It was a long day with so much sugar in it. Jelly beans, pastel ones, everywhere and chocolate eggs and Peeps. The boys landed flat on their backs on the couches when the company started to leave, head and stomach aches totally taking over. Elsie zipped around, bouncing off the walls, with her cheeks full of stolen jelly beans like a little chipmunk. At bedtime it was a crash and burn situation. There were several requests for more water, more hugs, more stories, more time. The sugar needed to finish doing them in. The two youngest fell silent first, which is almost always the case. Miles has these big blue eyes that stare into the dark longer, with all kinds of activity behind them, his mind zinging and zapping. His synapses are more active than all three of my sugar-over-dosed kids combined. He went to the bathroom, again. He came to get me [...]
We pulled things down from the shelves in the storage room downstairs, holding them out to Grandma, What’s this? Do you want this? Goodwill? Do you want to give it to someone in the family? She answered over and over and then went upstairs for a while, to sit down and watch basketball. Her name hit the top of the list of all who are waiting to live in apartments at a lovely place in a city nearby. Two of her sisters live there now. My Grandma, she is too well to go to assisted living and ready to not have the whole house to herself anymore. It’s time to move away from the house. We found a box of things Grandpa used to have at the lumber yard, back when it was his, years ago. The guys would come and hang out there. I remember sorting nails in little containers all in [...]
My Grandma hopes to move into an independent living place that is attached to an assisted living place. We checked it out last spring and loved that it had a movie theater and yoga classes, but mostly we love it now because two of my Grandma’s sisters live there. For now she’s on the waiting list and the waiting list isn’t budging. That means she stays in her home of so many years and doesn’t really get to know when things will change. Maybe this was the last Christmas Day in that house, maybe it wasn’t. We don’t know yet, and still I tried to decide if I should cry or not. I went downstairs, to the basement with the ping pong table, by myself at one point and stood looking around. I could hear the mumbling of conversation above me, through the floor. An occasional burst of laughter and the stomping quick-feet [...]
I’m sad. Which makes very little sense considering I’m excited and happy. I spent the day with my cousin and her groom on Saturday, taking pictures. Their wedding took place at a beautiful camp on a beautiful lake surrounded by beautiful fall leaves. My cousin, she is almost strangely similar to me. She’s creative and sensitive, giggly and anxious, friendly and maybe a little scared. Her eyes are the brightest blue; they matched the lake in the background. She is many years younger than I, and her youth shines from her skin and her smile and her hair is the most beautiful blonde flowy hair. When I was her age, I downed Dr. Pepper like it was water and furiously chewed the left over ice cubes. Amby does the exact same thing. I’m working on editing some of the pictures from her day so I can send them to she and Michael before [...]
these two photos were taken almost exactly one year apart. we had a birthday party for EJ yesterday and she had the best day of her life. So much attention and cake. My girl, she loves to be the center and she now knows that most every girl is bound to love cake. She ate that stuff like it was her first and last meal. One thing I know for sure about her? She doesn’t hold back. we had a bounce house and she had no fear about the whole thing, she just laughed and laughed her deep guttural giggly laugh like Asher’s. then Daddy bounced her up and down in our small pool and she slipped around and laughed even harder, bare naked and splashing so hard everything everywhere was getting wet. then she crashed super hard at 6:45pm and then woke up four times in the night. I’ll take this [...]
“Have nothing in your home that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.” – William Morris All last week I was slowly and sporadically preparing for a garage sale. (In other words, for five minutes here and there while juggling children (literally, in the air) I went through closets and put price tags on things that we haven’t used. That always adds up to a lot.) Then a friend of mine came over the day before the sale and couldn’t believe how giddy I was. She said she could see how happy I was to be having a garage sale in my face. Yes. I’m a giddy garage sale-having big nerd. It’s a combination of things, my friends. Purging. Cash. Purging. And the psychology of garage sales. You know, the fascinating people and conversations you have that can only come about because of strangers entering your yard, driveway [...]
sometimes there’s something about a picture that just speaks to you and you just love it so much. I don’t care that there was too much light in the background, I think it gives it the perfect glow for the way Auntie Kay is loving Elsie… OWL BUTT! and then when the cousins are walking, there’s just something about watching them from behind, keeping up, listening, loving… Asher said, When I walk, my booty shakes!!! Elsie’s tongue-ish grin and my Dad’s hand. Enough said… I was being blinded by the sun, my eyes watering in the most perfectly warm-ish Thanksgiving day ever… Pumpkin pie and then sale ads from the paper. There are so many things in there that we don’t need for like half off. (Pssst…black friday is not my favorite thing. no offense.) They named the neighbor’s horse Dixie and then they fed her a lot of grass. It was heaven… [...]
