For so many years I took for granted the peace and quiet of the car. My commutes to work were totally taken for granted. I miss traffic jams. These days, one of my favorite daydreams is that I’m stuck in traffic all alone in my car for hours. My friend Mackenzie has two (crazy adorable) girls the same ages as Miles and Asher. You wanna know what these girls do when they get in the car? Zonk. Every time. Asleep. Not a peep. See ya when we get there, mom. Nigh Night. Mackenzie sips her coffee and listens to her music and sometimes just aimlessly drives around in her own head space. Yeah, so when Mackenzie calls from her cell just to chat cause she’s got all this free time in the car, I kind of want to reach through the phone and grab her face. (She knows this, so that wasn’t mean. […]
Does it mean I’ve officially lost my mind if I have moments here and there of thinking it would be a good idea to have another baby? What a difference a year can make. Last year at our annual day at the orchard, I was a complete wreck as the mother of a colicky newborn and a toddler. A toddler who was very mad at the colicky newborn for ruining his life. Let’s just say it totally stunk. Here I am (last year), pretending to have a lovely timewhen I was really pretty much completely insane. (niece, E also pictured) Yesterday, we were back with Ryan’s family for our annual trip to the orchard. It was absolutely beautiful outside. We had a ridiculously good time. I wasn’t pacing around with Asher attached to me, praying that he wouldn’t start screaming. He was content, maybe even peaceful. It was a beautiful thing. And Miles […]
It’s fine to put one of these and one of these in one of these: But that’s it. Just those two people. update: this is not my tub, just a flickr photo. sorry for the confusion :) If there were a tv in my bathroom, I’d surely get too pruney. Two boys in a tub. Totally company. But if you add one of these: Three (very quickly) becomes a CROWD! “Everybody up! Everybody out! Now! Now! Now! UUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!” Me-“Honey, did you accidentally poop in the tub, or did you do that on purpose?!?Miles-“I did it on purpose.”Me- Silence. Nice. Everything was bath-time bliss until the dreaded,“Um…Mom, I just pooped.”And then,(as I quickly removed the peoplefrom the poop-tainted tub) “Mom, can I touch it?” Um….NO. So yeah, I’ve drawn the conclusion that very often, three really is a crowd. (I’m truly so sorry that this lame post is my final submission as I host […]
Whenever I see blog posts about being “tagged,” I picture an actual real-life game of tag. You know, with grown women and men rushing around trying to touch each other, switching whose turn it is to chase and whose it is to flee. That’s an entertaining daydream. Yes, you guessed it. I’ve been tagged. By Whitney over at Baby Tunnel Exodus. This sweet lady revealed 7 quirks about herself and then tagged myself and a few others to do the same. 1. I had an eye twitch for about seven years. It started my last year in college during finals week, directly below my left eye. It pulsed in and out almost constantly for those seven years. I got so used to it I couldn’t even feel it anymore. Then someone would be talking to me and they would point at it and say something like “your eye is doing something.” And I […]
Ryan and I took the boys and went to play tennis again yesterday. I don’t know why we don’t learn from our mistakes. We really should just give up pretending we can play like we did in high school. We can’t. We actually totally stink. But that isn’t my point. I’m not even that sure what my point is, except I might secretly want reassurance that I’ll have really really nice teenage boys one day. So if you can tell me that I will, please do so in the comments. I want a guarantee though. It’s nice that it will be in writing because it’s on a computer and in the comments. Forever. All Nice Boy Guarantees are appreciated more than words can say. Thank you for that. Oh sorry, where was I? Oh yeah. On the court next to us was a young man (teen) who I will refer to as Sassafrass. […]
I’m having a good morning. I know this because I was nice to the dog. Now, if you don’t have a dog and children and a husband and a house at the same time, you may wonder why I’m not always nice to the dog. Don’t worry, I do not kick the dog. But I do completely ignore her when I’m all overwhelmed and grumpy. I feed her. And I let her out into the junkyard, or I mean backyard to do her duty. That’s nice of me. But I don’t pet her or talk to her that much anymore unless I’m having a really good day and I remember to notice her. True confession. So anyway. This morning I stood right by her (Tia) and talked to her and patted her head and scratched her behind her ears. For more than ten seconds. So I must be having a good day. My […]
