The insides of my cheeks are really fat (and other mysteries)

August 11, 2009

Tuesday~August 11, 2009

The insides of my cheeks are really fat. I can hardly rest my top teeth on my bottom teeth because I end up biting my fat cheeks. It’s annoying. Just last night I bit my cheek while I was sleeping and it woke me up.

Apparently I feel that this is exceptionally interesting blog fodder.

While I’m at it…

I only grow hair in one armpit. I’ve never grown hair in the left. No idea why. Sometimes I wonder if it’s growing and growing and growing under the surface. (Yes, I’ve asked the doctor. Something about no hair follicles in that part of my body.) It does save shaving time, which is how I see the silver lining around being this weird.

I broke the middle toe on my right foot once, right after I saw that Charlie’s Angels movie with Cameron Diaz in it. I was trying to do a high kick and smashed my toe into someone’s hand. I can’t believe that was nine years ago.

I say word ‘em up in casual conversation far too often. It’s my way of agreeing.

I don’t feel like I’m 34 most of the time. More like 23.

Except I did feel 34 while at the library this morning. I took my scattered self and my two small people on an adventure, looking for your book recommendations. Except I had no real plan, no rhyme or reason to my search. I had my list with many book titles, a number of them with no author. So I would run back and forth to a computer, doing searches and making notes to myself that made no sense. Then I would crawl around and scan every shelf up and down in no particular order. All the while, Miles and Asher took turns yelling Mommy! for various reasons. It was tiring, but also totally worth it…

I’m only part-way through the list, but this was all I could carry. Wouldn’t it be nice of me to compile a list in alphabetical order for you? Maybe I’ll do that. I’m not making any promises though, even though I do promise to try. Then you could bring the list to the library with all of these great suggestions without being quite as frazzled as I was.

If you missed the chance to tell me what your favorite children’s book is, and therefore be entered in a giveaway for one of TWO Billy Jonas albums (THEY ROCK. WORD ‘EM UP), you can click HERE for my last scattered post and your chance to win. I’d love even more book suggestions to take on another library adventure. Frazzled or not, we love us the library and it’s books.

P.S. I’m not that weird. It doesn’t mean you’re normal just because you have skinny cheeks and grow hair in both your armpits. Don’t forget about that weird thing about you. You know the one…

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{ 46 comments… read them below or add one }

fruitlady August 11, 2009 at 12:48 pm

Other than needing vision correction surgery because I am blind as a bat, there is something very weird about my knees. Extra flesh on the knees for no apparent reason. In case I ever need a skin graft they need look no further than all that extra FLESH on top of my knees. WTF.

I would love to not grow arm pit hair. You can get the other one lasered and just be done with the whole hair removal process in that area all together.


Jo@Mylestones August 11, 2009 at 12:54 pm

I'm still laughing about how you broke your middle toe. That is the kind of random, weird funny stuff that cracks me up. And why I love you and your fat cheeks to pieces.


deb August 11, 2009 at 12:59 pm

I needed this laugh today, you're the best.
I just came home from a new hair place at the mall, the average middle not too posh and overpriced salon, and the place was staffed with all my teens BFF gushing about how they totally got blitzed at the cottage and LOMG Ryan's brother talked to me!
I felt about a hundred years old.
But the hairdo rocks.


Steph @Red Clay Diaries August 11, 2009 at 1:08 pm

I love your randomosity. I have a lipoma on my back. That's a fatty tumor. Whenever my husband touches it, he refers to it as my "TOOMAH". To which I reply, "It's NAHT a TOOMAH!" Good times.


Dave August 11, 2009 at 1:11 pm

i forgot to tell you blue hat, green hat by sandra boynton. does this count as an extra entry?

and I have never broken a bone. concussion and nerve damage after a 20ish foot fall, but no broken bones :-)


Midwest Mommy August 11, 2009 at 2:26 pm

I am beginning to think our brains are clones of each other (does that even make sense?). I can totally see myself asking a doctor if that meant hair was growing out of control under my armpit skin. It makes sense but I am glad you asked and the answer is no because man that might just be ewww.

Yes, make a list because yes, I am lazy like that :-)


mandiegirl August 11, 2009 at 2:27 pm

Um, I had gangreen from a rollerblading accident….that's quite freakish, I'd say. ;)


L.T. Elliot August 11, 2009 at 2:34 pm

I have horns.
Well, that's what I tell people. They're actually little fatty cysts on my head but I tell people they're horns. I have to get them removed often but they just keep coming back. =P Guess I really am a devil.


minnesotamom August 11, 2009 at 2:38 pm

I went through a "wearing ski goggles for no good reason" phase after watching Addicted to Love with Meg Ryan. But I didn't break anything! :)


Kimberly August 11, 2009 at 2:42 pm

Girl, you should see my toe hair. I'm just sayin'.