She doesn’t fit her age, I think. She’s still a sprite of a thing, fast footed through the hall of the house. Her body is aching these days though, all over she says, but she makes it look easy. I know it’s not even close to easy. Her arms swing a little at her sides and her posture is better than mine. She heads to the kitchen to get apple crisp ready for us. I wonder if it hurts her knees or hips to walk and her fingers and wrist to serve up the crisp. My Grandma, she makes the best apple crisp. And lefse, for the record. We sit down and look out the window and she tells the story of her half sister, the one she didn’t know until later in life. How their mother had her very young, before she was married, and she was a blue baby. She says, [...]
he won’t be the bad guy. Miles asks, can you be at least half bad and he says emphatically NO. I’m good. he is. he is so good. he wants his sister close and he takes each of her knuckles one by one those teeny tiny knuckles between his fingers and he presses softly smiling his cousin gets hurt and he brings it up all day wasn’t that sad when that happened, mama? yes it was, sweetie that’s him. he is sweetness. He is four. We got to keep him, despite every fear and he is so much more than the boy who had brain surgery when he was one and the boy who has a shunt and tubing through his body and the boy with the adorable glasses. He is The Noggin but of course he is Asher. Everything about him is simply who he is, just parts making up the most [...]
They went back and forth. Asher said their sister was going to be Superman Girl and Miles tried to correct him with, No Asher. It’s SuperGIRL. He’d say, OH! and then say it “wrong” again. Superman Girl. I love eavesdropping. Yeah, we’re all over here just trying to figure this out. The beautiful reality is slowly settling in…There’s a girl cooking in my belly right now and there’s no way I don’t know that because the ultrasound tech kept saying “See that little hamburger bun?!?” over and over and over… (I will never hear “a bun in the oven” quite the same way ever again. Just saying.) Yup, there’s the girl anatomy! WE GET IT! WE GET IT! I mean, we were already so surprised and we just wanted to keep looking at each other saying “WOW” and “WOW” and “NO WAY” and then she just kept saying hamburger bun. Anyway… That is [...]
I am from the wooded countryside, Little Debbie snacks and Grandma’s homemade toast with cinnamon and sugar. I am from a gray split level with a basketball hoop and a crunchy gravel driveway. I am from The Cosby Show and The Smurfs. Dad and Grandma – two weeks ago (Kensington school) I am from lilacs and sunflowers, oaks and pines and crawly things. I am from where the lakes begin and Runestone country. I am from lefse and lutefisk, but I never eat the smelly lutefisk. I am from cribbage players and golfers, ice cream lovers and hot dish makers. I am from Colleen and Dale and Helen and Glenn. I am from humor with loud bursts of laughter and long naps in the recliner. I am from work hard and overcome and trials that make you stronger. Mom’s childhood home I am from pull yourself together and you always belong. I am [...]
On Friday morning at BlogHer there was a 5K through Central Park, honoring Tanner of Tutus for Tanner. Tanner himself saw us off from the hotel lobby, and then as you can see, we sprinted the entire way. I am so in love with this picture. It is friendship and connection and it is spreading the word for a good cause. I have my hand on Allison, my fellow Minnesotan blog friend. She is one of the kindest people I’ve ever had the honor to know, so I’m really glad my hand is on her. Hopefully her goodness wore off, adhering itself to my palm a bit. ~~~~~ For the rest of this week through next Wednesday my family (extended and immediate) has the use of a cabin on a lake. We’ve already been making use of it this week. I have to show you some of the photos from out there because [...]
