let’s just sit here for a moment

June 7, 2011

Lately, every day starts very early in the backyard. I sit on a yellow patio chair and I read and then a little later, I write. I sip coffee (yes, I have one cup of coffee while pregnant) and later Ryan joins me with the newspaper and I’m not even kidding you, there is a hummingbird right over there just now; a few feet from me, no lie. It is sticking its nectar syringe in tiny pink flowers with tiny wings batting in front of a red throat. I’m trying not to move.

Maybe if I sit still long enough this beautiful moment won’t pass.

Oh. There it went. Bye Bye Birdie.

I think the same thing about my motherhood life right now–maybe if I sit still long enough, this moment of it will stay just as it is because it’s so good. Of course, that would mean staying pregnant forever and I’m not up for that. But I mean, just this, all of this. The way the boys are right now, in their still-little-but-getting-big stage, the way they allow for patio time in the morning and play together so well. The way the mornings are so full of light and warmth, a comfortable warmth. All the love. We have so much.

This is gratitude. Let’s just sit in it and try not to move.

(Don’t worry. Yes, I do realize that this patio time will often not exist when our newborn joins us…and that’s okay. She will give me many reasons for a grateful heart, I’m sure of that.)

:::

I read my email in the mornings, before the day starts to stretch and then sprint in front of me.  This morning, I also read over the comments on my “Glass” post.  I wanted to sit with those words from you because sometimes it feels like I’m not saying anything anymore. Maybe I just tire of myself; I don’t know. But in those comments, more than one person reminded me that telling my addiction story helped them to quit drinking or to think about their drinking, or maybe my stories resonate no matter what the pain issue. That’s what you said, anyway. I’m so grateful for the things you say.

Sometimes we have to sit in it and talk about it, don’t we? Pain.

So let me just sit here with your words and try not to move. Just for a moment, before the day moves on and I get in the car for one of my last prenatal doctor appointments where I will hear a hummingbird heartbeat, my ginormous belly will be measured and oh yes, I will be weighed.

Yes. Let’s just sit here for a moment with our stories.

I’m so grateful for this crazy mixed up fast and slow life, and for this blogging world where I have met soul sisters.

I want to tell you what a whole bunch of these soul sisters did for me yesterday. Something so big and so good and so stunning…and I will, I will tell you. Soonly.  But now the day has stretched and started sprinting, wings all a-flutter, taking off. So I’ll move with it and tell you another day while we just sit for a moment.

 

morning view

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Lindsey June 7, 2011 at 7:50 am

Heather … this is so beautiful. It is classic, vintage you (in my opinion). You write of the fullness of life, of its fleetingness and the tender, swollen feeling in each moment in a way that touches me at my core. Thank you. xox

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designhermomma June 7, 2011 at 8:15 am

Love you! Love your ever-evolving story. Thank you for letting us in, and sharing in it.
designhermomma recently posted..bringing back the everyday ordinary

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Sara Bowyer June 7, 2011 at 8:43 am

Love this! it is very quiet and calm in my house right now too and I am soaking it in before the speed of the day picks up!!
Sara Bowyer recently posted..A little bit of random on Tuesday

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Sarah June 7, 2011 at 9:17 am

Oh yes, let’s. Let’s just sit here and listen and look and feel it all. The good or the bad of this moment. Let’s. I’m with you. xo
Sarah recently posted..love wraps

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Robin Arnold June 7, 2011 at 10:56 am

I need to sit on my patio more for my ooze-in-to-the-day time. We have the same morning. But, instead of little boys, I have a boy cat. And instead of a pregnant belly, I have aging woman belly…fair warning by the way. And instead of writing, I’m at a writing standstill, but I am reading, and I’m plotting garden shapes on graph paper in colored pencil and looking forward to the growth ahead.

I’m always blessed when I check in with you!
Robin Arnold recently posted..Rapture rumor cracks open a door

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Angie June 7, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Have I ever mentioned how lovely you and your heart are?

Well, you are.
Angie recently posted..It’s Not About Age

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Christine @ Coffees & Commutes June 7, 2011 at 1:14 pm

I love this, every word. But I feel it particularly acutely since I’ve just come off a very similar weekend when everything, for a snapshot in time, two endless days, felt wonderful and perfect. We need to hold on that! And we need to hold on to whatever we can get from this place. It can be very beautiful, it IS very beautiful with people like you in it.

Thinking of you lots and looking forward to hearing your big news whenever it shall come.
xo
Christine @ Coffees & Commutes recently posted..This country life

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Issa June 7, 2011 at 4:04 pm

This was just beautiful.

Sometimes, I think we have to tell the harder stuff, to be able to remember to be grateful with what is in front of us.

As someone a few years ahead of you in this mothering gig, I will tell you that things change as they get a bit older, but it’s still pretty freaking great.
Issa recently posted..This time I took the easy door

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Sherry June 7, 2011 at 5:33 pm

I really enjoy the emotion in all of your posts…it’s good to be reminded there are others in the world struggling or enjoying the same issues like myself. Thank you, thank you.

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Adventures In Babywearing June 7, 2011 at 9:57 pm

Well, love, this was fantastic and just the calm before the storm in your belly today! Thinking of you tonight.

Steph
Adventures In Babywearing recently posted..asher &amp ivy

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Kazzy June 8, 2011 at 11:42 am

Been thinking about you lately. Warm hugs…
Kazzy recently posted..shhhh

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moosh in indy. June 8, 2011 at 5:43 pm

I think little miss acorn saw just how good it is on the outside and decided that’s where she wanted to be. With a mom like you? I don’t blame her one bit.
moosh in indy. recently posted..sad babies- ferret milk and a confession

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