Now I can say I’ve been to Kentucky. I was a first-timer. I can also say Louisville without pronouncing a big E in the middle while also pretending I have a mouthful of marbles or bubble gum. My friend Holli says it would be spelled like this – Luavul (but don’t forget the mouthful).
I have been practicing hard. I’m getting very close to letting go and garbling. We Minnaaahhhsoooohhhtaaahns are not terribly good at leaving out vowels…or consonants for that matter.
Anyway, ya’ll. I had a fantastic time in Kentucky. I met lovely people. I spent time with Ellie and Holli. I sat under the stars on a perfect Kentucky summer night in an amphitheater while Brandi Carlile completely astounded me with her talents and the talents of her band. I had no idea.
I screamed SHE SINGS THIS??? like three times during the concert because when I have heard her songs and seriously loved them, I didn’t know she was the one that sang them. She would come across Pandora or something and I wouldn’t stop to look at what artist I was listening to and then I got to have these beautiful surprises. Maybe I’ll try to describe that night for Just Write for tomorrow (which I’ll try to put the linky thing up for later tonight). It was nothing short of…perfect grace-ness.
Our keynote…Ellie and I feel…well…sheepish? No, maybe just…uncomfortable? with the keynote. I mean, I’m not totally embarrassed or over-thinking what came to be, it just is what it is. Or, it was what it was, and in many ways it was beautiful. But if I’m being totally honest, which I prefer, then I will tell you that not very many people showed up. And I will tell you that I sat on a bench out in the lobby after peeking at the not-very-many people right before and I felt horrible. Because we were there for St. Agnes House and I felt I had failed to bring the results that the staff had hoped for in inviting us to speak. I had to have a talk with my Ego not because I was upset about unpopularity or anything like that, but because I was making it all about me. I had to hear my friend Lisa in my head saying, This is God’s fundraiser. And a little hope lifted up and I stood up in my uncomfortable high heels that quickly came off while we spoke and we just did our thing. And our thing…you know what? Our thing ain’t half bad. We tell the truth and we read our posts and we witness the struggle of other women while they anonymously write down their pain or their biggest dreams. God will do something bigger than the number of people who came because I believe He is truth and when we tell it, it’s kind of like He jumps out of our souls and balloons into the world, exploding with all kinds of huge things we don’t even get to know about. Ka-POW! And little gifts rain down and drench the earth people.
So to speak.
I got home yesterday to a house full of people that were really really excited to see me and they are first and I’m content.
I simply just want more money for St. Agnes House. I’m going to keep believing that’s possible. Not because of me or Ellie, but because of Truth and Love and those kinds of things that I believe in because God keeps proving them to me.
I also got to meet someone who reads my blog but lives in California and I seriously LOVE that.
Today Elsie has an appointment in St. Paul so I’m going to drive back there again. (We’re two hours out of the Twin Cities and I feel like I’ve gone there ten times in the last couple of weeks because I’ve been there more like four times and I like to exaggerate but then I admit that I exaggerated so I don’t really know why I still need to do that. Ahem.) We’re trying to figure out why she continues to be uncomfortable with eating…like, while eating. Also. Prepare for TMI….
Her poop is weird. Terribly frequent and always different than the last time. uuuhmmm…
Someday she’s going to read my blog and ask me why I would want to share that. So I think I’ll just stop there. (Elsie, I promise that I won’t write about your poop when you’re a teenager. Even though I WILL know about it, since you WILL be telling me everything because we’ll always ALWAYS tell each other everything, RIGHT?)
I hope we get some answers and that there’s nothing wrong wrong, you know? We can handle food allergies. It’s a big change and something tricky to always have in mind, but we can do it and get used to it. I’m pretty sure she has at least that going on, so we’re prepared for that. I don’t want to be prepared for more than that, but it’s going to be what it is. Mostly, I just want to know what “it” is because my sweet (and terribly feisty) Elsie Jane looks so uncomfortable so much of the time. We even have video of it to show the doctor, so he/she knows exactly what we’re doing and we won’t even have to act it out.
THANK GOD. Because if we did, we’d be thrusting our hips and scowling with our eyes kind of glazing over and our limbs all stiff. (Which just sounded like a seizure but it’s not, I promise.)
Ryan and the small people did great while I was gone. I can’t tell you how thankful I am for this Daddy person who is such a trooper and tries so so hard to do right by his kids and his wife. I don’t give him enough praise. I forget sometimes and I even act like a complete fool and question whether or not he did things exactly the way I like to have them done while also cleaning every nook and cranny of our home and not leaving any laundry undone while also singing Mary Poppins’ songs and never getting impatient and giving the kids two baths a day and never never leaving that much compost in the kitchen bin for that many fruit flies to multiply.
Okay I’m not that bad, but still. He’s the best.
One of my favorite Brandi Carlile’s – a song about addiction
That Wasn’t Me (lump in my throat every time. I love sobriety.)