*this just in: I wrote something new for Mama Manifesto and it’s up over there today. It hopefully paints a picture and sends a message and resonates. If not, it’s just about my own bouncy brain and crap television. See you there. I mean, if you go over there. Nicely. And also: Miles and Asher had a combined birthday party recently. Both sides of the family were there, so people who don’t know each other that well from either side were all there. (And yes, it was quite redundant of me to explain that.) Above, you will see Cousin O, to the right, with the squirt gun. And at the far left is Cousin M. Cousin O and Cousin M have rarely been around each other. Which brings me to this conversation between Cousin M (left) and an adult family member. Cousin M – Is O a boy or a girl? (see long-haired [...]
Modern June Cleaver, no? We’ve been busy with birthday parties over here, one last night for my mom, as she turned 60 (and holding, as she likes to say) and one for our boys, because their birthdays are just two weeks apart. I’ve got some great photos for sharing here another day. Tonight I’m just too exhausted for the uploading. In the past I handled the stress of having company, lots of company, and trying so hard to keep everything impossibly perfect, by drinking. Sometimes I’d drink sneakily, and sometimes I’d drink right after the sober company left, to cope with my insecurity and need to people please. Without that option, I’m learning not only new ways of coping, but to accept and relax. To expect less of myself and simply live the moments, believing it’s all good enough simply because my intentions are good, even if there’s nothing close to perfect.I cleaned, [...]
Miles – 4th of July parade R & S – 4th of July dinner at Nanny and Bapa’s our very own fireworks show it was obviously quite riveting {These photos are brought to you by You Capture at I Should Be Folding Laundry} And now for your Asher update:First of all, thank you all so much for your comments and emails, your thoughts and your prayers. We feel them.Asher hasn’t had much success with that whole clearing out thing, despite our dietal (totally a word) efforts. So we’re giving it until the end of the day, hoping for a fireworks-like explosion. *ahem*Hopefully that will solve the issues with his valve tube, things will start flowing as they should, and his headaches will disappear. If there’s no luck with the clearing out, I plan to call the doc in the morning.The first thing Asher said this morning when he woke up was that when [...]
Sunday~January 3, 2009 My Grandma turned 80 on New Year’s Day. We had a party for her yesterday in the basement of her church in her small Minnesota town. I had prepared some words to say but found it hard to get them out after my cousin read something before it was my turn. I was all weepy because I heard a story about my Grandma I had never heard before, one that moved me and reminded me what family is all about, what unconditional love looks like. The words that were shared were written by my cousin, Brent. On her 80th birthday, he described Grandma and thanked her for something that I’ll always remember when I look at the people in my life, especially my boys…no matter what. Brent was diagnosed with schizophrenia in his early twenties. He has lived through the nightmare of mental illness ever since, trying to overcome the [...]
Wednesday~August 5th, 2009 I have this amazing friend. I met her right here in my kitchen almost two years ago. She is one of those people that has this way about her, a grace and charm I wish I had the words to describe. She inspires, that’s what she does, not only with her paintings and writings, but simply by being who she is. She’s beautiful, with her radiating smile and heart. On top of all that, she’s the kind of woman that is so down to earth and real, you can’t even hate her for all that other stuff. She just gets you, with her open mind and sensitive spirit. I’ve gotten to know this woman through her words, and even though we’ve never met outside the computer in my kitchen, I love her. I want to tell you (and show you) what she did for my family. I go out to [...]
Monday~July13, 2009 This one is for my Aunt Elsie, my Grandpa’s lovely sister, and my friend… We walked over hills, following a path of dirt and rocks. We wore flip flops and sandals and watched our steps closely in the minefield of cow pies. We were on a tour, sightseers of our own history. I could feel my Grandpa there, in the place where he grew up, on this beautiful land where his roots were planted. I could finally see all of the stories he used to tell me of the beauty and simplicity of this place. He would say that my Great Grandma, his mom, would call him in from the yard for dinner. She’d say, “You’ve got ball in the head!” And he did. Oh, how he loved baseball. Even as his memory left him all those years later, his vacant eyes still lit up with news of a Twins win [...]
