From her car seat behind me, she said, “I want to go see Great Grandma tomorrow, I like it there.” And I told her that was such a good idea. I said we would have to go sometime soon, but tomorrow she would be having fun at Daddy’s house. She said YAY, and then added a bit of a sad awww, “But I really wanted to go to Great Grandma’s place, too…” I know, honey. I hear you. Let’s make a plan to do it soon. You just can’t be two places at once. It’s a good problem to have, EJ…so many people love you, it’s hard to fit it all in… Then she said it best, I wish there were two tomorrows. Isn’t that a sucker punch to the gut in the best possible way? I mean, kids, they know just how to say so simply what we adults have been trying […]
On the Eve of five years of sobriety, I found myself considering making sugar cookies. They weren’t for me, which made me even more afraid to make them. I’ve never made sugar cookies from scratch. True story. I assumed it was way harder than it actually is, that’s what I did. For almost 40 years, I had not made sugar cookies for fear of a lengthy process with terrible results. Or something. I suppose it worked like that when I drank for all those years too. Stopping was foreign and daunting and fear took over so many times. I didn’t think I could do it. I didn’t want to do it. But something took over, just like with the damn cookies. I simply threw my arms in the air and started getting out all the things I needed. Sometimes a little blindly, always with a recipe. Thank God. Stay in the day. Be […]
I moved my office to The Building, instead of home. I finally realized this made the most sense. We have the Cre8tive Escape for freelancers, artists and other creatives and we were all full-up, which is good. But someone could no longer rent, which made an office/studio available. There is less of a risk of distraction if I plant myself here every day that I can, to work. I still freelance, aside from a couple other jobs. When I am not working those couple of other jobs, I really need to be writing. I need to be writing. My small desk sits in front of a window that faces the back of the post office, a gas station, a liquor store, main street. I am looking at the tops of buildings, since our building sits a little higher. I always feel the history of this place, rumbling underneath all the new, like the […]
We played music while removing the wallpaper in Elsie’s room. Another day, Nanny and Bapa came and helped us paint the walls purple. That little girl is in purple heaven. We played music while cooking and doing dishes. I looked over at her in the midst of all the doing, and she was dancing. I took her hands and spun her around. We got the giggles. I dipped her, I twirled her. We shook our booties. The weather took a turn for the even more cold, and we rush from one inside to another. Boots, hats, mittens, coats…it’s all so time-consuming and still needed, for the few seconds it takes to run to the car or the house and all the places. It is tempting to stay put, hide, cover ourselves and wait. But we need to keep going, we need to dance. Lately, if I’m being as open as I can be […]
