There was a force in the social media world named Susan Niebur. (Many of you may have known her as @WhyMommy) Susan used her influential voice on and offline to educate, empower and inspire. On February 6, 2012 Susan passed away, but I’m not going to say she lost her battle with cancer. That phrase doesn’t sit right in my heart-gut, not when speaking of anyone who has died after living with cancer. The word lost and Susan just don’t go together because her legacy, the way she fought to bring awareness to the world, will be kicking cancer’s ass until a cure is found. So I think I’ll change my first sentence to, “There is a force in the social media world named Susan Niebur”. That’s not just hyperbole, my friends. That’s the truth. This spitfire of a woman with a blog called Toddler Planet changed the planet and that’s why Maggie and I […]
Happy Friday to you. My friend Teri is such a lovely person. When we get on the phone, I feel…comforted. We talk a long time and say more than people usually say and it’s comfortable because she’s unconditional. I just wanted you to know that. On Fridays, Teri has Favorite Quote Fridays on her site Keeping It Personal. She asked me to share one of my favorite quotes this week over there and I was so honored. You can head over to Keeping It Personal to read my quote and why I chose it–how it’s the one that encompasses so much of how I want to live. (Rilke will do that.) What’s one of your favorite quotes? And why do you love it? You guys, this is Teri’s book, Overcoming the Nevers and I’m reading it right now. So many times I’ve thought about how the 12 steps could help so many […]
ROOM 4246 That’s right, friends. Maggie and I are back to BlogHer this year in New York City to provide a low-key and relaxing space to take a break from all the beautiful conference madness–scheduling, sessions, socializing, parties and the busy New York City streets. This peaceful place? The Serenity Suite! We’ll be located in a lovely BlogHer sponsored suite in the very hotel where the conference is taking place, and we’re working hard to provide a warm and inviting comfortable space to relax, rejuvenate, regroup and talk with friends, old and new. (This is a great place to set up that “let’s get together at BlogHer!” meeting with the blog friend you feel so connected to but haven’t yet had the chance to meet in person.) Come and visit us at the Serenity Suite, have a cup of coffee or tea, a yummy dessert or three and say hello to the hosts […]
The parenting books don’t detail things that can’t be explained. Like the emotions you go through with a premature delivery and hour after hour in the NICU and then hours pacing around the dining room table with a crying infant. “…I passed the weeks in an exhausted daze, unable to get my mind around the ways my life had changed. And for the first time in my life, I felt desperate for words, for some way to express the changes I was undergoing as an isolated new mother.” ~Kate Hopper “Through my blog and teaching I discovered exactly what I expected: women–mothers–crafting memoirs and essays dealing with issues of identity, loss and longing, neurosis and fear, ambivalence and joy. I found stories about transformation and how the authors see themselves in relation to the world in which they live. Last time I checked, this was the stuff of which real literature was made.” […]
The weekends have been rolling through with paintbrush strokes lately. There have been many more bright yellows and reds where there had been a lot of darker things, like depression and colic. We are moving now, wheels turning down the road to places with familiar faces and isn’t it silly that I started to wonder if that would ever happen again? If we would always stand still? You do, you know? You start to believe that “it will always be this way” whatever that way is, but it never stays. We have that one constant, in counting on change. You would think I’d be sure of it by now but I still get scared sometimes when things are hard. I get scared they will only stay hard or get harder. But this weekend Miles had a play date and there was a pizza fundraiser and a huge indoor garage sale where I got […]
{This post is actually about this week’s Just Write, but it takes me a bit to get to the point. Please forgive. Heh.} Hi friends. I was just thinking about how I randomly write about things and then other things and some small and beautiful things and other Big Things and then I change the subject and stop bringing up things and it’s probably because my brain is so very scattered… so my blog is too! Anyway. I want to do an update-ish sort of thing soonly because of that (like about Elsie and how she’s being assessed because of her gross motor skills being a bit lacking and about that whole post tubal ligation craziness and about upcoming good things…) But for now, I want to talk about this coming Tuesday because if you do Just Write with me (or would like to try) it’s going to get even better because you’ll […]
I have some really good news. My friend Ellie got her pathology report back on Friday and she’s in remission! Cancer freeeeeee! Of course, she’ll be watched closely in the coming months and years, but after the surgery to remove the rest of her tumor and surrounding lymph nodes, she got nothing but GOOD NEWS. Good news is so good. Ellie and I have some other exciting news to share (coming soon) but for now, because of that news, I’m curious about where you are. Where do you do life? Here in Minnesota? Over by Ellie in Massachusetts? In England? The moon? Kentucky? Indiana? Could you leave me a comment that tells me what country or city and/or state you live in? (I promise I’m not trying to trick you into becoming someone that I follow around with binoculars.) If you normally don’t comment, it’s very easy. Let me tell you how: you […]
