Dear Mother,

December 12, 2008

Have you heard of The Mother Letter Project? It’s just the sweetest thing. You can click on the link to learn more. In a nutshell, a sweet man out there is collecting letters for his wife. To join in, you’re simply asked to write a letter titled, Dear Mother. And then either give advice or encouragement of some kind and email him the letter. Then this lovely husband will compile them all (A LOT) in a book for his wife for Christmas. Doesn’t THAT rock the husband party? I encourage you to go read more about what this family is doing this Christmas rather than buying material gifts, it’s inspiring.

———–

Dear Mother,

You’re perfect.

It’s not that you don’t have faults, you do. You should know that, since you seem a bit focused on those faults.

But you’re absolutely the perfect fit for your children.

You have flaws of course, but they’re all covered up with the goodness of you–your intentions, and the depth that is in you, pounding to the beat of your children’s hearts.

———-

In the middle of the daily grind, it’s hard to catch your breath. The fatigue catches up with you at times, pulling you away from the person you’ve been striving to become. But your kids? They’ll forgive it all in a moment, when you take the time to apologize and start again. Their love is unconditional.

Isn’t it amazing how we’re given children to teach us exactly what that love looks like?

It’s a relief to know it goes both ways. We mothers would forgive a million mistakes our children make. It seems we should learn to forgive ourselves for our own.

———-

You never dreamed you could feel such a range of emotions in just one day. But here you are, completely crazy in love with your kids, while wanting to run away screaming in the midst of tantrums, stubborn arguments, and messes. The clash of such opposite emotions is so confusing. Then comes the guilt, the kind you can’t escape no matter how hard you try, leaving you to feel you’ve failed to do any of the things you intended to do well. Try to fight that guilt. Stop yourself when you hear the negative voices. The good things you’re doing are there, a thousand actions big and small. They are your unique ways of showing your love. Look at them. Think on them.

———-

Don’t forget that all the stages pass in a moment, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time. You’ll hardly be able to remember that piercing cry, the toddler time outs, the rat race and the chaos. That will all fly away like a feather on a breeze, catching up with the newborn baby smell and the pudgy little fingers.

So hang in there. You’re doing a beautiful job, whether you know it in every moment or not.

You’re a mother. You don’t have to be the kind of perfect Mother you try so hard to be. You’re already just the right Mom, just as you are.

Even when you make those mistakes you so despise, please remember, your children need you to believe in your goodness, so they can one day believe in their own.

You Rock,
Heather

{ 27 comments }

Sarah@Life in the Parsonage December 12, 2008 at 11:28 am

AH! That’s beautiful, choked me up!

Sarah December 12, 2008 at 11:38 am

I think that gift is so great! I love things like that. I almost want to ask if I can get a copy for myself…!

Especially if it has entries like this letter. You captured the feelings so very well.

Kim December 12, 2008 at 11:39 am

Heather, that is beautiful, and honestly, after my yesterday, just what I needed to read today.

Peanut December 12, 2008 at 11:41 am

Heather, how you manage to string together a coherent sentence, with all you’re going through, is beyond me. That was beautiful. And I’ll be back to read it again and again, because I need to hear it, every day.
You are the kind of mom friend every mom needs :)
I hope Asher is starting to feel better. I’ll keep praying for relief for him, and you.
Peanut :)

Cynthia December 12, 2008 at 11:44 am

I love the way you phrase things. What a beautiful idea. I’d heard about it on someone elses’ blog too. Maybe I should attempt to write something.

Bonnie Lewis December 12, 2008 at 11:56 am

I just posted a letter to my mom yesterday cause it was her birthday! I love moms!!

Becky December 12, 2008 at 11:59 am

“Even when you make those mistakes you so despise, please remember, your children need you to believe in your goodness, so they can one day believe in their own.”

This needs to go into the profound-quotes-that-will-change-your-life hall of fame, because it is golden!

minnesotamom December 12, 2008 at 12:44 pm

I can’t wait to see who this mommy is (I’m assuming post-Christmas we’ll get to find out). What a sweet husband!

Brooke December 12, 2008 at 12:46 pm

You are so amazing, and so good with words. Thank you for sharing this beautiful letter with us.

Heidi Ashworth December 12, 2008 at 1:46 pm

Poetry! How do you do that in the midst of so much stress? You amaze me!

Growin' with it! December 12, 2008 at 1:52 pm

how come you are so GREAT with words. will you write my letter? i emailed the guy and i’m posting it on my blog later. what a fabulous idea.

Rachel December 12, 2008 at 2:13 pm

Thank you for encouraging and affirming ME with your beautiful letter while you are in the middle of your own trials…after reading this post I felt renewed and equipped to make it through the rest of this very hard day I am having. Thank you.

Kristina P. December 12, 2008 at 3:02 pm

What a beautiful letter, Heather. You always know exactly what to say.

Abra December 12, 2008 at 3:38 pm

You are a rock girl!
(and you rock the party)

Lara December 12, 2008 at 6:13 pm

What a neat project!

And I loved your letter. Thanks. We all need to hear that sometimes.

CC December 12, 2008 at 6:59 pm

So sweet.

and I love how you end it.

You Rock.

Muthering Heights December 12, 2008 at 8:48 pm

What a sweet letter!

Melanie J December 13, 2008 at 12:30 am

“We mothers would forgive a million mistakes our children make. It seems we should learn to forgive ourselves for our own.” And that is some real truth, right there.

Kazzy December 13, 2008 at 1:17 am

What a sweet idea! Tender and feeling. Terrific post :)

Blessed December 13, 2008 at 9:04 am

I can’t wait to see the finished project…

Thanks for posting your letter today (ok, yesterday… :) ) – it was just the bit of encouragement I needed this morning!

happygeek December 13, 2008 at 11:59 am

crying.

Anonymous December 13, 2008 at 4:34 pm

Thanks for sharing your writings – really appreciated it. Keep writing with whatever you venture out in doing. Great posts especially for those who are really in that situations. Cheers.

Izzy 'N Emmy December 13, 2008 at 8:30 pm

Wow, I am jealous! What a fabulous idea. So sweet!

Jenna December 16, 2008 at 2:43 am

no heather, YOU ROCK! that was awesome, and perfect, and did you write that for me? because it spoke volumes. is it ok if i post that letter? (and then re-read it every single day because i need to hear those words, we ALL needs to hear those words, that truth, every single day.) serious rockage. ;)

Mammatalk February 26, 2009 at 6:11 pm

(insert shaky inhalation) Stop it! You’re making me cry all over my key board! So beautiful.

Heidi May 16, 2009 at 3:45 pm

Oh Heather! Who knew such a gift lay inside of you! How beautiful!!

L.T. Elliot October 21, 2009 at 4:40 pm

I love the Mother Letter Project.
I love this letter.
I love you.

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