a million gifts

April 29, 2011

Jen’s Story: Part One
Jen’s Story: Part Two

I shared some of Jen’s story (above), of her life and struggle with cancer, months ago here in this space. At that time Jen was still under-going treatments and my times over coffee with her were full of her energetic spirit, her light and her grace.

In these last few months and then weeks, as Jen’s body failed her and it was getting harder and harder by the day, I would pray for her peace over and over again. And my heart would break for her goodbyes.

Jen passed away earlier this week and her funeral is today.

There are so many people feeling this loss, so many who were very close to this woman of vibrant joy. I’m hurting for them and in that place where I wish I could say something that would relieve some of that pain.

I can’t, but I will still pray peace peace peace…for all of them

Today I want to share an excerpt from an email that Jen sent me. When I feel the pull of the mundane things, the sometimes annoying daily grind, I want to always remember what Jen said here…

“I have learned to appreciate the simple, every day things and to seize opportunities that come to me. I wouldn’t trade knowing how much I am loved by those around me for anything. I love that. Actually… I love my life. Cancer has taught me how to live… really live. As backward as it may sound… I’m thankful. Yeah, it’s hard. It’s really hard. But my life is good and full. And I’m thankful for that.”

There are a million gifts that Jen has left for us.  This is one of them, the reminder of what it must be like to see everything through the eyes of constant appreciation.  No, we can’t do that perfectly, but I’m so grateful for the perspective that Jen has brought to my life.

I remember Jen telling me how much she loved buckling her daughter Kaiya into her car seat, how that simple moment was another one-on-one memory for her and for her little girl.  I think of that now, in our personal daily grind while I wrangle and direct these boys of mine, and I know that all of it is a gift. I will always know that more fully because of Jen.

 

Jen, you are so loved.

Luke and Kaiya, peace peace peace to you. I’m so sorry.

 

{ 18 comments }

nicole April 29, 2011 at 8:20 am

I’m sorry for your loss. I’ll say a prayer for the family. I can’t even imagine the sorrow.
nicole recently posted..The Pest that Wasnt

SoberJulie April 29, 2011 at 8:35 am

Oh Heather I am truly sorry for the loss of your friend, I am praying for you all here.
SoberJulie recently posted..Today Im not pretty

Sarah April 29, 2011 at 8:44 am

peace
peace
peace

Kim Mokosso April 29, 2011 at 8:51 am

Life is so good, but at times so hard and so unfair. My heart goes out to Luke and their daughter. May God bless them with peace and warmth as they live on without her.

Dawn April 29, 2011 at 8:52 am

Hi Heather,
I did not realize you had written about Jen – I know her Mother.
When Jen writes “cancer has taught me how to live” – you cannot believe the magnitude of those words. Her passing Monday truly has touched so many lives.
Sometimes,
there just aren’t
the words
~d
Dawn recently posted..Grace Always Waits

JC April 29, 2011 at 9:50 am

peace, peace, peace

Erin April 29, 2011 at 11:57 am

I am breathing back big choking ugly tears right now. I know this. I just lost someone to breast cancer, the wound still so very raw.
Peace to you, Heather.

H-Mama @ Family Team April 29, 2011 at 12:10 pm

oh, my mommy heart. yes, peace, indeed.

Jan April 29, 2011 at 2:41 pm

I know so many people who say that their greatest fear is that something will happen to one of their children, but mine has always been that something would happen to me and that I wouldn’t be able to be there for all the little events and conversations and experiences that make up life.

So sorry for your loss, her family’s loss, especially her daughter’s loss.

Ann's Rants April 29, 2011 at 8:23 pm

A million gifts is right. May her memory be a blessing that keeps reminding us.
Ann’s Rants recently posted..This happens when I try to mommyblog

anymommy April 29, 2011 at 8:31 pm

Peace, peace, peace. I’m so sorry, Heather. All my love.
anymommy recently posted..Then and now

Hyacynth April 29, 2011 at 10:14 pm

Oh. My heart hurts for her family. And her friends. I pray for peace, too, for her loved ones. I was hoping, just hoping with all of my heart, when I first read her story in October, that she would have many more years with her daughter.

Tracie April 30, 2011 at 12:23 am

I’m so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and for her family and friends. Peace. Peace. Peace.
Tracie recently posted..She Helped Me Become the Woman I Am Today

Frelle April 30, 2011 at 11:07 am

i am so sorry for your loss. so very sorry you are in pain, but grateful to be able to know, and to pray for you and for her husband and daughter. thank you for sharing some of her story with your readers, so we can know about her too.
Frelle recently posted..Chick Fight

Maggiedammit April 30, 2011 at 4:28 pm

I’m so, so sorry.

Thank you for honoring her.
Maggiedammit recently posted..Melissa

Kristenkj May 3, 2011 at 5:18 am

I am so sorry. She sounds like a wonderful person…wish I had known her.
Kristenkj recently posted..Little Miss Magic

erin from swonderland May 4, 2011 at 8:00 pm

i can’t even of what to say. i am sorry you lost her and i’m sorry her family lost her. it’s so hard, missing people.
erin from swonderland recently posted..some new cheer around the house

Ash May 9, 2011 at 5:26 pm

Heather – it has been so long since I’ve come by. I apologize for that. I was doing the math and figuring time was coming close. I came hoping to find news, but not this. I’m so very sorry. So very sorry. The reason for my being out of blogging is that I lost a friend since college to cancer, ALL, in January. She left behind a wonderful husband and two children, now 10 and 12. It sucks. It sucks on the lowest level possible. I see mean, evil people in this world, and I want to kick them in the shins because they still get to breath oxygen.

I’m so very sorry for your pain, her family’s pain, her pain. You’re in my thoughts and prayers of peace.

Love, Ashlei
Ash recently posted..A different perspective

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