The dog is hiding under my desk because the thunder is pounding so loud. Asher is at school, but he’s probably thinking about how God must be bowling or moving furniture, because that’s what he says thunder is.
I don’t mean to be vague or leave you with teasers, but life is so different right now than a few weeks ago. I can’t really talk about it right now, but I’m sitting here in awe of how God takes time from bowling and rearranging furniture to care for me so whole-heartedly despite my messes.
Getting sober started a very slow honesty in my life. It’s really hard, to face really big things and it has taken me over four years to be truly free of lies I was living. And I’m sure I’ll discover more, but I don’t need to know right now. I just need to keep not running from them. I can do hard things.
I am so often like the dog under the desk, hiding from the thunder of dishonest living, waiting for it to pass without really getting brave and facing my truth. That’s an exhausting way to live, and I’m feeling better than ever about coming out to let the rain wash over me, to walk through the booming bowling sounds of thunder and move forward believing I’ll survive the fear.
The dog has fallen asleep despite the rain and thunder pounding. I have my feet on her and I keep whispering to her that she’s okay. That’s how it is, when you know that despite all the fear, you are being comforted and loved. You can rest.
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This is the 131st installment of Just Write, an exercise in free writing your ordinary and extraordinary moments. {Please see the details here.} I would love to read your freely written words so join me and link up below. You can add the URL of your post at any time. Just be sure it’s a link to your Just Write post, not to your main page, and please don’t link to posts that are not freely written in the spirit of capturing moments–you know, don’t link to how-to posts, lists or sponsored posts. Also, please link back to this post in yours so people know where to go if they’d like to join in.
{ 8 comments }
You CAN rest, and I hope you do know how loved you are.
I love that description of thunder. I had never thought of it that way.
Marta recently posted..Sunkissed.
Just beautiful. That’s all I’ve got to say. :)
Elaine A. recently posted..Baby Toes & Button Noses
Oh I can so relate to this! Our circumstances not quite the same – but hard nonethelss when I see the truth. It hasn’t been four years for me, just two – but I am still feeling the weight of the lies, seeing how awful things were – but two years has done wonders and I am hoping the next two will be just as good – hard is ok as long as I don’t ignore signs and I keeping moving forward! My link up for today describes this – I hadnt read yours when I linked up!
Thanks Heather!! Big hug!!
A day later and I’m still thinking of how to respond to this. I still got nothin’, but I’m still here too.
Arnebya recently posted..Just Write: Him
freeing- to face our truth- move forward in fear. Yes, yes and yes! Even as a grandma of 10 (waiting for little one from Ethopia) i am still learning to find my voice, be heard and stop living according to what others may think. I started learning a little late!. Can’t quite remember how I got here today (someones (?) link) but I am glad I came. I remember reading your blog at some point. i’ll be a regular visiter now.
Carol Longenecker Hiestand recently posted..Taste/See
Thinking of you. Also thinking of thunder now. And rain. Which is better than thinking of snow which is what I was doing five minutes ago.
Vikki recently posted..Peep Week 2014 – Day 3
Rest here, my friend. We’ve got your back. xo
God bowling and moving furniture up there… that’s new, not sure if i’m going to tell that to my kid hehehe but that would be a fun idea…
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