Kristen@nosmallthing August 11, 2009 at 2:43 pm

I'm with Jo. I pictured you doing a high kick and cracked up. And I don't even know you. But basically, it's totally something I would do. And the armpit hair? That is very interesting.

And I still say "word." And I bet I sound like an idiot when I say it.



Deb August 11, 2009 at 2:58 pm

word.em.up, sista, word em up!


Kristina P. August 11, 2009 at 3:11 pm

You don't grow ANY hair there?Hmmmmm.


Deb August 11, 2009 at 3:25 pm

okay, fine.

i have been guilted back here (yes, by you, heather) to expose to all of your readers one of my many oddities… i have quite a few, but the i guess the strangest, and most humiliating (although not visible by the naked eye) is that i have a tail. yep. i have one extra vertebra at the bottom of my spine. ick.


Beth August 11, 2009 at 3:28 pm

Can I just say how much I ADORE knowing random things about random people! So thanks for making my day. The cheek thing…ouch! Are you like me, that when you bite it, you end up biting it again…and again?!

Your "word 'em up" is my "for realz" :)


Heather of the EO August 11, 2009 at 3:34 pm

Deb, you're a real and true blog friend, coming back here to mention your tail.



happygeek August 11, 2009 at 3:38 pm

I have what my family refers to as double bumps.
I have a itty-bitty chest and protruding ribs.
Before I had babies (and the subsequent tummyfat) it looked like I had two tiny sets of boobs one on top of the other.
I'd give one set to only have to shave one pit.


Jenn @ A Country Girl's Ramblings August 11, 2009 at 4:21 pm

I have really long toes. So much so, that I have been told many times that I have "finger-toes". But, hey I don't mind, cuz I can pick things up off the floor with these babies!!!


sara August 11, 2009 at 4:29 pm

wow, the no-hair-in-the-left-arm-pit just pretty much left me speechless!

I did bite my tongue in my sleep the other night……it hurt for 2 days!!!


Christy M. August 11, 2009 at 4:31 pm

And all this wierdness is why I love you. You ROCK!!!


Jami August 11, 2009 at 5:00 pm

I just love you! A little fat cheek, a little glorious insight, a little heartbreak, a little toe break. A lot of love. Always a delight.

I guess of picture books I like The Paperbag Princess the best. I was thinking older children's books when I gave L,W,W last time.


Susan B. at warmchocmilk August 11, 2009 at 5:19 pm

Yes, I'm a weird one too. Speaking of children's music (last post) and being weird (this one) Jack Pearson has a great children's song called Purple Tree Trunks (about being weird). you can visit him at Jack Pearson. org or I can the CD you can walk over 3 blocks and borrow it :) See ya thursday!


MommyJ August 11, 2009 at 6:54 pm

I have never in my whole life ever met anyone that only grows hair in one armpit. But then… I'm thinking maybe that isn't the kind of thing people just randomly share…

Oh wait. Maybe it is. :)

I'm weird in so many ways, I can't even begin to explain.


Aunt LoLo August 11, 2009 at 7:04 pm

Ok, I'm a little jealous of the armpit thing.

On another note – have your cheeks ALWAYS been fat? My cheeks puff up, and so does my tongue, when I am "yiht hei". Umm…lack of sleep, lack of water, lack of fruits and vegetables…those can all make you yiht hei. It's a Chinese thing. If I bite my tongue or cheek while I'm talking or eating, it's almost CERTAIN that I'm yiht hei. ;-)


Roban August 11, 2009 at 7:32 pm

funny lady…. Who ever heard of not growing hair in one armpit? I'm totally jealous of this, y'know….

I have TONS of favorite children's books….

One you should read is "Sweet Dream Pie." (book with author's name is upstairs….) It's a great summer story and is actually a let's go to sleep story by the time you finish reading it. (Eating a huge big pie and seeing everyone get all sleepy does it….)

Great illustrations and story!

And I honestly can't think of one weird thing about me (except how funny my little toes look… they kind of lay on their side… I've never seen another one like them.)


jen@odbt August 11, 2009 at 7:38 pm

Hey – I broke the middle toe on my right foot too but it wasn't as glamourous as a high kick. Now it's a little off kilter. Like the rest of me ;)


april August 11, 2009 at 7:55 pm

You're not weird. If you are, I am. I think fart machines are funny. I own one. Had it in Chicago with me, ask Lisa. ;o)


Debbie August 11, 2009 at 8:25 pm

I regret to inform you that our friendship is off. I had no idea you were abnormal.
So, here's the thing. My cheeks have huge ridges in them from biting them hundreds of time. Maybe that is what is going on with you. Kinda like scar tissue I think.
Love the armpit thing. Do you ever forget and try to shave it?
I have now broken toes three times. The last time was last week. Walked into a dining room chair leg. No movie tie-in I am afraid to say.
Bill Peet books. Have you done them? My kids loved them.
I am sorry I am still mostly awol. Getting kids ready for college is time-consuming. I had no idea.


Jen August 11, 2009 at 8:46 pm

I think that its awesome that you only have one hairy arm pit. that is something I would want too.

Did you figure out the title to that meatball book?


Sheryl August 11, 2009 at 9:08 pm

wow!! i spit fritos at the laptop when i read about armpit. that is some good stuff.

i bite my cheeks all the time, but never stopped to wonder if it's becuz they are fat. i am too obsessed with how WIDE my tongue is. it does not fit in the space between my teeth.


Keyona August 11, 2009 at 9:24 pm

Just wanted you know know "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie" makes me smile. A lot. Thanks for asking. :o)


Adventures In Babywearing August 11, 2009 at 9:37 pm

I have way too many weird things about me- no one could possibly understand!

Fave books- Zin Zin A Violin! and the beatrix potter collection.



Kimberly August 11, 2009 at 9:47 pm

My left eye does not cry unless I'm really boohooing! If I pinch my nose and blow, water shoots out of my eyes!!!!!


Tim August 11, 2009 at 10:46 pm

Great post! You crack me up!

I bite my cheeks all the time too, but I cant relate on the only one underarm thing. That is weird. LOL

Hope your having a good week!

Love and Prayers,



Amber Lynae August 11, 2009 at 11:45 pm

I'll have to show you my freakishly long second two sometime. Some people have a longer second toe… then there is me… yeah. That is only one of the weird things about me.

But you, you are awesome. Going to the library and picking up all those books. I normally let little princess pick a few books and leave it at that. But you have quite the collection there. That is AWESOME!


Cynthia August 11, 2009 at 11:55 pm

Okay, fine, I'll confess my own weirdness. My left eye is 2/3's blue (like the right one) and 1/3 brown.

Glad you had a good/typical library trip. Now, if you can get the books back ON TIME you'll be doing a lot better than me!


charrette August 12, 2009 at 12:32 am

There's something sort of delightful (in a totally non-schadenfreude-ish way) to reading about everyone's weirdnesses here. I love the way you broke your toe. I broke my nose watching a scary movie (The Haunting) at a Halloween party when I was a teenager. There's this one super-scary part where a lady's face popped out unexpectedly. The guy behind me grabbed my shoulders and it scared me so bad I jerked forward and broke my nose on the chair in front of me! hahaha!

Now for more weirdness: I have a wen. (A what? A wen.) It's not a cue for Who's on First? It's basically just a marble-shaped bump on my head. My kids think it's freakishly strange. And love to feel it. But no one else seems to notice, thank heaven!

I remembered some audio-books you need. Master Storyteller Willy Claflin tells these Maynard Moose stories that are kind of like fractured fairy tales. They're hilarious! We all love them, including the jaded teenagers.


Adventures In Babywearing August 12, 2009 at 5:03 am

I have way too many weird things about me- no one could possibly understand!

Fave books- Zin Zin A Violin! and the beatrix potter collection.



Adventures In Babywearing August 12, 2009 at 5:08 am

Um, if I could delete that duplicate comment hours later I would… I am on my phone and it was the last thing I did before bed and when I went to check my phone just now it posted my comment again. My cookies won't let me delete on my phone. And this is just another example of my weirdness that can not be explained.



Sabrina August 12, 2009 at 7:40 am

I have a row of baby teeth behind my adult front teeth… It's weird.


Bonnie August 12, 2009 at 1:49 pm

You are too funny!

I don't have toe nails on my little pinky toes. I don't think that is very uncommon though.


Laura@LifeFaithHomeSchool August 12, 2009 at 10:56 pm

Oooh, ooh, I had a similar experience like your toe…well, sort of. I just saw 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' with my three brothers, and did a high kick, landing on my back, and completely getting the wind knocked out of me. I felt great.

Oh, and this 'word 'em up' — does it refer to 'Word Girl'?


Jessica August 13, 2009 at 8:02 pm

I just need to laugh right now and you never fail to bring a smile . . . love your weird things, and especially your fun way of telling them- we can all relate!


susana August 14, 2009 at 5:55 am

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Semi-Organized Mom August 18, 2009 at 7:13 pm

I had to let you know that my favorite children's picture book is Diary of a Worm and Diary of a Spider. Omgosh those books have me in stitches!


Anonymous November 6, 2009 at 11:38 am

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