taking care

October 23, 2011

We were getting so much support and love through facebook and twitter last night and the whole time I felt weird that I wasn’t saying what happened exactly. Here was Miles, all cut up and head-bonked and not moving his arm and I couldn’t say why because I don’t want to hurt the person that was with him. It was an accident.

They were on a four wheeler and I know that’s not okay. I should have said “my kids can never go on the four wheeler even if I know you’ll be so slow and careful.” But I didn’t. I wasn’t there, but I never said don’t ever do that. We all knew in our heart-guts that it wasn’t the safest thing but you want to make the kids happy with a short and slow ride, you know? So here is another lesson in listening to ourselves.

They weren’t even moving. They were idling, sitting still. And Asher grabbed the throttle and pushed hard. The grown-up who shall remain nameless couldn’t stop it all from happening fast enough (of course not, who can?) and hitting the gas like that sent them shooting forward and up on back wheels and flipping. The four wheeler landed upside down and against a pole and we have no idea how their little bodies landed off to the side instead of under.

Miles said he knows God was taking care of him.

Asher was held close and tight and carefully as they fell and he was saved from an injury at all, thank goodness and thank shall-remain-nameless. Miles was on the back though, so there was no helping him. He landed on the tar from up above and must have hit his shoulder and head the most. He has cuts and scrapes over his belly and arms and his head. Two bumps, one to the front and one to the back of his round noggin.

And a broken collar bone. This morning, after getting to bed waaaay late because of the ER, he was up at six, crying and unable to get the strength and courage to move. It took two hours but then he did it. He overcame fear and sat up. He’s slowly walking and sitting, scared and hurting. Ohmyheart.

We have this perspective: He is alive. And that sounds dramatic but you should have seen that ATV. It’s a mess and the way it was up against that pole. I just can’t stand the thought.

Even with perspective, it doesn’t mean that life isn’t hard right now. We’ve been so exhausted and at the end of ourselves with Elsie and Ryan leaves to travel for work again tomorrow and I just don’t know. Why kicked when down? What is the lesson? I know there is one and I think it might be that I’m learning about the end of myself and I feel like I’ve been learning that for quite a while now.

My Maggie texted me last night and she said “I want to put your heart in a sling.” I cried at that because her heart gives me tears sometimes and I’m just so grateful for each one of you that cares about us so much. You are the things that pull us through when life is just as messy as it is for all of us. You are the biggest way God takes care of us.

And now Miles is having pizza for breakfast.

 

Last night in the ER – Mr. Bravey Braverton

{ 50 comments }

Adventures In Babywearing October 23, 2011 at 8:57 am

Oh, baby! I am so sorry. Wow. I know exactly what you mean by it’s only a head wound and broken collar bone. I hope your heart can rest and soon forget the play by play in your mind. It’s over and it’s going to be okay. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.

Steph
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Lisa-Jo@thegypsymama October 23, 2011 at 9:03 am

Oh my heart – we mothers, we parents really – we live out there on the shore of the ocean of vulnerability and it is a terrifying place to wake up one day after 9 months and discover ourselves.

So grateful your boys are (relatively) OK. Praying peace for you as you swim back to shore.

With warmest blessings,
Lisa-Jo
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Erica@PLRH October 23, 2011 at 9:06 am

Oh, thank goodness it was “just” a broken collar bone. Since God only gives us what we can handle, he must believe that you can handle quite a bit. Hang in there. And good call on pizza for breakfast. That would have been my choice too.
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Ann October 23, 2011 at 9:07 am

I missed all of this last night. Oh this is the worst. It reminds me of my inlaws and their love of piling kids on the scooter for a ride with a grown up (being careful! going slow!)–without helmets etc..Same thing, my gut says NO and my heart says let them have fun for once.

ATV’s are so terrifying. I think of how my friend took me to her cabin in grade school and we rode them and I was terrified and not in control at all.

So many thank God’s to a life. Also, for some reason these things seem to happen disproportionately when you have a newborn–just when you think you can’t handle one more thing.