Did you know that I worked at a grain elevator? Yes. I weighed corn and soybeans. There were a lot of truckers. My co-worker, Dog (real nickname) and I would play baseball in the scale room. That means that in between customers, we would use a ruler and pieces of corn for our exciting baseball games. Just goes to show you that you can make just about anything fun. I’ve also been a server (Don Pablos all the way baby), an office manager, a clerk at Snyder Drug, a sales person at Maurices, and a Creative Memories consultant (for like a month). I worked in a print shop (back when collating and stapling was done by hand). Then I was in social work, case management for people with mental illnesses. And then I became a Mom and a postpartum doula. I’m sure I’m forgetting something, but I realize this isn’t all that interesting. […]
“You’re not going to remember any of it anyway,” was what she said. I felt like she had just socked me in the stomach. I hadn’t really thought about it before, but forgetting makes perfect sense. I do it all the time. But this? I’m not going to remember this?I guess she would know, she’s been through it. The sleepless nights, the loads of diapers and laundry, the tantrums, the baths, the food flung across the floor. Those are the things she was referring to, saying I’d forget all of that. She was meaning to encourage me. And yes, I don’t really mind that I’ll forget all of that. I will enjoy my hindsight rose colored glasses when they arrive years from now. But I would gladly remember all of the stress and strain, fatigue and frustration vividly if it meant I would remember all the rest just the same. Because it makes […]
You guys have been like the paparazzi today! And me, like Russell Crowe! I could just PUNCH someone. Or at least throw my phone at someone!I hate posting pictures of myself and you’re SO pushy!!! But instead of punching anyone, I’ll just pose like I’m a drunk on America’s Next Top Model. Really drunk. Or. The real me. Now you might be asking yourself a few questions. (BESIDES what’s WRONG with her?)Ryan was taking a bunch of pictures of me for my bio over on Mama Manifesto this weekend, and we got a little crazy with it. Because we’re crazy. I’m not just narcissistic, asking people to take pictures of me by myself. I actually quite HATE photo shoots. Nextly, you may want to know why I think my hair is trendy.This is why: Just ignore the bed head around the bottom there and notice that my hair is now two-toned. I’m totally […]
I really do like the whole spa thing. I mean, I think people should go to treat themselves and relax. I especially liked being able to go on Auntie K’s dime (for the most part, which I’ll get to later) last Friday. My friend Mackenzie and I had a day away, spending time together and having an experience that’s rare. For us anyway. And unique. And sometimes very funny. We learned that we’re maybe not the classiest ladies, or all that smart. But it was still great. We’ll laugh about it for a long time.Because,First of all, I have a cold. I coughed a lot during the massage. Peggy the masseuse, who seemed a bit overly focused on rubbing my thighs for really extended periods of time, had to stop to ask me what was going on. Because you see, Peggy the masseuse was one of those ‘rub lightly’ massage therapists. (Which makes […]
This was written for memory’s sake, as much as I may not want to remember. If you’ve had a baby with colic, you will hear this post and feel the sisterhood behind it. If you have not, and plan to have a baby any time in the future, you may want to skip this one. I wouldn’t want you to worry that it could happen to you. Chances are, you will not live with colic. But, why worry?If you have not experienced a serious case of colic, this post will seem pretty dramatic. If you have, it probably won’t be dramatic enough…baby colic: a form of pain in the abdomen which starts and stops abruptly.————————————-The crying. It doesn’t stop. You will stand helpless. You will stand weary and exhausted beyond anything you can imagine. You will try everything: the rocking, the swaying, the drives in the car, the shushing and pacing, the swaddling […]
Today I will spend most of my day at the spa. Wait. Did I just say that? Is this a dream? Where am I? Who am I? How is this possible? Where are my children? You see, I cannot believe it. I wouldn’t imagine that my pipe dream of a day at the spa would come true at this point in my life. (I’m just too cheap, and if we had extra spending money I don’t know if I could bring myself to use it on a whole day at the spa, even if I totally deserve it.) But you see, I have this generous and thoughtful Auntie K. She gifted myself and a friend with a day at the spa! SHUT UP, you say? I know! That rocks the party. I’m a wee bit more than excited. I plan to look like an entirely new person at the end of today. Or […]
