April 2009

You get what you focus on

April 29, 2009

Wednesday~April 29, 2009 The extra long hugs, the wiping of tears,the in-depth answers to the many “whys.”the playing at the park,the looking long into blue eyes,and many “I love yous.”The dancing in the kitchen,the ruffling of hair.The wrapping snug in a toweland holding close.The tucking inand lingering long.The breathing in.The heart swelling. Sure, there are stresses and strains that turn me ugly around every corner, but there are many more moments that are the ones that truly define me as a mother. I just keep forgetting to look at those. My meltdowns are simply inevitable responses to all the plate spinning, balls in the air, tightrope walking, and pressure. The funny thing is, when I accept these moments of snapping and grumping without guilt, they are fewer, and life seems even more full of lovely. lovely feet lovely mud lovely ridelovely Levi’s diaper butt Thank you for allowing me to pop up in […]


Monday~April 27th, 2009 “Stop staring at me! You just keep staring and staring without saying anysing! STOP IT!” Those were the words from my three year old, being fired at me like bullets, a glare in his eyes. I stood there and thought about how right he was. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do, so I was just staring him down, waiting for his tantrum to stop, hoping my eyes would make it stop. My words sure weren’t working, they were only making it worse. I said “You’re right. I don’t know why I’m staring. I don’t know what else to do.” Then I walked away, wondering if God was getting a good laugh right about then. After all, I once thought I had all the answers. I once thought my child would never do that. That is pretty funny. Lately more and more people have been […]


This is juuust write

April 26, 2009

Sunday~April 26, 2009 YES, IT’S ME! These are my new digs! And I dig them! It’s me! The same Heather, only with some work done. But, Heather! Where did everything go??? Well, friends. It’s up there, inside those buttons that say links and hits. You see, it’s all really good stuff, but it’s also lots and lots of stuff. So I cleaned house. I simplified. And man, it feels good. (Doesn’t it, Tonggu Daddy?) I’ll be working out the kinks for a few days, adding things, removing things, and generally moving things around. You know, pressing out those fine lines and wrinkles. Sure, I really hope you like my new look, but if you don’t, you are not allowed to tell me. It would hurt my new blog’s feelings. Blogging reminded me that I love to write, and then it surprised me with these genuine connections, friendships I’ve made that totally rock the […]


Friday~April 24, 2009 Do you remember that time I made a fool of myself at IKEA? No, not that recent thing where the boys fell over in the cart, that was a different time. I’m talking about the time I was rapping. Well, if you don’t know that story, you can read it over at 5 Minutes for Parenting today. It’s the funniest story you’ve ever read in your whole entire life! (Or something.) (You could go over there and read it and maybe even leave a comment if you want so I don’t look like a total loser.) I haven’t had much computer time this week (like hardly at all), and so I’ve been doing lots of thinking about technology and relationships and true connection and all that. I’ve got an intriguing post on the subject brewing. So wait on pins and needles for that. Happy Friday! Thank you for allowing me […]


Wednesday~ April 22, 2009 The insightful, gifted, lovely and amazing Kelly of Love Well tagged me to do an ipod meme. I’m usually SO bad at following through with memes, but I love me an ipod meme. Such fun surprises awaited as I shuffled through my songs. Check it. ————— Instructions:1. Put your iPod (or MP3 player) on shuffle.2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN AS YOUR ANSWER, NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!4. Tag some Moms you admire who could use a laugh and a song. HOW DID YOU BECOME A MOM?My Heart Goes Out – Peirce Pettis WHAT DID YOU THINK THE FIRST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BABY?Family Hug – Bob McGrathWHAT DID YOU DO THE FIRST MORNING AFTER A SLEEPLESS NIGHT?It Might be Hope – Sara Groves WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN SOMEONE COLORS ON THE WALL? Morning […]