Ugh. I’m so sorry for such a fright and for your sore, scared boy. Thank God everyone is “okay.” xoxo
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Krista October 23, 2011 at 9:09 am

O sweet boy. I’m so glad he’s OK. These accidents that involve our children always leave us full of questions and regret about our decisions, but they are just that – accidents. Give him lots of pizza and hugs and kisses. He’s OK. And that’s all that matters.
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thepsychobabble October 23, 2011 at 9:10 am

I grew up in a very NO-orientated home when it came to anything with a motor. Whereas the husband has been riding since…forever?
It’s a constant tug-of-war between the “I know they are being safe. I know he is careful.” and the “But it COULD go wrong.”
It’s hard to figure out the “right” answer. I’m glad he’s, relatively speaking, okay.
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SoberJulie October 23, 2011 at 9:19 am

OH NO! I’m sorry I missed this on Twitter last night, and kinda glad I did. I know how it feels when one of your chicks is hurt and it’s out of your control and it’s just plain awful.
Bravo to you my sister for being able to see a lesson so quickly, I’ll change that sling for you often and surround you with pillows for you to yell into when you need to.
xoxoxox

Anti-Supermom October 23, 2011 at 9:20 am

Hugs to all of you! You will end up at the right side of all of this. It may just take more time, and patience.
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Sabrina October 23, 2011 at 9:25 am

So thankful that it wasn’t worse… but as a mother now, even a slight bump is a major wound!!! Hugs and kisses to one of the funniest boys i’ve ever met! :)
AND…Hugs to you!!!!
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Candy October 23, 2011 at 9:27 am

My heart sank when I saw your tweet. Bravey Braverton, indeed. We don’t ask why; we just ask Who. God protected him and may everyone who reads this understand just a smidge of extra caution, and perhaps a little more appreciation of boys being boys. This is how they grow to be men who learn they are not invincible and the boss of things. Break by break, stitch by stitch, they grow in courage, humility, faith and strength – mostly by falling in some way or another. But dang, that is so hard for us moms to watch. We’d much rather bear all of their pain, would we not? It’s nobody’s “fault” – not Asher, not you, not shall-remain-nameless. It just happened and I wish I could move north to help you out right now. Big hugs, Heather.
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tracy@sellabitmum October 23, 2011 at 9:47 am

Oh my heart. Hugs my friend. Thinking about your guys.xoxo

Lisa Rae @ smacksy October 23, 2011 at 10:00 am

Hugs, love, and healing for all of you sweet people.
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Michelle G October 23, 2011 at 10:06 am

Oh my heart is right. Living on “the farm”, with lots of toys and gadgets, I know the feeling of being torn between letting them have “slow, safe fun” and thinking, “but what if it goes wrong??” We’ve made our fair share of trips to the ER, the most recent one not but 3 weeks ago with Esmond in his halloween costume he was trying on. Praise God your little men are OK, and yup that could’ve just as easily been one of my little munchkins. Hugs.

C @ Kid Things October 23, 2011 at 10:10 am

You can’t protect them from everything, sometimes these things happen. Says the mom who freaks out about everything. But I’m so glad it wasn’t worse. Here’s to hoping for a speedy recovery, and lots of breakfast pizza.
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darcie October 23, 2011 at 10:14 am

I’m so so so glad it wasn’t worse…ugh. So scary!! &, you know what?
I love when my kids get to go for ATV rides & I often wish we had room for our own…turns out this is a lesson for me as well…thinking of you guys…

Maggie, dammit October 23, 2011 at 10:16 am
Varda (SquashedMom) October 23, 2011 at 10:58 am

Oh my heart indeed. Thanking everyone and every higher power that needs to be thanked that it wasn’t worse. Sending love and hugs and fast healing.

Speaking of which, the Native Americans call the comfrey plant “bone knit” and supposedly helps that process – Google it. Sometimes combination of western and alternative/native medicines produce the n-most wonderful results. And Arnica Gel (another herbal remedy) will make bruises heal TWICE as fast as without. Proven with us time and again. It’s available at regular drug stores these days.

Sorry to be so advice-y, but I feel bad I can’t just race up to you and help out in person, so this is my “do something” gene kicking in. (More hugs.)
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Nicole @ Rare Bird October 23, 2011 at 11:09 am

Loving on you all this morning–we’ve been praying, so I am SO glad he is home and resting. Here’s to breakfast pizza and lunch doughnuts and cartoons and whatever else might make today a little easier!
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Galit Breen October 23, 2011 at 11:09 am

Oh, your heart and oh, your sweet boy.

Pizza for breakfast, Mama- keep going with that heartgut of yours. It’s magic.

Much love to you all.

xo
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Kellyn October 23, 2011 at 11:19 am

Oh Heather! I am so sorry! Poor Miles, poor Asher! I hope you are all getting the much needed rest, and that he heals quickly.