I’ve been using Picnik to edit my photos for years. So when I got the message that Picnik would be closing, I was worried that I’d never edit another photo because I am completely incapable of using Photoshop haven’t learned how to use Photoshop yet. I get asked quite often how I take my pictures; what camera I use (Nikon D60) and how I edit. I have been giving Nikon and Picnik all the credit for the way my pictures look. Now I’m going to be giving credit to PicMonkey. Thanks to She Posts, I learned about this new site and in my humble opinion, it works even more smoothly than Picnik. (Aside from not saving your photos right on the site, but I’m okay with that because they’re already saved to my computer. And it’s most likely why you don’t have to register or sign in or create an account to use […]
People are like moths to a flame; humans to drama. It’s like we’re so otherwise bored by our existence that we just can’t stand to refrain from flocking to the gossip, the gasping stories. Like most teen girls, I was especially fond of drama, in high school. Now, it makes my stomach hurt and then I turn from it toward my life. If you’re not in the Internet/social media/blogging world, you aren’t aware that there’s drama here just like everywhere else and people get to truly know each other or sort of know each other and they talk about all the goings on. Like how ladies in long dresses used to talk on porches over lemonade, except now it’s a broadcast on Twitter and Facebook and blogs. No matter what the gasping topic or its validity, it’s like a gawker slow down in which the focus is suddenly taken from good things, and […]
I was talking to my friend Ann and she described the boost we get from creativity and connecting as a spiritual airlift and I was all, YES. That’s the best thing to say and yes. Then one night I was mixing baby cereal and Elsie didn’t think I was doing it fast enough, and with her teething fuss fussing she was MAD. So while I stirred I started lip-syncing and dancing to the music that was playing in the kitchen. She stopped crying and started watching, wide-eyed and smiling. I said to myself, Ellie would love this, because I think about Ellie and her struggle with cancer all the time. I think about how she’s too far away. And I know how much she loves it when I do weird things, so I knew that if she was there in the kitchen, she’d be dancing and laughing with us. Ellie and Elsie have […]
A big part of the reason that I blog is that I feel so un-heard so much of the time. Maybe that’s sad, but it’s just true. Every mother repeats herself far too many times before someone finally listens. It’s just part of the deal. The most lovely Erin said something that runs through my head every day, at least a few times, each day. It went something like this: I could martyr away nine lives and no one would come to even one funeral. The truth is, I martyr a lot. It’s like an old habit. Maybe much like drinking or smoking or eating too much. The pathways in my brain are all stomped down with sighs. I so easily tromp on through the same wooded incline, begging to be seen. So I could go on and on and on right now about how hard the last weeks have been, months really. […]
Elsie Jane is more magical than I could ever have imagined and it just keeps getting better. There aren’t enough words and there isn’t enough cyberspace to fit them in if I were to try to explain how much I love her. She has an ear infection that makes her mad. Oh, life. There are small things like ear infections and then really Big Things that are breaking my heart. It’s always something, huh? That’s why it’s so good that there are tiny soft socks and wrist wrinkles and wave-y little eyebrows that remind me of fuzzy caterpillars. These are the things we have to focus on. All the small things that make up grace. {I also wanted to tell you that I started as a columnist for She Posts this last week and I wrote about Steph from Adventures in Babywearing. I’m going to be writing there about people every week […]
The truth is that The Now is still really hard. I make jokes with Ryan that I wish we had loads of money so we could have loads of help. Would I really want to spend my money on loads of help? I don’t know. I fantasize about having a cleaning service and a cook and well…basically another Heather, to act like me when I just need a half hour to be Heather-Somewhere-Else. Do you see the little hole they’re peeking through in this picture. It made me think of blogging. How we get this peek into each other’s lives but we can really only see so much. No matter how authentic a person tries to be, the hole is only so big. So I really am who you see in there, but I just thought you should know that I’m sometimes a real jerk. I don’t say that to be mean to […]
I’m watching her discover her hand. She’s doing what babies do, she’s trying so hard to keep it in focus. I don’t know what that is or who it belongs to but I want it. Her little fist is clenched so tight and her eyes have the intensity behind them that shouts something like awe mingled with frustration. Her whole body shakes with need. She seems to be willing that hand of hers to do something it just will not do. Maybe she wants it to open. Let go. That thumb of hers has been driving her crazy for weeks the way it hides itself between pointer and index, like she’s playing the old trick, I’ve got your nose! She has never taken a pacifier and she wants her thumb but she just can’t seem to free it. I’m looking at her and I’m thinking me too because as much as I want […]
