I had a conversation recently about attachment disorders and how they start with a lack of love, bonding, and attachment in the first three years of life. These are the kinds of topics that raise the hair on my neck and start the spin cycle in my stomach. Then I am forced to take a deep breath and remind myself that I don’t ignore my children or intentionally withhold love in any way. Neither does Ryan so I think we’re okay. Maybe the dog hurts their feelings sometimes with her flippant snubs, but I’m hoping that’s different.
After the deep breath and return to reality I’m usually okay, but sometimes the big worry monster wants to keep rearing her over-sized and sneaky head. She is usually just napping somewhere close enough nearby that if I walk by her, she snaps right up and hops on my back. Or maybe my shoulders. Then I carry her around for a day or two. She keeps blowing on my neck to raise the hairs, and feeding me unhealthy foods to keep the tummy churning. She makes sure every little thing makes me think of things like attachment disorders.
By the way, the worry monster is female because I think we do most of the worrying.
Asher wouldn’t go down for his nap, which is not that common anymore (alleluia), so I got to thinking that maybe he’s got a chronic ear infection and because we’ve not helped him with it, he’ll have attachment disorder someday because of course he’ll feel neglected and alone in his plight. “They” say that happens. So now I’m pretty sure that’s what’s going on.
I wrote this to make it clear to myself how silly it is to let the worry monster hop on. I will take her off now and go eat sprouts and do some yoga. Okay, I’m not going to do either one of those things, I admit it. But I am going to laugh in the face of irrational worries. And rational worry too.
{ 3 comments }
I would say stop worrying, but I know that no mom can really do that. So, I will just say try to stop worrying about this particular issue! I have never met your family, and yet I can confidently say that it is clear that you give your kids plenty of love and attention! I wanted to let you know that the name that is left when you comment I think is because that must still be the name on your blogger profile. When I click on it though, it no longer goes to your profile or your blog… so I guess you don’t have to worry about it.
Nevermind… now when I clicked on the “kings of lauderdale” it did take me to your blog.
Oh, boy, I can definitely relate to this one. I have been sure I’ve done permanent damage in the attachment department on a number of times. I am constantly reminding myself that the chances are, if I’m constantly worrying about attachment, it’s probably happening!
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