Big hugs and much love
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Busy Bee Suz October 23, 2011 at 11:54 am

Perspective is a good thing. Thank goodness it was not worse. :)
A sling should be invented for hearts in times like this.
Take care,
Suz
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Kathryn (@kat1124) October 23, 2011 at 12:03 pm

So glad your boy is ok, Heather. I have neighbors who think I’m crazy because I won’t let my boy ride on those stupid “kid cars”, who thought that up anyway…electric vehicles for little kids?!? Kids are dumb and fearless. Men, even more so it seems. That’s why they have mommas. :) Hugs to you all.
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Jamie October 23, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Oh my heart just broke for you, and at the same time, I am so relieved for you. Thank God for taking care of your boys!! Love, hugs and prayers to you all <3
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laura @ Hollywood Housewife October 23, 2011 at 12:15 pm

I’m so sorry you’re going through all this. Hugs to you.
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Sarah October 23, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Oh the poor boy! I can see exactly this situation happening this holiday season when we visit family. Another reason to say no, I guess.

Thank goodness he’s mostly ok. Thank goodness he knows who is taking care of him — that’s one smart boy.

Good luck with the end of you. Sometimes God lets us get there so we can learn better how to trust Him. I hope things get easier for you this next week.

Lisa/MommyMo October 23, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Accidents happen and they are scary and they suck. I am so sorry for poor Miles and for you. Big hugs my friend!

melissa October 23, 2011 at 12:45 pm

What a brave little guy! And a brave mama, too. So glad everyone’s (mostly) okay.

Stephanie Hanes October 23, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Oh Heather…how terrifying! No matter how it happened, these things happen…it’s one of those fears that comes with motherhood – the fear of “what if” and it really is hard to know what the right choice is. I’m just so sorry this had to happen to you right now when everything is already so hard (oh, do I remember those newborn days…) – I’ll be praying for you and your sweet little man.

MamaBear October 23, 2011 at 2:07 pm

My heart was in knots reading this post – even though I knew how it ended. Honestly it never crossed my mind to wonder who was to blame. Accidents happen – and like you said, they weren’t even moving when it happened! So thankful that it wasn’t worse and your whole family will continue to be in my prayers. ((hugs))
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BaronessBlack October 23, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Oh NO! So relieved for you that everyone’s okay. You’re all in our thoughts and prayers.
I wish I could do more! Sending cyber-hugs!
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Melissa Goerke October 23, 2011 at 5:21 pm

OMG. I will keep you in my thoughts and send you strength! What a scary thing to go through. Yes, we do seem to get piled on sometimes. Life never seems to hand us crap in small doses. Not sure what’s up with that, but it’s on my list of things to ask if I ever meet the person or persons in charge! You will survive!

Tricia October 23, 2011 at 8:07 pm

So sorry that you have to go through this but happy that everyone is ok. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

erin from swonderland October 23, 2011 at 9:13 pm

I know a seven year old who was killed that way. That EXACT way. Except he was the one who grabbed the throttle. So sorry for this experience but oh, mama, I am SO GRATEFUL he was relatively unharmed. Love love love to all of you.
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Sherry October 23, 2011 at 9:15 pm

My heart sunk as soon as I read the word “four-wheeler”. My parents have one…a BIG one and though they’ve never asked to take either of my two little ones (ages 1 and 3) for a ride, your story is a reminder to actually tell them “no” before the question is asked. But what happened to your little Miles could have happened to anyone, I’m awfully thankful he is going to be just fine eventually, a little healing in his future. I’m hoping you have a large support system to help you, you’re going to need lots and lots. Take it, all of it!

Kimberly October 23, 2011 at 9:29 pm

Oh, my heart. I’m so glad that he’s okay. Accidents with our little ones leave us questioning everything. But they’re just that. Accidents. I’m sure after lots of pizza and hugs and kisses he will be okay (and so will you). ;)
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Steph @ Diapers and Divinity October 24, 2011 at 12:08 am

Thinking of you, Heather. Disasters like this one are such a blurry mess of fear and faith and despair and gratitude all wrapped up into one. Prayers for you and your little Miles. Whenever you get overwhelmed or scared, just keep hugging the lucky blessings that are still yours, and you’ll feel a little better.
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TheKitchenWitch October 24, 2011 at 5:38 am

Sweet Miles–so happy you are okay, little man.

Don’t beat yourself up too much, Heather. It wasn’t anything you could have seen coming…boys are curious, you know.

