I love that game. I mean, you get to share two unique things about yourself and also make something up just for fun while coming clean within minutes. Then you get to hear interesting facts and silly made-up things about your friends and family while trying to guess which one isn’t real.
It makes people rightfully angry and sad when bloggers play this game (or something more like 3 Lies And No Truths) without letting anyone else know the game is on. We feel duped, stunned, confused and pissed off when the truth inevitably comes out. Of course we do. Drama void of truth and bearing no common sense brings on strong feelings.
Online, people have famously hidden behind screens and typed themselves into characters living something Other–the faked death of a baby that never was, too many pretend cancer stories to count and a million other Lies big and small, from letters from readers that were typed by the blogger themselves to made-up quotes from children thrown out for a reaction.
Is that the desire? To get a reaction? Surely that can’t be all it is, right? That seems too simple but most things are quite simple when you break them down and stop over-thinking. Because maybe the desire for a reaction is there because of that intrinsic need to be seen and heard and maybe there are far too many lonely people out there. But beyond that, maybe this desire for a reaction is buried deep and coming in a psychological and emotional game of lies so that the person themselves can finally feel.
No matter, it leaves us reeling and frustrated because we’re telling the truth, most of us. And we have drama that Life has handed out and it is painful stuff. We are sitting behind screens with heavy hearts because our child is dying or we have cancer and we are struggling in big and small ways. We type it out to get it out and to have it witnessed and that takes courage, to trust the Interwebs with your heart words. And whether we actually trust the great abyss that is an online readership or not, we’re holding on tight to the feeling that somehow this works for us, this public journaling of personal lives. And maybe some of us do this for some pretty messed up reasons but many of us are just sitting here, in our homes or coffee shops or sneaking moments in offices, to tell our Truths. 3 Truths And No Lies. So many of us have enough drama without having to make it up and when someone else lies it casts a shadow of doubt over us all and that’s usually what makes people so angry. That, and the fact that for every person that lies to tell the story of something horrible happening to them, there are thousands more that are experiencing the real thing and something is stolen from the harsh reality of their experience when someone pretends alongside them. I’m sure it feels like a laugh in the face. Ha! Your pain is nothing! It is so small, I can bring it to life where it doesn’t even exist!
These liars are why people have a tendency to cringe a little when they hear the word blog or blogger. I mean, if you tell someone the latest tidbit of news you feel is interesting and you’re asked where you heard it, if the answer is a blog, you might as well have said The Enquirer. Many blogs exist for shock value, for made up stories about celebrities or politicians or the dramatic false stories of sickness or trauma that never existed. These are the ones that are remembered in the public’s collective eye.
There are as many reasons for blogging as there are bloggers and for the most part, we are telling the truth. We are cheering each other on in everything from parenting to weight loss to battling cancer or healing after the death of a child. We are real people with honesty pinned to our hearts and minds and coming out behind a blinking cursor. We hate the reputation that is given us by those that cannot find Enough in their lives to make them feel Enough. If the goal of lies is “blog fame” with an increase in unique visitors and a sky-rocketing klout score, it is still born of that need to be seen and to feel. The problem is deeper and more complicated than a mistake in a moment behind a screen that snow-balled out of control.
It is about insecurity and desperation and loneliness and even if there’s a mental illness catapult, there is still a hopeless feeling attached to it all. These lies are evidence of pain and even if that doesn’t excuse it, that’s the truth.
I tell my children that the Truth is always the best answer. I hope that always flows through their minds because they’re growing up in a time where it’s easier to hide, to choose the opposite of courage and to live outside of reality. And I know what will keep them listening to their heart-guts of truth and that is loving them well and reminding them often that their worth is found in simply being here, no matter if their lives are in a season of dramatic pain or the mundane boring old repetitive ordinary.
Those seasons of “normal” are a quiet reprieve but they make some of us terribly uncomfortable. There are far greater and more respectable ways to add excitement and community to life, but there will always be people who choose lies, especially here.
Let’s give our attention to those that don’t.
There are so many more. So many. Feel free to add them in the comments.
And there are so many who are here to do good things, real things, true things…
There are so many more. Feel free to add them in the comments.
And there are so many who are following their talents and creative inspiration to bring dreams to life…
and so many more. Feel free to add them in the comments.
You can also share this post via these very social avenues: