let’s talk about them

March 15, 2012

People are like moths to a flame; humans to drama. It’s like we’re so otherwise bored by our existence that we just can’t stand to refrain from flocking to the gossip, the gasping stories. Like most teen girls, I was especially fond of drama, in high school. Now, it makes my stomach hurt and then I turn from it toward my life.

If you’re not in the Internet/social media/blogging world, you aren’t aware that there’s drama here just like everywhere else and people get to truly know each other or sort of know each other and they talk about all the goings on. Like how ladies in long dresses used to talk on porches over lemonade, except now it’s a broadcast on Twitter and Facebook and blogs. No matter what the gasping topic or its validity, it’s like a gawker slow down in which the focus is suddenly taken from good things, and then everyone stops to stare at the wreckage.

If I don’t shut my laptop and turn back to my life and the people in it, I end up sitting there gawking with everyone else, especially when something like plagiarism and other confusing behavior hits the screen. I could waste hours in the rabbit hole of opinions and feelings, clicking from one tweet to another post to another post and it’s wasting time because it feels like none of my business even if the Internet is full of porches that everyone can get to in one second flat.

So I don’t want to talk about what’s happening on the web. Let’s talk about things that can seem boring but aren’t. These small things aren’t boring because if we really care, it all matters. If that makes sense. So I want to tell you that the weather has been record high and we’ve been at parks and on walks and it makes me feel so much better than gawking and also just plain better overall. Sun is the best depression fighter ever.

Miles has been asking me to take his picture lately. This is new and I get such a kick out of it. He doesn’t even care what the pictures look like, it’s like he’s just trying to be nice by allowing me to do something I love to do.  And this morning, he told me he was going to wear long-high socks and I said, Do you mean knee highs? Then we laughed.

Asher, in that first picture, is wearing pencils and gum and paper in his pocket because that’s what my Dad does and he said he was going to be like Bapa. That just makes my heart want to explode. These boys are always stealing gum from Bapa Pocket.

This girl? She’s so bookish. Or maybe I just force play glasses on her because it’s so freaking cute. But anyway, she’s doing so well. She lights up everything everywhere and her spitfire ways make us laugh and wear us totally out.

She’s getting four top teeth at once. Enough said.

This is what I would want to tell you over lemonade, if I had a porch. And then I would want to know all your stories. I really would. I could sit and listen to you for a very long time. Especially if we were on a porch swing.

I love the Internet because it brings you, with your stories, here, with my stories. It’s just like anything else. You have to choose what you’re going to make of it and stay buried deep within your life and its people.


carrien (she laughs at the days) March 15, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Super like. These are the stories that I like to hear.

My 5 y o and 7 yo lay on the floor to encourage the 19mo to lay down his big boy self for a diaper and that moment, after he lay down and turned to his sister nose to nose and they both grinned at each other and are so in love with each other is the one I’m going to carry close to me all day long.

Stephanie Hanes March 15, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Heather, I LOVE this post. I was just thinking about this topic today when I came across some other online drama in the form of technical difficulties on a deal site and I wondered, how do I get sucked into this? Why can’t I just pull myself away. And then your words jump out right here: ” It’s just like anything else. You have to choose what you’re going to make of it and stay buried deep within your life and its people.” I have a choice to make…and I am going to choose to enjoy the stories of the moments that maybe aren’t filled with drama or anything too exciting, but just everyday life…because those moments are the moments worth remembering. And I blogged about something just like that today. :)
Stephanie Hanes recently posted..Bigger Picture Moments: Slowing Down to Enjoy Life

Ellie March 15, 2012 at 12:29 pm

I adored this post… and it makes me want to lie down on the floor and wallow with your children for a while. Would that be weird? Because I really want to.

Beautifully written, as always. I caught a whiff of that drama yesterday and happily turned my head away. I don’t have room for that in my head anymore.


Ellie recently posted..Just An Update on Where My Head And My Heart Are These Days

Danielle Smith March 15, 2012 at 12:43 pm

This? Is reason #227 I adore you. You focus on what matters…. you choose to look around you and SEE the beauty, the divine, the lovely. And you make sure the rest of us do too. xoxo
Danielle Smith recently posted..Inspired To Act: The BlissDom Connection

Brandee Shafer March 15, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Right on. Cute littles, too.
Brandee Shafer recently posted..Everybody’s Fine

Andrea March 15, 2012 at 1:22 pm

I have a hard time with this sometimes. I hate when bloggers say uncomplimentary things about other bloggers. I feel defensive about the bloggers I love. It all seems so silly, why can’t I just click away when I see someone say something that I know in my heart isn’t right to say?
So many of your posts speak right to me, and how I’m feeling.
I appreciate so much the way you can get your points across without ever, ever putting down another person.

molly March 15, 2012 at 2:17 pm

I love this, Heather. I have seen what’s going on and I honestly can’t help but be sucked in. But this will be old news very soon. What really matters is what’s right in front of us!
molly recently posted..what’s next?

Galit Breen March 15, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Yes, this.

These choices that we make.

The good ones and the not so much and then back again to good.

(Always back to good, yes?)
Galit Breen recently posted..Inspired

Varda (SquashedMom) March 15, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Heather, yes, yes, and yes. The important stuff is important, the rest is just the chaff. But it is suck sparkly chaff… ooooh hard to to take your eyes off, as it dances upon the wind. But will it sustain? No. That’s the wheat, that seemingly much duller stuff. But hearty and delicious and… OK I’ve beaten THIS particular metaphor into the ground, so I’ll stop here. You catch my drift.