Awesome Stepkid R.’s bio-mom lives on a farm with her husband/kids. Her husband’s (then) 18 year old took ASR (then 11) on an ATV ride while he was drunk off his butt. He flipped the ATV. Awesome Stepkid R. came out of it with a broken arm and wrist. When I heard about it, I was so furious, and yet thankful all the same. Those suckers are dangerous.
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Christine@Coffees & Commutes October 24, 2011 at 6:27 am

I thought about you guys all day yesterday. And I told this story to my husband who badly wants to buy an ATV. Thank goodness the boys are okay.
xo
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Sarah October 24, 2011 at 9:44 am

It can happen anywhere, with anything, at anytime. I’ve cradled seemingly small bodies that broke arms while rollerskating. I’ve helped hold a skinny boy while they checked for nerve damage after a fall on the playground. I’ve been pushed out of the room while they did a spinal tap to see if the fever was meningitis. No matter what you say yes to, no matter what you say no to, there will always be something to put your heart in a sling. Go easy on yourself, Momma.
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Barbie October 24, 2011 at 11:15 am

I am so thankful He is okay. Yes, God definately was watching out. Your poor heart. How scary!
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Kori October 24, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Your heart IS in a sling, because of people like Maggie and hundreds of others who love oyu and yours. THAT is what God is, to me-the people who show up to hold oyur hand when life goes to pot. My Sam got in a four wheeler accident several years ago; his cousing broke her arm right above the elbow and needed several surgeries and pins and whatnot-and Sam needed gravel picked out of his arms and about twenty stictches. the four wheeler? TOTALLED. Accidents happen no matter how safe we try to keep them. Be strong, be well, know you are loved.

Issa October 24, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Sigh. This parenting gig isn’t easy.

I’m really glad he’s okay.
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Becky October 24, 2011 at 6:44 pm

Oh Heather! How scary! I’m so glad everyone is OK. Wow. Just wow.

Sending you a hug! And a special one for Miles.
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Angie October 24, 2011 at 7:59 pm

Oh my stars, friend! I am so sorry this has happened, and I long for the day when hearts don’t need slings anymore. I am about to turn in for the night and will pray God’s blessings and peace and sweet sleep over your home tonight. Thankful he is okay… he is okay… he is okay.
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Gianna October 24, 2011 at 10:37 pm

I’m so glad everyone is alive and recovering.
How scary!
Praise Jesus for protecting them from something worse!
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Elaine October 24, 2011 at 11:02 pm

First of all, I’m SO VERY GLAD that it wasn’t worse and that he will be okay. I am also sorry for your Mama heart, I can only imagine. And so glad also that Asher was okay, thank God.

Poor little guy, I’m sure he was scared. And I know you were too.

Also, how did Miles get to looking like such a big boy? ;)

xoxo

Debbie/Africa's Blog October 24, 2011 at 11:13 pm

So glad he is ok!! So sorry that you went through this and that times are trying right now!!! :(
All I can say is that God never gives us more then we can handle……..and while this is easy to say from the outside, I do firmly believe it!!

Hoping you are all hanging in there!!!
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Christa October 25, 2011 at 9:21 am

Oh, Heather, I didn’t know. I’ve been off and incommunicado since Friday…

Holding space for healing, deep breathes and peace for all of you.

Love.

gretchen from lifenut October 25, 2011 at 11:13 am

So glad he is okay. There’s no doubt he had mighty, merciful protection. I hope his recovery is speedy. Kids are so amazing.
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wanda October 25, 2011 at 10:31 pm

Oh the way HE BLESSES! Thanking God for his/their protection.
My (now 18 year old college daughter) and husband had a VERY similar accident when she was 5. She still carries the scar from that day. And I, the fear!
My husband was pastoring a small country church and we had gone to lunch with a sweet older couple from the congregation. Afterwards we stopped by their house and my husband had SLOWLY taken all of our children for a little ride around their yard. We were sitting in lawnchairs just chatting when he pulled up and asked if anyone wanted to ride to the barn to put it away. My sweet Ally hopped on and when he cranked it up, it was in gear and she had her hand on the gas (all the way down). It stood up and walked on the back wheels into the side of their house. My husband (still in his suit) physically pushed that ATV off of he and my baby. It was superhuman strength. His hand was broken but the brunt of injuries were to our girl. Her face.
I was hysterical……her forehead was ripped open. Something I never want to see again! We were over an hour away from the closest town (Dothan AL) and had to drive ourselves to the ER. She was whisked right in and only God could have orchestrated all that took place. She was in surgery within hours and her precious little face almost restored to normal.
We learned such a hard lesson that day.

I pray your sweety recovers soon and your frightened heart too. From one mama to another! BIG HUG!
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