I was going to post something serious today entitled Remembering Colic. Let’s just save that for another day and I’ll tell you about a childhood injury instead. Kristen over at We are THAT Family is spreading the hilarity around the blogosphere as people share stories from their past. (I discovered this through Our Little Tonnginator and wrote (read copy) the same kind of post as TonnguMomma’s hilarious one regarding childhood injuries)So here’s mine. Short and sweet. Or maybe not sweet. My sister and I were about, I don’t know, maybe 8 and 10? Me being the 8 year old, trying to keep up with her cooler, more adept older sister. We were in our downstairs living room, our parents minding their own business upstairs. We were supposed to be trusted for short periods of time on our own. But we were having sleeping bag races. If you don’t know what that means, it’s […]
Miles was given this as a gift: You get to grow your very own little dinosaur-like fish things!Kind of intriguing and creepy and cool all at the same time. If you ask Ryan (Daddy), this little science project is entirely too creepy for his taste. (You should see his face when he has to hold the little container of eggs that will grow into the little tadpole guys! He looks like he might cry. Priceless!) But he’s being a good sport and getting the water the right temperature, cleaning out the aquarium and soaking the little rocks, just like the directions say. That’s very nice since he’s obviously disturbed by this whole idea. This was our conversation today: Ryan- You know we’re going to have to dispose of these at some point don’t you? Me – Yeees. Why, what do you mean?Ryan- Well, what if they just go on living and living, sooner […]
You know those movies (Lifetime) or TV shows (soap operas) where someone is faking that they can’t walk? They’re pretending to be in need of others and getting lots of attention for it? Usually for money or something. And then you cut to the next scene, and they’re waiting for someone to leave the room. And after the person is gone, they slink right out of their wheelchair, over to the tray of crystal dishes and grab a quick brandy? Just as you suspected! Yes, I’ve seen enough of these shows to know when something’s fishy! Like the possibilty of this baby pretending to only be able to crawl, when he can actually WALK! Yesterday I rounded the corner to the kitchen, surprising Asher with my arrival, and lo and behold, what did I see? He was standing there holding on to… NOTHING! Uh huh. He was independent of assistance, appearing as comfortable […]
Do you wanna know what’s funny? Back when I did the little “interview” thing for 5 Minutes for Mom, I said I’d been blogging for about a year and a half. Today I took a look at the date of my first post, and to my surprise, I’m just now coming up on one year of blogging. Yup, in October. Apparently I thought it was much longer than it has been like three months ago when I answered those questions. Time is so freakin‘ weird to me. I can’t for the life of me keep track of it. You’d think it would be pretty simple, what with all the calendars and clocks and stuff around. But I actually don’t look at either of those things all that often. Anyway, I digress. (I wonder how many times I’ve typed those two words in the last year? I digress. I’d guess about 476 times, but […]
I got married later than quite a few of my friends. I had a number of long-term relationships that simply fell apart before there were wedding bells. Of course in hindsight that’s a good thing. For me, the thing about experiencing SO many relationships before finding Ryan, was that there are a lot of old memories, fears, and issues that can arise, breaking in on a healthy, trusting relationship. Because of that, there was a part of me that struggled with fear as the wedding day drew closer. I knew I could not imagine my life without Ryan in it. I knew that we should be together, somewhere deep inside, I knew. Even when the fears and doubts would creep in, trying to steal my peace, I just knew. They say that happens. But “just knowing” and also having a mind that over-thinks everything can sometimes make life tricky. I never wanted to […]
Going to Ikea puts me in a good mood. There are truly inexpensive storage containers there. And I really like to organize and store things. Like little boy shoes, games, puzzles, blankets, clothes, winter items, socks, books, toys, towels, outdoor toys…… So yeah. I was in a good mood after a trip there today. I was loading the boys in the car and doing what I normally do. Rapping. What mother doesn’t rap while trying to persuade her children to do things they don’t feel like doing? If I had the ability to vlog (is that what it’s called?) I would totally share this rap with you, since it works wonders. Or if I wanted to have myself seen on video over the internet, then I would show you via YouTube. But that isn’t going to happen. So instead you’ll just have to rap this in your head while imagining me trying to […]
