I told her there are two kinds of people. Those that stick around when your life makes them uncomfortable, and those that don’t. The ones that draw back, pull away, go quiet…they don’t intend to cause pain. Maybe they just shut down, get scared and freeze. It feels like it is you that makes them uncomfortable and maybe it is, but what can you do?
I have friends that don’t stop showing up whether they know what to say or do or not. They know my life is full of weeds right now and they keep coming along, grabbing close to the dirt and pulling with all their might until they fall backward, a big milkweed in hand, roots splaying out all over their dirty faces. Then they laugh and that makes me laugh and we point at each other. Or something like that.
The pulling at weeds/not giving up analogy is about the way they call and text and come by and nudge me on facebook. Hey, how’s it going?
I don’t always answer and they don’t take it personally. They know I’m held under right now, fighting to come up for air, one foot in front of the other, stringing moments that are lived one at a time into days somehow.
In the restaurant business a server says that they’re in the weeds when they can’t seem to catch up, all the tables filling at once, people in chairs waiting on drinks and food, looking at you like you’ve forgotten something, because you most certainly have.
I started serving again recently, for some extra cash. The other night it was just me, on my second night, and the entire place filled up. All I could do was go, go, go. I wanted to run out the back door a couple of times, but I couldn’t do that. I just did the best I could with a tricky situation.
That’s what we’re all doing.
Most of the people at the tables gave me the benefit of the doubt. They looked around at the full restaurant and sat back and waited a couple of extra minutes. I got back to them as soon as I could.
That’s how most people are. They aren’t thinking of themselves so much, and I want to be like them and I’m grateful.
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{ 5 comments }
once again, you have come up with a brilliant analogy.
They sure are like weeds. When I became ill, the ones that stayed helped clear the mess while the others left only to return when things were fine.
I can’t fathom waiting tables. Lord no. I did it at a nursing home but they only had two options…and they weren’t paying…so to speak.
Kimberly recently posted..In Two Hours, It Will Be 4 a.m.
I have dreams I am in the weeds all the time. In the serving weeds. I wake up in a panic.
I am actually jealous of your new job, I miss those short term relationships with strangers for fast cash. I hope you like it there!
I love the illustration of the weeds pulling to show what good friends do for / with us!
Amy Jung recently posted..If You’re Weary of Doing Good
Praying for your while you are in the weeds! (the life ones and the serving ones!) Hope to see you soon, especially now that we are in the same state again! yippy!
And i had to laugh at my cousin’s comment “I miss those short term relationships with strangers for fast cash”… because that could mean so many things! Oh dear! ;)
In the weeds! Yes. That just makes so much sense to me. (((hugs))) Wish you’d moved home closer to me.
Amy recently posted..Seven songs that speak to me…
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