Washington’s Perspective

I have returned from the great state of Washington (rainy, but a sizzling 35 degrees). Lana and I spent a few days with Tiffany, Grady, Chloe (18mos) and Sam (5 weeks). We ran errands and cleaned house. When I say cleaned house, I smile because we really cleaned house. When you know a preemie with a virus is on the mend and about to come home to be quarantined to his bedroom, you really want all the germs to go bye-bye. There is currently more bleach in Washington than the state can handle on account of our neurotic scrubbing. It sure felt good. We kept joking that we should clean like this at home, but we really wouldn’t do anything else if we tried that. When you spend five minutes bleaching one light switch before moving on to the next, you know you have problems. Anyway, it was so great to help out and the timing couldn’t have been more perfect because Sam got to come home Sunday afternoon, right after we finished the cleaning! And of course I had a ton of fun with Lana. We couldn’t get over how weird it felt to be without our families for 2 and a half days. It was a first for me and I was quite worried about them, but Ryan and my sister handled everything well back home.
Asher is slowly getting back to being himself, is definitely teething while having this bad cold, but is starting to sleep a bit. That’s a huge relief. Ryan really handled him well, being up late and up numerous times during the night. I missed my boys, but came back feeling refreshed and somehow different.
Things just look different around here, including my boys and Ryan. It is so good for a person to be away sometimes. It always feels good to come home. Not only that, but I watched the weekend unfold like an outsider, amazed at how perfect the timing of our arrival was and in awe of how things really do all work together for good. It was just so clearly evident all weekend in a hundred different ways, big and little.
I got a good dose of perspective, which is always needed. Life can be hard with sick kids and traveling husbands, but all is truly well. I felt sick to leave Tiff, knowing that soon she will go it alone during the day, trying to keep her one and a half year old, busy little daughter content, while nursing and responding to her newborn boy. Not only that, but she has to focus on keeping Sam seperate from his sister and making sure his room is in no way contaminated. I just can’t imagine. But Tiff always teaches me about the power of positive thinking. Her dear friend, Luther called while we were driving one day and her end of the conversation went something like this…(keep in mind this was the day after Sam came home)… “I’m great, how are you?!” Oh, Luth, you wouldn’t believe how well Lana and Heather cleaned my house, it feels SO good and Sam is doing so great.” Then she went on to ask him a list of questions about he and his family. She took the focus off herself because that’s her nature. I was driving that day and thinking I could really learn something big from this, even if I’ve learned it before. Tiffany blows my mind that way. It’s genuine and simply who she is. She focuses so much on all the good things around her. It is what gets her through this and I’m quite proud of my friend.
So when I lost my coat and had to check my tiny carry-on at the gate because the plane was too full, I grumbled, but remembered Tiffany’s good attitude and decided to shut myself up. Yes, I had to go to baggage claim when I came home and yes, I was really cold without my coat, but such is life. I sat and thought about how good it felt to clean Tiff’s house and how much fun it is to be with Lana. I thought about how Grady made the best salmon I’ve ever tasted in my life, and how good it was to hold baby Sam so Tiff could eat. And then my coat and bag were just after-thoughts. I figure if Tiffany can stay positive with so much stress around her, I can probably get over my coat. I need to carry that lesson with me each day, especially as a wife and mom. If I go looking for the good, I will find it. If I go looking for offense, I will find it (Sara Groves reference).
I must also mention that I do feel a bit older after this trip. Maybe because I was so tired before I left and never rested and came back to more non-sleeping. Or maybe because I keep being surprised by my friends and I being in these totally “grown-up” situations. Or maybe I should just face it that it’s because I found my first gray hair while I was there! AND more wrinkles. This may be the reason I feel different. I think it might finally be sinking in that I’m in my thirties! I really was convinced my age had not happened to me. Now that it really has; now that there is physical evidence, I can’t live in that much denial. I might as well just jump in and totally enjoy my thirties, learn from what is given to me to learn, and be better for it when I reach forty. ugh…forty?
One final thing on the aging of Heather… Tiff and Grady are eye doctors. They gave us complimentary exams and glasses (way cool) and Tiff laughed at me when I said “does this mean I’m getting old?” Her answer was basically yes, even though she was trying to sugar coat it. My eyes are totally messed up and I didn’t even know it! I thought they were my eighteen year old eyes, still 20/20 perfect! No such luck! She said my eyes are currently working really hard to see right. Poor things, I’ve been over-working them. I feel bad for them at the same time as I’m mad at them for failing me now. I look 32 in my new spectacles. I suppose that’s appropriate and necessary for this new acceptance of my true age. What’s next, arthritis?