Love you. Llove this post. Love where your values lie, and all the truths that you speak and speak and speak (and sometimes whisper). And I like to tell my stories TO you, too, because I love the way you listen.
Varda (SquashedMom) recently posted..Wordless Wednesday: Men in Trees

Barb March 15, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Love this post. I want to stand up and cheer “Aye aye” or “Here here” or “Amen” or “Bravo” or something. I want to be part of the blogosphere equivalent of a standing ovation. I’ve been on my own little life-cleansing mission for a while, and it’s amazing how much better life is when you turn away from the drama (and hide your facebook friends who are determined to drag you in to it) and just live in the beautiful present. Even when the present is difficult and challenging, it is beautiful in it’s own way. Thanks for such an awesome post! I love when I stumble on something that refocuses me and reminds me of how glorious life is and how important it really is to tune out all the noise and distraction.
Barb recently posted..A Recipe

kendal March 15, 2012 at 7:58 pm

this morning when i read ann voskamp’s post about th eprodigal parent, i thought about how many times i’ve shushed my boys so i can read more or watch more tv or blog more….sigh. can’t get those moments back, but i can shut. the. computer. and pay attention NOW.
kendal recently posted..a humbling change of perspective

Katybeth March 15, 2012 at 8:22 pm

My newly minted 16 year old got his drivers license on his birthday last week and is still grinning ear to ear. He has taken over my Honda and for the time being the price of gas is meaningless–all in good time. In seems like yesterday I was agonizing over the first time he walked around the block by himself and came around the corner with the same grin he has on his drivers license. I am not wistful about how fast time flies…I am grateful that our time spent together just gets better and better—and that is what I would share over lemonade!
Your daughter’s studious look is adorable and your son looks like he is going to “rocket up” like a true super hero off to save the world.

Alison@Mama Wants This March 15, 2012 at 8:24 pm

There is enough in our own lives for us to sit there and take it all in. Online drama, other people’s drama – such a waste of time. Life is too short as it is!

Great post, Heather. As always, you capture what really matters.
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..You Were A Friend Once

Elaine March 15, 2012 at 10:22 pm

When I caught wind of the latest on twitter the other day I was of course curious. It’s like a train wreck, you have to look. But then I put my mind away from it because I would rather focus on all the awesomeness this community has to offer rather than the few not so good things. You know, just like you said here, but oh so much better than I just did. ;) Love ya Heather…
Elaine recently posted..My friend called the other day…

Laurie March 16, 2012 at 11:09 am

It really is awful how pulled in we can get by the train wrecks in life, in blogging, everywhere. It isn’t okay for people to behave badly, to cheat and lie, but we all have our part in making even the bad stuff so “newsworthy” that they keep the bad behaviour up.

So I was more than happy to read your lovely post. I love the idea of pretending I’m on your porch and drinking lemonade too. It’s not warm or sunny enough here for porch sitting yet, so I’ll just pretend :)
Laurie recently posted..Comment on Lessons from BlogWest by The Why Question and a New Domain Name | Just Start, Mama!

Angie March 16, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Beautiful post, Heather… I’m still here, I’m still reading. I know I haven’t commented in a while. I’m still recovering and finding it hard to write and sometimes to even comment. But I am blessed every day by your story… and isn’t that what is beautiful about this internet? Finding blessing and beauty and joy. Thank you for sharing you.
Angie recently posted..Such Joyous Work

Kori March 17, 2012 at 1:16 pm

I don’t know from drama on the web because I have enough drama in my real life without going looking for it. And it isn’t good for me, so I haven’t really made an effort to figure out the whole twitter thing, and I post mostly pictures and blurbs about my kids on facebook. *shrugs* I so wish you were here, some of these internet friends that I no longer have very many of and we could drink lemonade and coffee and talk about recovery and why these little baby girls have torn us apart and out us back together again and why oh why does my four year old DO that….you know, those boring things. thank you for your words, always.
Kori recently posted..Missing

The Mommy Psychologist March 18, 2012 at 12:42 am

It’s one of the reason that I frequently take breaks and unplug. I go on Facebook fasts and things like that. It’s refreshing. I lived in the South during Hurricane Katrina and wasn’t online for nearly two months. It was certainly an experience to remember. Once I got back on, I promised myself I would never go back to “how it was.” How quickly I forget:)
The Mommy Psychologist recently posted..Why Do I Do This to Myself?

Kimberly March 19, 2012 at 11:13 am

Your children are beautiful. I can relate that just by looking at them, you will feel completely satisfied and happy. I agree about the benefits of social media. There seems to be no lonely moment due to social media, which I am very grateful. I am one of those people who are hesitant in sharing what is happening in my life yet I respect those who are open.
Kimberly recently posted..DTS Home

mandie March 19, 2012 at 5:02 pm

love this. it can be & just plain IS, so easy to get caught up in the things of other’s lives that we’d hate for others to talk about if it were about us. Or you know, a less rambly version of what I said. I’m trying to quit looking at others & just enjoy this great life that I have. It’s what the Lord made us for, anyway. :)
mandie recently posted..Just Writing and Knitting

Louise March 31, 2012 at 9:39 pm

that’s exactly how i feel about the blogging world. like i’m standing on my porch listening to a really good story. and yet this world takes me so far away from my porch and all its limitations and boundaries, to places i would never otherwise find. i love that. i hold onto that and click away from the other. thank you for this post.
Louise recently posted..this is how you know your kid loves music

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