When it comes around to lunch time here in house of EO, I find myself standing in the kitchen, staring off into space, wondering why life has to be so hard. I mean…wait. Wondering why LUNCH has to be so hard. I say things to myself like, “Why DO people have to eat three times a day? Isn’t the prep and eating and clean-up enough of a time-suck that we could just skip at least ONE?” Yeah, that’s what I think about lunch. Most of the time. SO, I’m grateful for what’s going on over at the lovely Jenny’s place, A Latte Talk today! LUNCH IDEAS with Mr. Linky! If you have some, get your butt over there and share because (obviously) I need your help! So you want to know what ideas I’M sharing for lunch? In true Heather fashion, I’m going to cut corners. Since I’ve shared that lunch DOES NOT […]
9/11 still makes me weepy and a bit off. And it’s a dreary day. Rain makes me weepy and a bit off too. I don’t mind though. Some days are good for being weepy and getting the emotions out. I often sing that little crying song to Miles and Asher, “It’s alright to cry. Crying gets the sad out of you. It’s alright to cry. It might make you feel better.” Sometimes I sing it to myself too. But in my head rather than out loud. It feels sort of crazy to cry, rock back and forth, and sing. So yeah, I’m a bit off today. I’ve never been good at wrapping my mind around time. When someone said this morning that it has been seven years since the terrorist attack on NYC, I just felt a bit stumped. SEVEN? How is that possible. I’m sure the families of the people who died […]
*yes, the sheer amount of linking in this post could totally drive you over the edge. But don’t let it. Just take a deep breath and sit back, relax your shoulders, and enjoy some really great stuff that I’ve linked you to right here in this post. Or enjoy at least one of them. Don’t be like me and get all freaked out and click away. If you do that, I just spent half the day preparing this for you for no reason. I think that you’ll find some really good stuff here. Or I wouldn’t have spent so many hours preparing this for you. Enough guilt yet? Click on just one. Really. Or I might cry later. Um…thanks! The post finally begins:Sometimes I just sit here, the blank page in front of me and I can’t figure how to say things. I confess I have the most jumbly mind ever, EVER, EVER. […]
I brought the camera along when bringing Miles to his first day of preschool today. (of course!) At first I thought I would bring it just for a quick shot on the way in. Then I decided to take a few extras for a picture story – the story that makes today’s post…Miles thought it was cool that we headed off to actually go to the school we’ve visited so many times. He’s been looking forward to it for weeks. Me, on the other hand? Well, I was just a jumble of thoughts and emotions and wasn’t really expecting that. (And yes, Asher’s car seat has a leopard print cover. Don’t ask.) Miles is such a strong, resilient, happy person. He took off, saying “Mom, walk up here with me.” He got a little nervous, turning a bit uneasy when we entered the bustling building, and started chewing crazily at his nails. I […]
Before Asher was born, I was a doula. For those of you who don’t know what that is, there are birth doulas, supporting mothers in childbirth (I’m not one of those), and there are postpartum doulas (I am one of those). That means I would go be with a family when they first brought their baby home. I would work for anywhere from 3-6 hours a day, basically helping the mother recover and adjust, taking care of siblings, the newborn, doing laundry, making meals, etc. Basically the postpartum doula’s job is to be the extended family that most of us don’t have nearby anymore (or don’t want around). When Asher was born and he was really mad about it, and then cried for six months without stopping, it became really hard to go help and encourage other mothers. (And I was really, really, really thankful for my own postpartum doula). I lost my […]
I’ve heard it said that age three is really, really hard. Some “experts” have even narrowed the hardest part down to 3 and a half. Something happens in the brain and all that. I’m starting to think that maybe “they” really are the experts. (But only sometimes, because half the stuff “they” say makes me laugh a bit as I live out the true reality of raising children). The thing about three, is that developmentally Miles is gaining smartitude. And emotionally, while trying to find his own identity, he’s gaining CRAZINESS. A lot of the time, he’s expressing emotion like he never has before. And other times, he’s simply reflective and knowledgeable.——————-The smartitude thing is quite entertaining. He’s all, “I can count to a million” and, “Look at me! I remember everything ever said to me, EVER!!!” Which is cool. (I’m pretty sure this is the age when every parent fully grabs a […]
