walking baby

May 24, 2012

she says uh oh, so soft. her first words. ones that aren’t dada or mama, how she says those all the time because she’s asked to but doesn’t seem to know who they apply to and we laugh.

now it’s just constant uh oh
and that suits her
our little bull in a china shop
spitfire

Have you ever held fire close because it asks you to pull it in
slight tilt of the head
big eyes
engulfing?

We’ve been set on fire over here…

on my birthday, I felt sick inside
no explanation
something for a therapist’s couch.
The morning brought me pain down deep and when she woke up
and I walked into her room, there she stood
on fire
ablaze and I wept
I don’t know

she is a healing fire
God put her here for my soul

and the world’s…

anything she does brings the gift of feeling that fire
so she steps carefully now with soft
uh ohs
and we cheer and she grins
and pats her belly and goes back to looking
for a way to empty the entire water cooler all over the floor
or to find another window crank to shout
uh oh to while she shakes it back and forth

OPEN!

it’s like she’s doing the same to me

OPEN, Mama

uh oh

the best parts of you are walking around your house begging you to heal. 

:::::

{ 19 comments }

Jennifer May 24, 2012 at 9:41 am

Heather, This is just a gorgeous post as is Elsie Jane. So much love!
Jennifer recently posted..Blogger’s Dance…Respect!

Kim May 24, 2012 at 9:51 am

SO beautiful Heather. These children have such an amazing ability to heal us, don’t they?

Elliott doesn’t say uh-oh, but OW! as he is hitting the cat, himself on the head, or his sister. haha!
Kim recently posted..Don’t Forget This

Kate May 24, 2012 at 9:53 am

I recall a moment of that type of pain, deep inside, when facing a mountain I just didn’t want to climb and hearing a voice in me that urged me to step up. “You’ve had it in you all along.” It said. And I listened. Then I climbed.

Love is an all consuming fire that swallows us, screaming, then raises us anew, like the Phoenix. It calls us to walk on glass, drink nails and bleed for it. Then we heal. And then we’re whole. I know it well and this is so beautiful. Love you, darling.
Kate recently posted..white bean ragout

Susan May 24, 2012 at 9:55 am

How beautiful to have healing moments with your darling little gal. The Lord knew you needed her. Bless you both. All of you.

tara pohlkotte May 24, 2012 at 9:56 am

oh, this fellow fire-daughter mama is just sitting here, grinning wide and deep. These girls that will grow us, stretch us, break us, push past us. how our hearts have been waiting for them our whole lives, no?
tara pohlkotte recently posted..Smoky Mountain Air

Ellie May 24, 2012 at 10:44 am

This takes my breath away, Heather.

Both the beauty of your words, and the fact that you have a walking baby.

Who was an acorn just, like, yesterday.

-xoxo

-Ellie
Ellie recently posted..Surrender to Survive

shayla May 24, 2012 at 12:23 pm

extraordinary, for sure!
shayla recently posted..twice.

6512 and growing May 24, 2012 at 12:41 pm

That last line. Uh oh. So beautiful. So true.
6512 and growing recently posted..homestead happenings: cherish

Elaine May 24, 2012 at 1:26 pm

I totally want to kiss her face. :)
Elaine recently posted..Sometimes, it’s just as hard as it looks…

Jessica May 24, 2012 at 1:35 pm

This is a gorgeous post Heather and I can truly relate to it. I think my children are all helping me heal, I can’t imagine being able to get out of bed without them.
Jessica recently posted..Girl Talk

Baby by the Sea May 24, 2012 at 2:35 pm

I am stuck on the line — she is a healing fire. This so resonates with me, as I feel that way about my firstborn. Love this whole poem, felt in the power of uh-ohs. I recently spent hours on your blog, reading and reading and sharing your words. I was inspired by your “Just Write” and posted today’s piece from the inspiration to just sit and write and write and post without an edit or second’s ponder. Anyway, glad the internet and mutual bloggy pals sent me here, to your words of power and poetry and love. xoxo

Ann May 24, 2012 at 2:37 pm

SOB. You beautiful people kill me up there in Minnesota in that gorgeous little homestead.

The Mommy Psychologist May 25, 2012 at 12:41 am

This is beautiful. Thank you.
The Mommy Psychologist recently posted..My Sweet Boy

Tricia May 25, 2012 at 5:56 am

So, so sweet. Little ones can be so soothing if we let them. My girl used to say ‘uh oh’ when she was first walking/talking too.

tracy@sellabitmum May 25, 2012 at 6:12 am

Oh gosh. I love you. beautiful. xo
tracy@sellabitmum recently posted..I Have A Beautiful Beaver

Jill May 25, 2012 at 8:54 am

“the best parts of you are walking around your house begging you to heal”
that landed right in the hollow part of me. And resonated so much- as I think of my growing toddler’s entry into my life and how he, too, seems to point the ways to filling me up. And I don’t mean that his being here fills me up- but his way of being in the world offers so many alternatives that I was never able to access before. Thank you for helping me think about this. Best wishes to you and your fire daughter!

Gabrielle Schwarz May 26, 2012 at 3:24 am

The best moment in our lives is when we hear our babies saying their first word and seeing them when on their first step.. :) Beautiful little ones.
Gabrielle Schwarz recently posted..South Florida Dentist

grace May 28, 2012 at 10:26 am

gorgeous. i love the last line. LOVE IT.
grace recently posted..moving…

Galit Breen May 30, 2012 at 7:22 am

So much love. Big and fierce, the way it’s meant to be. Lovely.
Galit Breen recently posted..A Storm in the Night

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: