Posted on Thursday~February 19, 2009
They stand at my feet.
“I want a green one
no not yellow
I said please Mom!“
“Mama, can I just have an orange one!”
He yanks on my legs.
“I just want one more
and a green one and then three
MOM, you’re not listening!”
He snaps, he fusses, he stomps.
He wants wants wants
he’s not doing it right
He can’t wait for what he wants.
————
————
“Child, you need to back up!
ask in your regular voice
not with a whine…
just give me some space!”
“I was doing something
I will get it for you
it will be green
and then orange
stop grabbing
stop pulling
don’t cry
get off your brother’s foot
get off my foot
I HEARD YOU!”
I snap, I fuss, I stomp.
I can’t wait for what I want.
————
I see it then,
we’re the same.
we want.
I stop
and I sigh
and I breathe
and start again.
“Let me come down there
let me sit with you
let me look at you
what color would you like?”
and I smile
“Green, I think you said green.
Now how about if you ask again?”
I speak calmly
so does he.
He smiles
We share a snack and a laugh
no tears, no fuss, no stomp
just us.
{ 46 comments }
Are we talking about Skittles? Delicious!
And that is why you are such a great mother. You have that ability to put yourself in your kid’s shoes.
Totally relate.
This was so simple and wonderful. I have been there so many times.
Yes. Mothering is SO hard. It’s the biggest test of selflessness there is, I think.
Oh, that is very nice. My son is asking me to play trains and Uno with him. I think we’ll start with one and then move onto the other. A smiley boy is a happy boy. And a happy mom.
that was beautiful!!! I have lived those words!!
EXACTLY! I need to have that kind of happy ending more often.
Or start with that ending and skip the snapping, fussing and stomping.
I can totally relate to this one.
Beautiful. So true. We’ve all been there. And it’s those times when we take the time to just sit and hold and love that communication happens the way it’s intended to.
What a great post.
I totally model temper tantrums for my kids…
The story of my life most days. You said it well!
Me too! It’s hard to take a step back and see where the behavior is actually coming from. And it’s always me. Sigh.
I so relate to that! I know exactly where my kids learned to whine (hangs head in shame).
it is in the simplest things that we see our things .. I have seen parents tell their kids to look both ways and never go if a car is coming .. then they will see a car, but know they can make it, and go .. the kid sees mom/dad walking across the street/parking lot in front on oncoming cars ..
we were at McD’s Friday evening .. grandson (4) walked out holding Big Papaw’s (me) hand .. he said, I look both ways .. nothing coming .. makes ya remember
Perfectly said :)
Yes! I do it all the time. It hurts, doesn’t it? When you realize they’re doing what you’re doing?
Great, post. Fabulous! Lovin’ it.
Man, have I been here. So, so been there. Keep going back there. Keep trying to learn.
Beautifully written!
I have those moments too…when i realize my children act a certain way cause they are immulating ME!!
scary thought sometimes ;)
This was great! I loved how you wrote this out. Great job!
Beautiful. Such a great post. See, you are a good mom.
great poetry! love it!
We are so much alike~ are we not?!!!
Wow. Convicted. Maybe if I stopped acting like a spoiled 3 year old my 3 year old would have a little more respect for me…. Hmmm… :)
It always works better when we’re on their level, doesn’t it? Thanks for the reminder!
I find this to be true daily. When Dacey’s behavior spirals down, I have to stop and assess myself first. What vibe am I putting out? Am I remember to let my gentleness be evident to all – even and especially my children? More often than not, when she gets negative, she is just responding to me. :(
story of my days. it is so hard to be the grown up sometimes isn’t it?
You have such a way of bringing out both the joy and trials of motherhood. Kudos to you, friend. You’re a very special Mama!
This so could be from my life. Thanks!
Precious. I enjoying coming here so much.
Oh the humility required to see our influence on them and change it for the better!
Beautiful!
I can feel you sweating, but beautifully written!
Sweet and poignant. We really do WANT, and we want it now. Nice job.
That's a fantastic piece of writing, Heather! So honest & poignant. Thank you.
So well said :) That exact thing happens here. Only when I remember (and why is it so hard to remember???) to sit down, listen, and talk with my kid does it get easier.
Love it. It is so true.
Wonderful post! Such a nice reminder.
I love it. :) Very nice.
I don’t know if you call this an epiphany for getting your kids to behave as you want, but I do…and I had one just yesterday. Mine went very similarly to this, but it was about bath and bedtime. Aahhh…communicating is so nice when it’s done right.
Sweet, sober, and wonderful. :)
I like that. Did you write it?
Beautiful. Wonderful job!
I love this!
Beautiful poem!
beautifully written. and i can relate so well!
Beautiful. Profound. I saw here a great lesson in parenting…and also a lesson in the way we approach, and are answered by, our Heavenly Parent.
We whine, we fuss. He speaks calmly, He smiles.
Love you!
Oh, Heather…I can so relate! Well written :)
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