Tuesday~April 21, 2009When I was a kid and would finally decide I should clean up my pit of a room, I would pretend there was a reason I had to do it really fast, so I could get it over with. My favorite imaginary reason was that my mother-in-law was coming over. Obviously I wasn’t married, but I was good at pretending. Apparently I had noticed that a person cleans before their mother-in-law comes over. Or when anyone comes over, for that matter. I don’t think there many people who can totally refrain from picking up the house before someone comes over. I mean, unless they have no choice and absolutely no time. I do it too. Even if it’s my best friend in the whole world who could care less about the state of my home, I still rush around picking up toys and throwing dishes in dishwasher. Even if I don’t […]


A Special Need

April 20, 2009

Monday~April 20, 2009 It wasn’t until I heard other people say that my son was a boy with “special needs,” that I even considered this idea. I thought of Asher’s situation as something that happened, and then was “fixed.” Maybe I even thought that his shunt surgery saved him from having special needs at all. Because it did, for the most part. His hydrocephalus was caught at exactly the right time to prevent brain damage that would have effected his daily life more drastically. I wasn’t offended, hearing people describe Asher as a child with special needs, that’s not what I’m saying. I don’t think that’s offensive, since at some level, we all have special needs. Actually, it’s a little silly, but I was simply surprised, thinking “Oh yeah, I suppose he does have special needs.” Then recently, from an adult with hydrocephalus, I learned that “having hydrocephalus is like having a hang-over […]


It’s time…

April 18, 2009

Saturday~April 18, 2009They say you’re never really ready for this kind of adjustment. I know I never thought I’d want this. And then I found myself thinking those crazy thoughts, feeling so…ready. Strange, but true. I guess I just wanted more to love. But I didn’t want to be a cliche. I kind of like to fight the suburban cookie cutter existence, and it seems more and more families are heading this direction. I didn’t want to follow the crowd simply to follow the crowd. I wanted to be sure this was right for us. They say that the big decisions in life always come at a price, if you’re going to bring something good to your life. I just never thought we’d want more than two. But today. I’m really happy that we took the leap… … …. …. Ha! I know! I’m hilarious! Did I have you going?Nope, not preggers.Just a […]



April 17, 2009

Friday~April 17, 2009 I can hear Ryan’s voice through the window as he shouts praise, “Yeah, you got it! Just keep your eye on the ball! See? You did it! You’re doing great!” Why is it that something so ordinary really does become extraordinary when it happens to you, with your very own child? A small ball, a concentrated little face, and a smack of the bat…it all becomes the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. Today, while the extraordinary is happening outside the walls of this messy place, I frump around, trying to catch up on life. I’m mad that there are so many dishes and I’m confused by the mound of laundry that reinvented itself overnight. The bags from a recent trip are still left unpacked, and all the pulling on my pant legs got to me today. I feel weary. So I stand frozen, not doing any of it, just […]


Wednesday~April 15, 2009 “So I took him by the left leg and flung him down the stairs.” ????? THAT, my friends, is a line from a song on a CHILDREN’S CD. You know, Tunes for Toddlers or some such thing. The kind we listen to in the car. Which is quite often now that I’ve resolved to get out of the house and into the world more often. So I may have been losing my mind with us all cooped up too much before, but now I’m losing my mind hearing these ridiculous songs. Why do you put the CD in, Heather? Are you not “in the driver’s seat,” so to speak? I’ll get to that in a moment. So there are the usual suspects like “Rock-a-bye Baby,” in which a baby drops to the ground from a TREE TOP. And “Three Blind Mice.” What is up with that one? She cuts off […]


Monday~April 13th, 2009 I make grocery lists and then I don’t look at them while I’m at the store. I think it’s because I have a mind like a steel trap. Therefore, I remember (almost) every item all on my own, without the list. So I just leave the little list in the diaper bag, or my purse, or my pocket, or wherever it was tossed to the floor by small hands.So yeah, what was I saying? Oh! Mind like a steel trap… Yeah, that’s probably not it. Actually, it could just be that in the midst of all the unbuckling and re-buckling, the chasing, the reminding, the nagging, the answering of questions, the telling not to touch, to hold my hand, to stay by the cart, sit on your butt, and answering of more questions (deep breath)…Yes, I forget something(s), including the fact that I even made a list in the first […]



