So then there was that ABC Nightly News with Diane Sawyer show. It’s weird to see yourself on TV, friends. I’m starting to get middle-aged lady jowls. (Just to keep it real around here, I want you to know that I just tried to make jowls, “jowels”, for a really long time and I could not for the life of me remember how to spell it right.) (Ahem.) Anyway, after the nightly news gig, people came over here from abc.com, and then they sent me emails or they clicked over to Shining Strong, a non-profit for people struggling with addiction. That’s why I let people see my jowls on national TV. All joking aside, this really is what matters. It’s terribly common for a woman to find herself overly dependent on wine. I hear from a lot of people who share their stories with me and every single one (even if I can’t […]

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7:18. (OMG HOW did that happen? Oh no no no….) I sit up fast and get dizzy, stand up, walk slanted to the bathroom. (Okay, I’ll call to the boys to get dressed while I get Elsie out of the crib and I’ll just bring her to preschool in her pajamas and apologize and I have to make coffee. This is Monday. I think.) Bathroom. No details needed. You’re welcome. (That was a weird dream. Why would I be dreaming about a grandmother sinking into a mud pit? She was one strong woman though, the way she pulled herself out of there. It’s too bad I was missing part of that Mumford and Sons concert to watch her…wow, I was really close to Mumford, and the sons, that was so cool. BIG BEARDS….dreams are ridiculous. But I must REALLY want to see M & S in concert…of course I do…) Rushing downstairs, apologize […]

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Last week, after my friend Ann wrote a hilarious school supplies list on Ann’s Rants, I left a comment on facebook for her, mentioning that I didn’t even have the school supplies list yet. This got me thinking something like, I should probably figure out how to get a school supply list for both Miles and Asher. Yeah, I’m quick like that. School starts August 26th here, and we have a couple of busy weeks ahead of us, so after Ann’s post reminded me to print out the lists, I headed to Target solo as soon as the opportunity presented itself. I love Target shopping alone and on this day I had a plan. I can do this quickly, I told myself. A kindergarten and second grade list can’t be that complicated…I know! I’ll pretend like I’m in a race! Super Target Sweep!  (Just so you know, before I started in on the […]

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Never has this little old corner of the worldwide interweb been so busy. After a post I wrote about my boys LOVING Minecraft, I received more feedback than pretty much ever before, that I can recall. It’s like suddenly the human masses were walking the streets of New York and I was the corner Starbucks. Everyone came in! Skinny hazelnut latte! Extra foam! Extra hot! No whip!  There was so much yelling! And everyone wanted my view of Minecraft to be just like theirs, and many didn’t seem to notice that I was joking around.  Strangely, after all of the shouting faded away, I learned to appreciate how much my boys love Minecraft. I mean, I have to admit, I still don’t want to play it and I will probably never fully understand it, but I’m certainly more educated and I dig its educational value. The gamers and even the teenagers and the […]

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The I’M BOREDS have reached epic levels that call for drastic measures. Bored Level Orange, nearing Red. We were handling said boredom claims with the usual “I don’t want to hear that!” and then moved into “For every “I’m bored” you will do one chore!” Then, because it seems that no consequences other than Severe Consequences can stave off stated claims, we moved to “Oh really! I heard an I’m bored…apparently you aren’t all that into All Your Things….go put one of your things in the Goodwill box.” This worked for a time. But it seems there is no sure-fire way to stop “MOOOOMY, what can I dooooo?” Therefore, I have decided to entirely ignore any and all references to not having anything to do. I will act as if no one is talking, and maybe I’ll even pretend that I am completely alone, on a beach in Costa Rica, only a book […]

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Dear Miles and Asher, I need you to know something. I need you to know that I just can’t talk to you about this game. I don’t understand Minecraft at all and I have no desire to try. Sure, I want to be interested in what you’re saying to me, but I just can’t. Because you say things like, I built a chair! I saw a chicken! I got an egg, ha ha ha!!! and my eyes get that unfocused look because I’m staring past you and my brain has shut down. I can’t help it. I’m only human. That’s why I say Uh huh with no feeling, over and over. I’m not listening at all. You probably can tell, because you’re smart. Whether or not you love this game, please know I still think you’re very smart. Lots of smart people do things that make no sense and then talk incessantly about […]