Monday~June 1, 2009 We had a really good time on our trip, see? (That’s me, having a really good time.) Anyway, moving on…. What? You’re confused? Let me explain… I said I wanted to do a puzzle on our short little vacation. AND I said I wanted the puzzle to have a lot of faces on it. I came across this puzzle (while out searching for facey puzzles), and my wish was granted… Yeah, lots and lots of faces. (I was possibly entirely too excited about this.) I would like to say here (for the record) that my sister Shelly and I did this puzzle almost entirely on our own. My Dad can pretend that he had a really big hand in it and all that, but he did not. He simply held a puzzle piece in his hand as I was about to finish the whole ginormous thing, and then plopped that [...]
Posted on Saturday~February 14, 2009 My Mom and Dad~ 40 years ago Mom Dad Mom and Dad~40 years laterMy parent’s actual anniversary was in December, around the time of Asher’s surgery. So we’re having a belated party tomorrow in their honor. As I made a DVD filled with pictures through all the years, I got to thinking about what an amazing thing it is to spend 40 years with someone, sharing so many memories and holding the same experiences in your heart. I’m so thankful for the years my sister and I have had with our Mom and Dad. We’ve hit our inevitable bumps in the road, but my parents have always been there on the other side of everything life brings, in their beautiful house in the country, the door always open. Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!(late.) Mom, please forgive me. How could I not share this one?(hee hee hee)HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! [...]
Posted on Saturday, December 27th, 2008 I love having kids for many reasons. One of them is that, like most people, I love to be entertained. There’s nothing more entertaining than children, no? Life is full of surprises with these little crazies in my life. With them, Christmas travels and festivities never ever have a dull moment. (Even if I would really really like a dull moment every now and again.) For instance, right before we were leaving for Christmas at my parent’s house, bags packed and boys in the car, I was running around looking for pacifiers. I’m a wise mother, and I knew we would need at least five for the car trip. That way, when Asher threw the third one on the floor just for kicks and then cried, I’d still have two pacifying pieces of plastic up my sleeve. Or in my pocket. But I couldn’t find any, of [...]
Miles went on his first solo trip this week. Well no, not ALONE. (Picture that-Miles off by himself, seeing the sights in New York City, hopping on the subway and grabbing a hot dog from a vendor.) But he did go on a little trip without Mommy and Daddy. My sister brought him home with her after she was here for Asher’s appointment on Thursday. He stayed one night at her house with his cousins and another night at Nanny and Bapa’s with cousin Max. He had a great time. When he got home yesterday, I was so excited to see him, I had to hold myself back from running to the car, snatching him out, and hugging him for the rest of the day. Oh, how I love that boy. Being away from Miles was a totally new thing for me. The whole time he was gone I kept thinking I forgot [...]
Halloweeny ’08G’pa D. helped Asher carve his first pumpkin. Asher thought he should really get his hands on that thing. PRONTO. So he had the honor of holding the top. As you can see, he thought that was very VERY cool. Then he chewed on it for awhile. He was quite pleased. Then we went next door to visit The Best Neighbors in the Whole Universe. Miles and Asher got some great loot. (Asher was going to be a puppy, but I couldn’t find his costume. So we cut the legs off the fireman costume from last year. Yes, I’m currently quite disorganized, I lose costumes. But I’m no fool. A scissors is good for lots and lots of things.) (Oh! I’m sorry, I forgot to tell you. (I’m sure you can’t tell.) That’s Miles, not the actual real Spiderman.) Then we were off to city hall for the annual Halloween bash where [...]
It was a crazy-busy whirlwind weekend for the EO family. You see, my Dad turned 60! So we had a visit from Nanny and Bapa. We went places and did things. I only made a complete fool of myself once (that I can remember). I’ll get to that in a moment. First, I must say Happy Birthday, Dad!I love you like crazy, even if I did make that joke. You know, the one where I said I needed to practice feeding you, now that you’re 60. That was uncalled for. Please forgive me.But try to remember that I must have gotten my sense of humor somewhere…Look how young this man is! He can’t be 60! (say that in the comments, he’ll like it.) Miles got to ride with Nanny on this way cool carousel.Watching made me want to puke. Am I 60?___________________Then we were off to Cousin O’s 4th Birthday party.Or no, wait.We [...]