April 10, 2009

Friday~April 10th, 2009 There’s no 7 Quick Takes over at the Conversion Diary today, but I had to do them anyway. There are just too many small bits of information in my head that need capturing. Ready? GO! 1. I can’t believe I have not eaten even ONE Cadbury mini egg yet this Easter season. I have eaten about four packages of Peeps all by myself, but still no mini eggs. What gives? 2. Spring is almost all the way to Minnesota now. The sun is coming out to stop the snow and the air is moving it’s way above 40 degrees. One thing I love about having such stubborn winters is how their death and darkness are always completely destroyed by spring renewal. It’s truly miraculous, refreshing, powerful, and somehow it changes me. Every year. Just in time for Easter. 3. And spring makes me want to do something good. For only […]


Time keeps on slippin’

April 9, 2009

Thursday~ April 9, 2009 I’ve always had a problem with time. Either it goes too fast, or it goes too slow. I’m either looking at the clock in shock that it’s “already” later in the day than it feels, or irritated that the number displayed seems frozen. In time. And keeping time? Forget about it. In music or a daily schedule, I’m slow to learn. Now I’m experiencing the absolute Twilight Zone of time warps…the growing up of children. Yeah, TIME. Miles is nearing four. He’s clear evidence to me that what I suspected is true. Time can be both slow and fast at once. He’s a boy and a baby at the same time, confusing the both of us. The love I feel for him knows no bounds, and like every mother, I’ll always consider him my baby. Time. It happens so quickly, the ticking of the clock that brings about the […]


WFMW – Sorta Earthy

April 8, 2009

Wednesday~April 8, 2009 “You seem like you’re pretty earthy,” she said. And I paused a second and said, “Yes, I guess I am. I mean…yeah, I’m crunchy, but not totally.”I wrote a post recently for WFMW about healthier snacking for kids. In it I mentioned that we as a family are not entirely organic, but making healthy choices by limiting our chemical, pesticide, and additive intake is very important to me. (the sticker reads, “Don’t panic I’m organic.”) And even though it’s important to me, I still find it to be overwhelming sometimes. The food prices are higher and sometimes more limited and difficult to find. I’m forgetful and disorganized so I’m not too swell at finding the best prices and coupons to make organic living more affordable. And sometimes I’m just plain in a hurry, so I don’t read labels, I simply grab and go. One thing that helps me is Mama […]


Tuesday~April 7, 2009 My friend Kate and I took the boys to IKEA yesterday to avoid the cold and escape the craziness of cabin fever. We unloaded the small people and made our way through the sliding doors, and there she was, the scary employee with the most ill-fitting position of greeter. The one that chewed me out the last time we were there. You see, I had done an awful thing. I had gotten lost at IKEA, turned around and confused about which of the five elevators to take. So I guessed, and with my merchandise in hand I was ejected from an elevator on the opposite side that I had gotten in, and found myself back at the beginning. So I hopped out to grab a stray cart, because that was my mission anyway. It was then that I came face-to-face with the Welcome Lady, and she started yelling, “YOU CAN’T […]


I Am Not Dooce

April 6, 2009

Monday~ April 6, 2009 This is funny stuff, people. Are ya ready? I just checked my sitemeter and said to myself, “Why are there so many google searches that landed people here today?” Then I clicked on one, and another one, and another one…. The google search words? “Heather motherhood blog” Guess what, guys? Heather Armstrong was on Oprah today. You know, the Heather Armstrong of one of the best known blogs in the world? Yeah, Dooce. I wonder how long people will look around, confused, wishing they could understand how a blogger like me was on Oprah… I’m sure there will be a whole lotta‘ confusion. Especially because I look so much like her: Heather of the Dooce Heather of the EO I mean, seriously. If you photoshop my wrinkles and thin out my nose, darken the brows, straighten the hair, and stand really far away, we’re totally the same person. You […]


Posted on Sunday~April 5, 2009 When I was in high school, we had a class called Home Economics. I’m not even sure exactly what it’s called today…Family Science? Is that right? Anyway, I remember many things about Home Ec., like the fact that my kitchen partner was my boyfriend, and when we broke up I tearfully asked the teacher for a different partner. But that’s a whole other story. These days, the students are asked to carry around a life-like computerized doll for a week, to teach them what it’s like to be responsible for another person. The doll cries every once and awhile, needs changing and feeding here and there, and even wakes in the night. We didn’t have those dolls in my day, so we were required to carry around eggs. With cute little faces on them. Yes, just plain old white eggs, to tuck away in our lockers and backpacks. […]