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7 QTs

January 18, 2013

7 Quick Takes 1. I shaved my legs recently. It’s winter! 2. It’s going to be almost FORTY degrees today. Minnesota balm-y. This means I’m going to bring a bunch of stuff to Goodwill and the recycling center and go get groceries and go the post office and clean the chicken coop and roll around naked in the snow. 3. Okay, I’m totally not going to roll around naked in the snow. It may be forty degrees, but the snow is not. Also. Naked. No. I prefer layers and layers. I especially wore layers while out hanging signs for submissions for Listen To Your Mother. (By the way, the deadline is now Feb. 15th, and if you’re in the Twin Cities area-ish, we’d LOVE to hear your story!) 4. Miles had the stomach flu this week. So far the rest of us have not. It’s a flu season miracle, if you ask me, […]

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I’m joining in with Jennifer and telling you 7 update-ish sorts of things in very short story form. Ready?  Go. The other day Asher and I watched a chicken hawk nearly capture one of our beloved chickens in its mean claw feet. I spooked it when I freaked out, pounding on the patio door. (Dear chicken, you’re welcome.) Now I’m paranoid. I keep thinking I hear a hawk swooping through the air while making that unmistakable hawk caw-shriek. There’s probably a metaphor in there somewhere. I wrote a post about generational faith, my mom’s parents and how they were so different from me, but we’re the same. It’s over at A Deeper Family and now it’s featured on Five Star Friday, which is such an honor.  A long time ago, my friend Cecily was at a conference and she tweeted something about it being important to have a newsletter. I was all, huh. […]

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Pinterested

October 18, 2012

I was hungry and pinning things on Pinterest. I started pinning every food pin that looked even slightly tasty to me. It didn’t take long before I was salivating and oooohing and aaaahing and wishing I was eating all the pins. Crock pot chili- done in 20 minutes! Pumpkin cookie cheesecake melt-away touch-of-cumin bars! Fig Hazelnut Ricotta Crispy Maple Crostinis! Seven layer dip with 7 new layers for dipping! The pretty pictures! Then I had an idea. Instead of salivating and pinning, I could try… doing the pins! Instead of just collecting them! You know! DOING them! I could click open something from my foodies board and I could GO MAKE that SOMETHING IN THE KITCHEN!   So that’s what I did. I got up from the chair and I made things! From now on, I’m going to DO the things I PIN. At least the doable things, anyway. Of course, I can’t […]

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Just Write {57}

October 15, 2012

My husband comes through the door, shuffling in his slippers. He asks me what I’m still doing up. I’m normally an “early to bed, early to rise” kind of sleeper. I don’t know. I was looking at houses for sale and it’s addicting. I let the iPad fall from my hands to the covers on my belly and yawn while he climbs in and puts his CPAP machine over his goatee, mouth and nose. I giggle. I always do, I can’t help it. I feel like I’m sleeping with a robot or a character out of Star Trek. He has to sort of yell from under the mask for me to hear his seemingly far-away voice… Stop it!   Suddenly we’re these parents of three kids and we’re nearing 40 and he has a sleep machine and my favorite thing to do is online real estate searching. I love it. It’s getting too […]

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an update-ish sort of thing

August 13, 2012

  Now I can say I’ve been to Kentucky. I was a first-timer. I can also say Louisville without pronouncing a big E in the middle while also pretending I have a mouthful of marbles or bubble gum. My friend Holli says it would be spelled like this – Luavul (but don’t forget the mouthful). I have been practicing hard. I’m getting very close to letting go and garbling. We Minnaaahhhsoooohhhtaaahns are not terribly good at leaving out vowels…or consonants for that matter. Anyway, ya’ll. I had a fantastic time in Kentucky. I met lovely people. I spent time with Ellie and Holli. I sat under the stars on a perfect Kentucky summer night in an amphitheater while Brandi Carlile completely astounded me with her talents and the talents of her band. I had no idea. I screamed SHE SINGS THIS??? like three times during the concert because when I have heard her […]