I had the same boyfriend for almost three years in high school. But not three years straight. Since I would break up with him every now and again, then miss him terribly, then ask for him back. We’ll call him Jim. Just for kicks. We were more than smitten with each other, so Jim would always give in when I asked for him back. Except for once our senior year when I really had to fight to get him back. I learned that the world didn’t revolve around me (gasp!), and realized that there were other girls out there that might enjoy his company. One of them happened to be cute, smart, kind and a friend of mine. We will call her Talia. Now most of the time it would be considered totally against the unspoken rules for a friend to start dating someone you just broke up with. But in our school, […]
*Update* Go check out Mama Manifesto today – there’s a contest, a great prize, and great ideas in the comments for books that help your kids learn valuable lessons. Yup, go check it out (but don’t forget to read about SOS below!)A post of mine is up on the Bloggers Annex today! An honor indeed. If you haven’t checked out the Annex, please do! Anyone can join and submit posts. One post is chosen and featured every day. There’s always something good to read. Thank you, AnneX! And now, SOS = Soap Opera Sunday Do you read Twas Brillig? Or is that just a silly question and now you’re saying “Of course!” Well I hope you are. I’m pretty sure Brillig has lived the fullest life of anyone her age on the planet. And when she tells her stories, your nose gets a bit glued to the screen, she’s amazing. Brillig and friend, […]
I want my kids to be angry. Isn’t the color of anger bright red? Yes. Color my children bright red. Color me red while you’re at it. Yes. I mean it. When life calls for it, paint my whole family as red as a tomato, or a fire truck. Sometimes anger is just plain necessary. We don’t give anger enough credit. It rises up in us for a reason, but we try to stop it, prevent it from making us look unstable or out of control. But it isn’t our anger that’s the problem. It’s what we do with our anger that seems to turn it against us. Because most of us have always had a problem with allowing ourselves or those close to us to be angry. Negative emotions seem to scare us. So when we feel this anger, the most harmless of emotions, we mute it. Silence the rising in our […]
Miles made up this song while in time-out yesterday: (Imagine sing-song preschool boy voice) “Dear God,I’m dead.I’m squished.People squished me killed.They were being funny,then I start to feel sad.And I was squished all the time.My life was going to be dead.” Um….Now here’s me defending myself as a loving mother: Really, we don’t ever talk about death and killing, unless he asks questions. Cause he’s three. So we don’t like to push the weight of the world on the poor little guy. Secondly, he had just been “squishing” his brother. Hence, the time out. And lastly, maybe he was just remembering his time in the womb. Because I’m pretty sure he was squished. And maybe that was uncomfortable at times, causing stress. We really are okay parents. At least I’m pretty sure about that. I mean, our nine year old nephew thinks so anyway. Just this last weekend he turned to Ryan and […]
We all need a break from life every now and again right? It’s one of my favorite things to daydream about actually. I love being a mom, but I also love daydreaming about sleeping in. And reading a whole day away. Or watching a movie with no interruptions. Or going to the bathroom by myself. Stuff like that. I had one of these delicious daydreams today and I wanted to tell you what I brought along on my solo vacation. (Yes, I am there by myself. All alone. No one else. Not even a good friend (that’s a different daydream)). And I’m at a cabin by a lake. And it’s a perfect summer day. Or days. Or a week. There’s a breeze, but not the kind that gives me goosebumps. Until night. It can be the chilly breeze at night because then I can grab a sweatshirt and read outside on the porch […]
Miles asked, “Why are you giving that man your money, mom?” I paused for a second, thinking of what to say. I wasn’t sure how to explain poverty to the three year old watching from my backseat. I didn’t know how to say that I was giving this man money because a turn in his life had resigned him to asking me for it. There are times when I have to be extra careful, choosing the right words to say. I have to figure out how to describe a person’s situation without taking a bite out of their already waning dignity. After all, this person is standing at a stop light; dirty clothes, unshaven face and a backpack. That’s it. Little dignity. Little pride. Just eyes darting away from my attempts at contact. A sheepish, “thank you, Miss,” after being handed the little spare change I could find after scrounging around, waiting for […]