Posted on Saturday~April 4, 2009 “Anybody who is honest will admit that they have times when they know they’re not being the mother they wish they would be. But, to dwell on mistakes is simply wasting time. We move on…learning, growing, improving, and loving our children to the best of our abilities.” –blueviolet I should just fill my posts with the things you guys say. Seriously, I’ve been IN LOVE with your comments on these mothering posts. There are so many wise and lovely moms out there. Thank you. Today I’m going to share a little more of my personal mom journey, and how Debbie’s advice (which I’ve mentioned in the last two posts) helped steer me back to the place I was going. We’re all just as different as mothers as we are as people. So I don’t think Debbie’s advice will suit every person. We all have different ways of doing […]


A friend revealed

April 3, 2009

Posted on Friday~April 3, 2009 After publishing my post on Mom Guilt yesterday, I felt uneasy about something. (No, surprisingly it wasn’t the fact that it takes me 427 paragraphs to say something. I felt fine about that.) But I felt a little off about sharing a quote from the person I had emailed while I was having a mothering meltdown without identifying who that person is. Something was gnawing at my gut, saying, “Isn’t it possible that many of your readers will know who this is, and you’re not giving her any credit at all?” So I said, “You’re right gut, I suppose there’s a small chance some people will know who she is, so when I share the advice she gave me, I should maybe give her a mention, just in case.” I did ask her permission to share her identity, just in case you were wondering. I’ll show you her […]


Posted on Thursday~April 2, 2009 There are around 100 posts in my archives with labels like ‘parenting’ and ‘motherhood’. You’d think I was some sort of expert or something. But then you’d be really wrong, and who likes that? Let’s just say that if you were a fly on my wall, you wouldn’t be that impressed.(And you’d be really cute with your big, bulgy eyes.) It’s not that I’m a bad mom, I’m just probably not what you think I am. I’m not saying that because I’m having a pity party or looking for accolades. I’m saying that because we all struggle. This is exceptionally hard work. I had a really bad day the other day (of course it was Tuesday/Bluesday, what’s the deal with that?). By the afternoon I had no idea what to do, how to handle yet another tantrum, or how a person goes about saving their sanity. The truth […]



April 1, 2009

ACK!!! This just in! I’m up over at TopMomma.com today! Have you heard of this? Well, either way…would you be so kind as to head on over there, check out the place and click the Moms Rock button? That’s me! Please click HERE to get to the main page and give the EO a click! Thank you so much! If my blog gets the most hits, I become Top Momma and then I RULE THE WORLD! What fun! (bwaaahaaaahaaa!!!!) —————— And if you’re here from TopMomma.com, WELCOME!! Thank you for coming by. If you want, you could click on the Greatest Hits button at the top of my blog. You’ll find some posts worth reading there. I think…I hope…I mean, other people liked them a lot, so it’s worth a try! Thank you! Thank you for allowing me to pop up in your inbox and for reading my words, silly or serious. I […]


O Baby

April 1, 2009

Posted on Wednesday~April 1, 2009 I realize that title is misleading. No, I’m not pregnant! But I am taking part in this carnival of funput on by my blog friend, Rachel atIn His Hands. Prepare to say, “ooooh and aaaawww and OH NO and OH MY!” Apparently something was confusing. Or mesmerizing.(That’s me on the left there, and my lovely sister on the right.)I wonder how long I would sit there,sliding those green and white balls back and forth?Probably a really long time. That’s the walker I fell down the basement stairs in… and then I looked like this: Those bruises are actually from a different injury, not the stairs.Maybe they appeared after I looked at that piece of furniture behind me.POW! Right between the eyes! Or perhaps when my eyes gazed upon my sister’s shirt…the one with the printed on vest.Yes, see? She’s not even actually wearing a vest. POW! Hey! I […]