How the I’M BOREDS will not win…maybe…

July 18, 2013

The I’M BOREDS have reached epic levels that call for drastic measures.

Bored Level Orange, nearing Red.

We were handling said boredom claims with the usual “I don’t want to hear that!” and then moved into “For every “I’m bored” you will do one chore!” Then, because it seems that no consequences other than Severe Consequences can stave off stated claims, we moved to “Oh really! I heard an I’m bored…apparently you aren’t all that into All Your Things….go put one of your things in the Goodwill box.”

This worked for a time.

But it seems there is no sure-fire way to stop “MOOOOMY, what can I dooooo?”

Therefore, I have decided to entirely ignore any and all references to not having anything to do. I will act as if no one is talking, and maybe I’ll even pretend that I am completely alone, on a beach in Costa Rica, only a book and me, waves crashing on the shore.

BOREDshhhh

When MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY I’M TALKING TO YOU! breaks through I will explain that all I can hear is the ocean. Dear Child, your voice is the ocean. This is a compliment. Now carry on with your bored self. 

You see, my adored offspring, I feed you all the time (ALL THE TIME) and I listen to all the other things you say. I even sort of kind of maybe a little bit listen to Minecraft things. And I take you all kinds of places and I say yes more, because it’s summer. A Sonic slush? SURE! Swimming at the Y? YES! Have friends over? YOU GOT IT! And still, we both realize there are many many hours in the summer days but this does not mean that the moment I am not saying YES or listening or entertaining or feeding, you must turn to me, my face in a book or looking at my email, finally, to say the dreaded words I always know are coming.

Your I’m bored statement is equivalent to I’m starving. You are neither starving nor bored. Please trust me.

Fellow parents, it appears our “ONLY BORING PEOPLE GET BORED!” response is not working. Neither is my husband’s claim that he never ever said he was bored as a child, ever. (Because you know, back then, our parents simply let us run free through the neighborhoods and allowed copious amounts of television while we ate ding dongs and twinkies and Doritos. Today, the Internet reminds us all the time that we are to be present and play with the children and never let them out of our sight and to only feed them organic foods and never sugar.) Therefore, we must unite in our plan to ignore the children should they make any reference to their inability to entertain themselves for more than three seconds at a time. This includes everything from “what can I doooo?” to “How long until _____________?”

We will meet these words with SILENCE. It will be awesome. ARE YOU WITH ME?! No matter how exasperated they get, one of these hours days months, they will get the message. In the meantime, as our collective ignoring them hush falls over the world, not a sound will be heard from a parent anywhere. We will wait, in solidarity, for the boredom claims to pass. SHHHHHHH….

In other words, we will speak to our children once again come the first day of school.

P.S. A few minutes ago, my friend Kim and her kiddos were leaving (after I had written this) and one child who shall remain nameless pronounced, as she went out the door, “This house is so boring!”

Oh dear.

P.P.S. We did not respond to her, but we did have a good laugh. Go team.

{ 11 comments }

Ronda July 18, 2013 at 12:56 pm

Heather, I just found while packing a decorated lunch bag that was our designated, “I’m bored there’s nothing to do” bag. Inside were slips of paper with different activities for the kids to do such as, – run around the house, run to the neighbors, write down a verse of the bible, etc. Whenever my kids said, “I’m bored, there’s nothing to do” out would come the bag! I only had to use it a few times and the kids knew not to let me hear them say it. My daughter decorated the bag – she’s the crafty one. Just an idea, tailor it to your kids ages and abilities.
Blessings

Ronda July 18, 2013 at 12:57 pm

Heather, I did not mean to post my blog post. AHHHH! Please delete.

Melissa Olivero July 18, 2013 at 3:27 pm

I meet the “I’m Bored” with their choice of workbooks. It usually sparks some creative thinking about all the better things they have to do. And this summer, I haven’t minded telling them “I’m not your entertainment committee.” I also use “You can never be bored with all these books around.”

:)
Melissa Olivero recently posted..Old School Blogging: Five for Seven

Kim July 18, 2013 at 7:26 pm

Oh yes, we will NOT talk about which child said that. Obviously the one who has no problem being very FREE with her words ;) haha! I still laugh about that.

I am not only going to ignore the “I’m bored’s” but just send them over to your house ;) Oh wait, you’re going to be gone next week. Ryan wants 4 more next week, right? ;) haha!
Kim recently posted..In The Quiet

Elaine A. July 19, 2013 at 10:38 am

I had to ignore “Are we there yet” 6,532 times on our way here yesterday. It was hard. But I finally got to say yes after 7 hours so that was awesome! ;)
Elaine A. recently posted..The Last of It

Nita July 19, 2013 at 12:22 pm

I had forgotten all about that until now (thanks for nothing, lol!). My never-ending response was always “go clean your room”.

Leigh Ann July 19, 2013 at 1:30 pm

I’m already pretty good at ignoring my children, so I think I’ll be aces at this! Laughing so hard at the PS. My kids say that too, but about our own house. Every time we go to someone else’s house they say they want a new house. Probably one that’s cleaner.

Ann July 19, 2013 at 4:14 pm

Dear Child, your voice is the ocean. This is a compliment. Now carry on with your bored self.

I love you and you’re brilliant.

gena July 20, 2013 at 9:09 am

what about the fact that Boredom is A GOOD thing b/c it Leads to creative new & exciting things to do….yeah right —honestly though it is SO true that only the boring people get bored so our job as parents (i think) is to help our kids develop that filing cabinet in their heads of “things to do” – make a list of 50 items & post it on your fridge – silly stuff from painting a tree to putting Ivory Soap in the microwave —

heidi July 20, 2013 at 5:32 pm

This made me laugh. “Today, the Internet reminds us all the time that we are to be present and play with the children and never let them out of our sight and to only feed them organic foods and never sugar.” I was just complaining about the shaming of the internet the other day. According to FB I don’t do nearly enough for my children. Also, I should hold more tea parties?
I thoroughly enjoyed this post.
heidi recently posted..fancy feet: turning my tragedy into hope

Skye July 30, 2013 at 9:41 am

“apparently you aren’t all that into All Your Things” = awesome!
Skye recently posted..Battle of the Divas

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