Just Write {37}

May 28, 2012

So often I ask them how much I love them and they say to the moon and then I say and back down again and we go back and forth like that until one of us speeds up really fast and back up and back down and back up and back down…

INFINITY.

When I imagined having kids I thought I’d tell them I love them to the moon, but then I had kids and I found out the moon isn’t far enough. Infinity is the only thing forever and endless enough.

This weekend I saw these kids move from winter tones to summer kissed ones and somehow it makes them look older. And we moved the boys’ beds from apart to stacked and so they’re bunked boys now. Like the big boys that they are, apart and together. The duo and pals that run past laughing and asking what to play next. Then the over-tired and moody fighters, pushing each other’s limits like only brothers can until there are tears and so much whining.

You guys need to talk to each other about this. I say that over and over, especially in a long weekend of tattle-tale-ing.

I hate tattling to the moon and back, but I’m pretty sure they think they’re supposed to tattle until infinity. But of course, I do that thing that mothers do and I look at them at night in their bunked beds and I forgive them every single tattle and whine and fuss and fight; every mistake and disrespectful action and that’s such a big part of loving kids. I look at them, like I just did before sitting here and sometimes I feel a mix of things that are so intense they could pull me to the moon. And maybe sometimes I stand there and try to figure out how to be enough for them and for their sister, to meet all the unique needs in three hearts and bodies and I know I can’t. I’m only one person but I am their mother and that is how I’m enough, magically, even while I’m not. I’m standing there wanting to be and so my whispering insides are heard to the moon and back.

Infinity.

This is the 37th installment of Just Write, an exercise in free writing your ordinary and extraordinary moments{Please see the details here.}  I would love to read your freely written words so join me and link up below. You can add the url of your post at any time. Just be sure it’s a link to your Just Write post, not to your main pageThen please link back to this post in your post so people know where to go if they’d like to join in.) (Any links not following those two guidelines will be deleted.)

Also. Please take a moment to visit someone else who has linked up! It’s a really good way to meet new writers and get inspired by the meaning behind their moments. Word?

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