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We only got into one fight on our road trip. What? You didn’t know that we fight? Of course we do. We’re two human married people with three small children, a dog, three chickens and a work-in-progress house and jobs and a minivan that isn’t a Chrysler Town and Country. Heh. Anyway. We do fight, but we also almost always figure out how to work through whatever it is I’m mad about we’re arguing over. Ryan loves vehicles almost as much as he loves the good old fashioned actual paper newspaper, and that’s a lot. When Chrysler contacted me to offer a Town and Country to drive for a week, I forwarded the email to my dear husband and within about ten seconds he emailed me back. It was a long heart-felt love letter to me and minivans that went like this: SAY YES! The first day we got the minivan, I couldn’t […]

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I don’t know why there’s no sound! It’s making me crazy. We’re both going to have to just imagine a song. It’ll be a fun game! RIGHT? Sing yourself something and then push play! danceparty 0001 from Heather King on Vimeo.   Our kids are rad. about that whole parenting in this technological world thing? I forgot to mention that we get to make each other smile just for kicks and that’s one of my favorite parts. Today it was my turn. Or Elsie’s, I should say. You’re welcome.

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Earlier today I shared some tips on how to make your garage sale a success. (To get people to your sale and to make some money!) And now I’m sharing some little tips that make life easier as you plan and prepare for a sale. (Yes. I’m doing two garage sale posts in one day, as if I have nothing else to do…What can I say? Typing relaxes me.) 1. Don’t put a garage sale on your calendar, place ads and then start to get ready. No matter how well organized you are, having a sale is obviously still a lot of work, so it’s best to not leave that work to the last minute. A garage sale is one of the only things I do that doesn’t involve procrastination. I have a lot of anxiety in general. I don’t need to be schlepping stuff around my garage at 2 a.m. the night before […]

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“Have nothing in your home that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.” – William Morris   All last week I was slowly and sporadically preparing for a garage sale. (In other words, for five minutes here and there while juggling children (literally, in the air) I went through closets and put price tags on things that we haven’t used. That always adds up to a lot.) Then a friend of mine came over the day before the sale and couldn’t believe how giddy I was.  She said she could see how happy I was to be having a garage sale in my face. Yes. I’m a giddy garage sale-having big nerd. It’s a combination of things, my friends. Purging. Cash. Purging. And the psychology of garage sales. You know, the fascinating people and conversations you have that can only come about because of strangers entering your yard, […]

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dance off

April 26, 2012

because your Thursday needs a little dance off… p.s. who needs pants?! or shirts?! P.S. I did an interview for an online show called Moms Like Us. You can watch it now if you’d like. (It begins at 4 minutes 30 seconds. There’s an interview with Minnesotan children’s book author Catherine Urdahl before my interview. Catherine was kind enough to give her two books to me while we were there and we love them. They’re beautifully illustrated and touch on childhood themes that are hard to address without her style of seeing these hard feelings through a child’s eyes. You can check them out at catherineurdahl.com)

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GO.

April 4, 2012

Today I said, Note to life: I’m done with this week early. Thanks for having me!  Life isn’t a very good listener. Apparently we’re supposed to learn from it more than it learns from us. Buh. Nothing is really bad or anything, it’s just exhausting. The travels-for-work husband is traveling and Asher has hit a phase in which he is terribly NOT okay with having a traveling dad. I can’t figure out if it helps or hurts to talk to Daddy on the phone. I’m guessing he’d just be really sad either way. The bright side is that the way Asher’s heart is hurting is evidence of a really strong connection with his Dad. I love that. Today has gone something like go go go go go go go goooooooooooo…. breathe. go go go go go go go goooooooooooooooooo…. gasp. go go gogogogogoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo… fall over. get up. GO. Then it momentarily stopped because […]

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in which I admit…

March 8, 2012

I really hate to admit it, but I’m ridiculous and I thought that perhaps, if I should write it out like a somewhat humorous but also true confession, it may improve. I mean, maybe I’ll stop making no sense about this particular thing. Ahem. Here it goes: I have to stop myself from getting really mad at my husband for nothing. A lot. It’s always about the kids. This insanity takes me over and I don’t know, I guess it’s because  I’m with the kids most of the time. I seem to have this belief that when Ryan’s home from work, he should be completely taking over everything and anything and all things related to child care at every single moment forever and ever amen.  I mean, until he leaves. So…if he starts to make himself some food, I’m all, Why are you doing that? Now? The boys need a bath…or Elsie needs […]

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small style {1}

February 16, 2012

I am very stylish in my head. Especially while browsing Pinterest. But in real life, I have a tendency to keep my style in my head and out of my closet and off my body. (Truth be told, even my “My Style” pinboard on Pinterest is anemic.) Maybe it’s mostly this season of parenting, but I’m more of a, OH look! I got out of my yoga pants and into jeans! kind of girl. Also. I don’t love shopping. I consider it a chore and I make it SNAPPY. In the store, off the rack, DONE. When I was pregnant with Elsie, everyone was all, OH I bet you’re having so much fun shopping for a girl! And I was all, uuuuum…yeaaaah.  Of course, now that she’s here, it is more fun to dress her than I thought, but I will also admit that I’m totally not an overly ruffly-frilly-pinky lover. (You know, […]

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stay

February 13, 2012

I kind of want to keep each little snapshot version of these children of ours. They just keep changing too fast with all that growing so fast. If we could keep each one, we’d have like 569 Miles’ and 348 Ashers and 72 Elsie Janes. That’s 989 varying sizes of the kids we’ve come to know that are gone and also not gone because they’re all way down deep inside these growing people. If we had kept them all, Newborn Miles and Infant Miles and another Infant Miles and then a Newborn Asher until a Toddler Asher–you get the idea–we’d be bumping around and into each other, and there would be babies and toddlers and preschoolers everywhere and more would be added all the time. They’d look around at their old selves and I’d be all, SEE? Look at you, that’s how you were! And now there you are! Here! And there and there […]

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in the big woods

December 19, 2011

  This picture is from like two weeks ago. You know, when I should have been focusing on Christmas to-do lists, but was instead just walking around Target aimlessly, not buying anything. Now I’m all stressed and I wish Christmas didn’t have to be that way and sure I do a lot of it to myself by procrastination but it also seems like even if I do some things ahead of time, the lists just keep adding stuff to themselves. (yes, I realize that’s a hugely confusing run-on sentence but I’m too tired to change it.) I wish this season was more like it was on the prairie. You know, with the Ingalls, in the little house. Just candy and a violin and some food to make the whole family overjoyed. No hustle and bustle, just a cozy fire and some singing and tradition. Anyway. I love Christmas. I really do. I especially […]

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motherhood math

November 30, 2011

Miles was eating breakfast at the counter while I did all kinds of things in the kitchen. He said, Grown ups are way busier than kids…especially you, you are the busiest grown up. I told him that I’m sure there are people busier than I am and he said, No. Because you have to feed Elsie… and put her to bed… and make us food and make your own food and make Asher finish his food because he doesn’t, and drive me to school and that’s 7 things OH! And what am I forgetting… You also give us stars (referring to the stars they earn for doing things) and you give Elsie a bath and you give US a bath… THAT’S TEN THINGS!!! See? You are the busiest! So. According to my six-year-old, I do ten things (maybe his counting is a little off) and all but one of them are for my […]

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These are my ninjas. All parts to these costumes as pictured above are now strewn about the house. There were plastic swords and knives involved, that could be slid into a backpack type of ninja-wearing thing but most of them are gone. Somewhere in the yard or the playhouse or probably downstairs, buried in Legos. The masks? Maybe under a bed or something. But for one day, the boys were TOTAL ninjas and they loved every second of it. Especially the candy part. Right before trick or treating was coming to a close for us, they started actually saying trick or treat and thank you. This is progress. They don’t like talking to random people. Even random people with candy. Since that night, we’ve been battling sickness, each of us. Elsie has her first ear infection and right now as I type this, I’m trying to ignore the chills and the cough and […]

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Oh yes I di’id I was going for the Jenna Elfman look… So I have really really short hair now. Maybe if I dye it blonde you can call me Dharma. I’m not even going to tell you how long it had been since I got my haircut last. I’m a whole new woman. Still Heather, but a little Elfmanesque. You never know what’s next. Maybe I’ll even get a new sweater! xoxo

