He was an ANGEL!

I’ve bumped into a few blog posts today (pun intended) about tripping, falling off of things, basically making a fool of yourself in one way or another. That sort of thing. I LOVE these posts. I love to imagine the antics of another human being, flailing around and making a fool of themselves. Maybe that’s a bit mean. But I can’t help it. There is no better way to make me giggle until I can’t stop than to walk next to me, catch your toe on a tiny bump on the ground and do one of those sudden attempts to prevent hitting your face on the pavement. Oh, I’m laughing right now just thinking of it. I can’t stop. I’m picturing you tripping and it’s super funny. Hold on a second….

Thanks. Sorry. Oh wait, just another second (imagine me here with finger held up, my hand covering my mouth to prevent you from seeing how big it is, while convulsing with laughter).

Okay, I’m going to be a grown-up now and continue getting to the point.
But first, here are two of the posts I’m referring to, just so you can laugh like I just did:
Kateastrophe: My Grand Entrance Into the Adult World (featured today on Bloggers Annex)
and
The Lawsons Did Dallas: Tripping, Falling, and Other Fabulous Happenings
(if you don’t already read these two blogs, that’s just silly.)

All that hoopla to share just one of my many stories of my very own slap-stick comedy:

I’ve never been good with roller-blades, or in-line skates or whatever. I cannot stop. There is no stopping me. It’s kind of like seeing me on snow skis. I just keep going, no matter how many times someone yells “Make a V!!!” I go on forever, like that battery bunny. Or until something like a hill, a parked car, or a mailbox stops me.
So one of the first times I tried roller-blading I was downtown in the small city I grew up in. I was on the main street, going down a hill. I knew down-hill was a bad idea, since I had never once successfully used the brake on those darn things. And I was right. My friend, who actually knew how to stop, was ahead of me, coming to the intersection. I had heard it’s a good idea to stop at intersections so I started to panic, looking for something to grab a hold of to stop me. I tried grabbing a sign, but I wasn’t fast enough. If you haven’t figured it out already, I’m not so coordinated. So anyway, I grabbed for the sign too soon, or too late I can’t be sure. I frantically looked around for another object to grab and there was nothing. So I continued to pick up speed.

And then. Get this. A guardian angel appears out of nowhere. Can you hear the heavenly music? An angel!

My angel happened to be disguised as a stooped over, gray-haired man walking very slowly across the sidewalk in front of me. But still. An angel!

Don’t judge me.

I was desperate and alone, with no hope of surviving a collision with a possible car that could have maybe appeared. I mean, I know there was little to no traffic in my town and all, but you just never know. So I would prefer to believe that grabbing tightly with both hands to an unsuspecting elderly man while flying up to him on wheels was totally worth it. I would rather believe that he saved my life than admit that I was actually just a selfish, clumsy teenage girl, afraid of skinning her knees.

So that old man. He saved my life. Wasn’t that nice?

In case you’re wondering, he did not fall over. What a hero! And I was able to stop, while half-falling to the ground, shouting “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I can’t stop!”

It would make me feel cool if you posted something on your blog similar to this. Because you MUST have done something like this? Right? Right? PLEASE??? I want to laugh until I cry, all because of your hilarious story of when you made a fool of yourself with your body!

Okay so if you tell a story that you MUST have, can you comment here and tell me you posted it? Cause then I’ll be sure to be cheered up. I need some cheering. Is that enough guilt for ya? No? Okay, how ’bout this? DO IT. Or I might try roller-blading again and that’s dangerous!

Or don’t do it. Whatever. I’m thinking maybe one person (Sabrina) is going to do this. And I’m thinking that’s quite enough. Even one good, humiliating story would make my day. Really.