Just Write {194}

September 22, 2015

The light is different when autumn comes. It is less heavy on the air, and more sideways. That might only make sense to me, but that’s okay. We are looking forward to the colors changing, and they will, all of the sudden, when we’re not looking. We do this too, you know, you and I…we change all of the sudden when we aren’t looking. If you stare, it won’t happen. Or it will, but you won’t be able to tell.

Look away, go and do, the change will come.

I have had the feeling of floating through, and not in a good letting-go kind of way. This is more of a stunned silence. Only a creaking on the stairs, or a heavy fog over the water, no light cutting in sideways.

I want to come through to the other side now. It has been a long wait.

When you are the depressive type, you can do all sorts of things and be a little disengaged, or a lot detached, from it all. But I have gotten better before, I believe it is possible again. For now maybe we can just look a little longer, waiting for the change to happen right before our eyes, sitting right here next to each other.

Then we will sigh and turn away and keep going, through, and the light will come through sideways. You cannot shut off this light and maybe it has been blocked but turn away and the shadows will move because we count on change. We must.

This is Just Write, a free-writing exercise in which you sit down with no writing agenda, no pushing for a theme. Watch the details of your stories ignite their own meaning from within:

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Amber September 29, 2015 at 9:15 am

You described what it’ s like to deal with depression. I’ve been dealing with it since I was young. In fact my youngest memory of it is age 6. It’s hard. Specially when you don’t have support needed. It’s taken a long time to get to a point in my life where I could finally start healing and breaking through the darkness.

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Heather September 29, 2015 at 9:50 am

Thank you for your comment, Amber. I’m here with you, fighting back.

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