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You eat some sugar snap peas and a bowl of cereal and call it dinner. You worry that the crunching of your cereal may wake the baby. The baby that is in another room, behind a closed door. You consider yourself more accomplished than ever before in your life if you water your two plants in the same day. Wait. Scratch that. You consider yourself more accomplished than ever before if you master the magical babywearing contraption called the Moby wrap on the first try. If it takes twenty tries, you are normal. No matter how many times it takes you to master the wrap, every time you wear your baby in it, you feel a bit smug and also totally in love with carrying your baby close, hands-free! You throw a pillow across the room at 3 a.m. because you just can’t.be.awake for one more second and then you cry when the […]

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room service

August 9, 2011

It wasn’t easy having a baby at BlogHer. It was worth it, but it wasn’t easy. My head was split in half, covering her needs and trying to stay focused on all that needed to be done for the Serenity Suite. {This is where I say the hugest thank you EVER to Ellie, for her support and hard work the entire three days. This woman embodies what friendship really means. Truly.} One morning, after Ellie went out to grab coffee for both of us, I ordered room service and then promptly forgot that I ordered room service. Then I put Elsie in her car seat, set her on the bathroom floor and got in the shower. Then, when I heard a loud knock on the door, I WONDERED WHY. Until this thought passed through my cluttered synapses… OH YEAH. OATMEAL. So I hopped out of the shower, threw a towel around my drippy […]

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mirror

July 31, 2011

I am the kind of girl who buys a ginormous five dollar mirror at a thrift store because there must be a good place for it but I don’t know where. I am the kind of girl that has the ginormous mirror in the basement for over a year. I am the kind of girl who walks by said ginormous mirror every day on the way to the laundry and feels sort of guilty. I am the kind of girl who decides very randomly on a nothing-else-going-on kind of day that the mirror must go on the wall right over there right this very minute, after all this time. (Thank you Ryan and Dad.)     I am the kind of girl who notices that the orange curtains can be seen at the same time as the orange pillows now because of the mirror. I am the kind of girl who has to […]

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spinning

July 20, 2011

Elsie is sleeping and so I changed the laundry and I started dinner and I swept the floor. I hurried. I should be paying bills now, or calling in a prescription or sweeping the floor, again. There is so much dog hair when it’s this hot. But I needed to come here, to just sit with my fingers tapping with words that are going in no particular direction or maybe in many directions. We (the parents)are in the trenches, friends. We just are. We’re fighting a battle and I’m doing that thing where I over-think it hoping that I can miraculously come up with an answer that would fix the pain for Elsie. But I can’t. The reality is that she’s a newborn and she won’t always be one and her little gut will mature. (Yes, I do realize I keep saying that over and over, almost every time I post something. Maybe […]

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saturday’s train

April 2, 2011

This is a train of thought: I’m a nomad. Or maybe the idea of being one just appeals to me sometimes. It’s like I’ve come with some sort of internal map inside me that needs traveling. So sometimes I just want an RV and my family and miles and miles of road. I want to stop and see friends and meet new people across the country and I want to teach my kids that there’s a great big world out there, you know? We don’t have an RV though and that’s okay, of course. Maybe one day we will. Maybe we’ll be those crazy people that other people whisper about–they are so weird-they just drive around. That would be okay. Today I get to travel a not-so-terribly-long distance to The Big City, where we lived over a year ago now. (I still miss living there, by the way.) I’ll get to see “old” […]

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sputtered words

March 27, 2011

The computer actually coughed when I pushed the power button to wait for the screen to light up. cough cough whir sputter cough vroom! (success was slow in coming) Either this old PC of ours wants to be a part of the Influenza ridden crew that is my family, or it had actually been that long since I last turned it on. Or both. It’s probably both. Our little Asher sounds much the same. rev rev cough cough whir sputter cough And now it seems it’s Daddy’s turn, but his is more like a COUGH COUGH wheeze COUGH COUGH. (I capitalize for BIGGER COUGH) (poor guy) Me? I’m on day 4 (I think?) of uuugggggghhh and isolation in the bedroom, talking to myself and hoisting my pregnant belly from side to side. (not that I’d be complaining) (but I do actually have a sore on one elbow from all the hours of hoisting) (good grief) Seriously, […]

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