Does it mean I’ve officially lost my mind if I have moments here and there of thinking it would be a good idea to have another baby? What a difference a year can make. Last year at our annual day at the orchard, I was a complete wreck as the mother of a colicky newborn and a toddler. A toddler who was very mad at the colicky newborn for ruining his life. Let’s just say it totally stunk. Here I am (last year), pretending to have a lovely timewhen I was really pretty much completely insane. (niece, E also pictured) Yesterday, we were back with Ryan’s family for our annual trip to the orchard. It was absolutely beautiful outside. We had a ridiculously good time. I wasn’t pacing around with Asher attached to me, praying that he wouldn’t start screaming. He was content, maybe even peaceful. It was a beautiful thing. And Miles [...]
Yesterday I had lunch with a friend. We met at noon and it was almost 3:00pm before we knew it. We laughed and joked and wavered between silly stories and serious heart to hearts. This is a new friendship, but meeting this new friend has been an immediate blessing to my life. We can talk like we’ve known each other for a very long time. I absolutely love that. We got into a conversation about the stress and strain of life. How it never seems to get easier. My friend admitted feeling angry about that. Confused. Frustrated. Wanting more answers. I felt like what she was asking me was, “where is God?” Because even if you’re a person who looks on the bright side, in awe of the good things in life, there is still that question that arises when things are hard. Or when it seems the “Big Guy Upstairs” has gone [...]
I’m sitting in a motor home backstage at Sonshine Music Festival. I am dog tired. I made more turkey and vegetable wraps for the artists today than I could count. Yesterday I cut up about a zillion apples. For the artists. For a fruit salad. Then I was a part of a human assembly line, passing boxes from one refrigerator truck to another because the first truck broke down and quit it’s tiring, “keep the food cool” job. It was a random and beautiful moment, as simple as it was. All of the team working together, laughing and talking while hoisting boxes of food in our attempt to save the day. All the while there’s the thump thump thump of the bass coming from main stage, and the roaring of the crowd, anxiously shouting for their favorite band to come on and rock the party. (If you’re wondering what I’m talking about, this [...]
I have been away from the computer for two days. I thought that I would take a break to gauge how addicted I am. Turns out I’m not that addicted, barely gave it a thought. Then again, I was busy. Maybe if I was stranded somewhere with no hope of an internet connection and not much to do, I’d lose my mind. I’ll have to try that sometime. (But I don’t really need to, since I’m totally not addicted.) Over the last few days, hanging with the family, we’ve played a few rounds of the game Loaded Questions. What a hoot. It’s a very simple game with lots of funny personal questions. You just have to guess who answered what. And laugh. That’s all you have to do. Great game. When the question, “If you had to dispose of a dead body, how would you do it” was asked, there was nothing but [...]
Miles’ shooting stars did their job. Yesterday afternoon my grandpa Glenn was shot straight to Heaven, just like Miles suggested. My family and I were all there, singing to him as he left. It was a beautiful and unforgettable thing to be a part of. We are relieved that he can finally be done with his many years of struggling. But we’ll miss him. I don’t really know much about my great-grandparents. I hope that reading this will teach my boys a few things about their Great-Grandpa Glenn:He was the most faith-without-a-doubt person I have ever known. He loved ice cream.He acted like he might stop breathing if he didn’t lavish love on his family.He was truly funny and his whole body would shake when he laughed. He loved to sing.He had the hugest garden I have ever seen. My favorite-raspberries. He called his wife “my beloved.” He really stunk at Wheel of [...]
This morning I called my mom to find out what time she and my dad would be getting here. The plan was for them to come and spend some time with us for Mother’s Day. But my mom had received a call that my grandpa, who lives in a nursing home nearby our house, was not doing well. So instead of spending the day shopping and eating, we spent the day by my grandpa’s bed. Before I left the house, Miles was drawing and I asked him if he wanted to draw a picture for great grandpa. I explained that he’s extra sick and it would be nice to make him something, even though I knew that my grandpa is far past the point of being able to enjoy the scrawling artwork of his great grandson. After he was done with the picture I asked what it was and he said, “It’s shooting [...]
