I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately. Okay, not a “bit” of a funk, but a full-blown funk.
I’m struggling with moods that aren’t pretty. I’ve been allowing the negative thoughts that pop up throughout the day to win out.
One of the emotions that I so easily fall back on is anger. It’s triggered easily for me. Sadness and confusion, they turn to anger. Fatigue and frustration, they turn to anger. I’m quick to snap at my kids and if my husband were here I’d snap at him too.
The irony of my feeling this way right now is that two posts of mine about anger are on two different sites today.
God certainly has an excellent sense of humor. And impeccable perfect timing.
One of these posts is all about allowing anger and then doing something healthy with it. I cannot tell you how much I needed to be reminded of that today. Anger is okay. Snapping at my boys is not. I will find a way today to release my negative feelings, without hurting another soul. This post, called The Color Red is over at the Bloggers Annex today. If you haven’t been there, please check it out. It’s a great place to discover some really good posts and bloggers. Anyone can join and submit their posts for consideration.
The other post is a recent one called Shake it Off. That one was posted today on Mama Manifesto. I talked in this post about falling back on the habit of anger. (Oh, the irony.) I said in this post that I do anger without even thinking. It rears it’s head and I go with it. I want to learn a new way, a more peaceful way. But I’ve been forgetting in the midst of parenting alone with Ryan out of town, toddler tantrums every three minutes and the loud cries coming from Asher every time I leave the room. My response? Anger. Yelling. Impatience. Ugliness.
I’ve been talking about being more positive and going a little easier on myself lately here at the EO. I will keep trying. I will remember that I’m still a good mother. Sometimes I forget how to do that because it just doesn’t come all that naturally to me. But if you check out any of the links in this post, have it be this one by Jess over at One Wild and Precious Life. In the midst of my frustration and anger yesterday, it was exactly what I needed. Like I said, God is good with timing. And He loves me. He even lets me know how much right here on the internet. If you are a praying person, you will absolutely love her post.
Here’s to starting over. Again. Today. Thank God I’m not in this alone and that He thought up grace and mercy. He still believes that I am good. So I will too, because I think He’s pretty smart.