I’m whelmed over. On a whim I had the idea for Just Write and I quickly typed up a post inviting people to join me in free writing their moments and then WOW, did you ever show up, friends. I thank you so muchly. Let’s keep doing this, huh? I mean, your posts? They’re fantastic, and even if it’s going to take me all week to get through them, I’m going to read them all. There are some truly gifted writers out there! And together we’re discovering that if we get ourselves out of the way (thinking too much about what or how to say things), our words find freedom. THEN, it gets even better because as we write the memories of moments in our lives, the true beauty of every kind of moment shows up. I just love it. If you missed it this week, come back next week and join us. […]
Do you want to write with me? I would love it if you would. {Edited to let you know: The current Just Write, complete with a linky for you, can be found HERE. Read on to learn how it works} I had this idea because I love both reading and writing things that are freely written in the moment, things that are descriptive of experience. Whether that be in the actual moment or within a day or two of living something, I don’t care. I just think the details need to be fresh for the writer and then typed without over-thinking in an effort to clarify. What ends up revealing itself when free-writing is that everything has meaning. That is a magnificent gift of writing. If we write from a free heart-gut place, our souls start speaking. So here’s my idea! Every Tuesday, here at The EO, we can link up our freely written […]
wicker bending to hold intertwined and tight with empty oval spaces for hands grasping and lifting I’m a wicker basket, I said to myself. I was sitting on the bed, staring down at a storage chest made from wicker. I doubt I can remember the analogy all that well right now, but I’m going to try. It’s 5:30 in the morning in San Diego. Elsie is sleeping soundly for the first time all night…or morning. My lovely friend, co-host to the Serenity Suite and constant helper with all things baby, Ellie, is up with me. We laughed at ourselves because this sweet baby is finally at rest and now we cannot. Our time zones betray us. This trip and conference and hosting of the suite is all so much. It is so much good while it is so exhausting, especially while my head is buzzing with a high-speed need to think only of Elsie while I […]
In just over a week, Elsie and I will leave on a jet plane and head to California for our first trip together! We’ll be attending the BlogHer conference in San Diego. I’m so excited to show off my sweet Elsie, to get some face time with far-away friends and to be a part of the Serenity Suite again this year. The suite was quite the success last year and it was an honor to help provide this space for people to relax and get some support in the midst of a beautifully busy conference experience. With Serenity Suite planning in full swing again this year, Maggie and I wanted to be sure attendees have all their questions answered in one place. You’ll find our best efforts to cover all the suite info. below. If you’re attending the conference, please stop by and visit us! ::: What is the Serenity Suite? Open throughout […]
This is the place that opened my eyes to the creativity that had gone silent in me. It has been a place to scrawl heartbroken and then sometimes joyous words about motherhood, my Asher’s medical condition, or my own addiction–words to the not-at-all-empty spaces out there, on the other side of the screen. Words not to spaces at all, but to people. It’s been a therapeutic and priceless space, this thing we call blog. Then this thing happened with my web address; a thing that leaves the visits to this site substantially less than before the whole loss of the web address all the readers were once able to find. (Bear with me! I know this sounds very petty and ridiculous…and I know numbers don’t really matter…and I know that it will be fine…and even so, allow me to throw an analogy at you.) (Please.) It kind of feels like I was standing in an auditorium for the last four […]
After lunch and before Asher’s nap, and after dinner and before bedtime, we have cleanup time. I’m not one of those you-have-to-clean-as-you-go-throughout-the-day moms. Maybe I’m just too lazy to stay on top of that, so we do it twice a day. It works for us. Today as I was walking through each room before lunch, picking up strewn about clothes and Legos while the boys cleaned up the toy room, I noticed the difference in the sound my feet bring to the hardwood floors. It’s louder than before. I’m heavier. My ever-growing belly (and other areas) weigh more and more by the pregnant day. There was a strange comfort in the sound. thud thud thud.There I am. I’m here. Doing this. I can hear me, I must be here. So often a person can feel kind of invisible, just trapped in their own home and mind. This made me think of a conversation […]
If you’re here, I’m kind of surprised. *waves excitedly* A person can’t get here via the web address for The Extraordinary Ordinary anymore because I sort of kind of completely and totally forgot to pay for another year and then the web address gods were all “NO MORE extraordinary-ordinary.com for you!” (I’m a girl who really really needs her reminder emails, and since I did not receive even one, well…I failed to pay.) So for now, we’re back to a blogspot address. (www.theextraordinaryordinary.blogspot.com)I’m working on getting back my .com or switching to a .net or doing the hokey pokey or something; hopefully I’ll get it all figured out soonly. (Actually I don’t know how to figure any of this out, but Sarah does and she is so kind to help me. Thank you, my friend.) For the most part, for now, I think this means hardly anyone will find this space. Which is […]
I got home from Nashville last night wiped out and ready-ready-ready to sit with my boys. We read books and talked about the last few days and we watched some sort of superhero dog movie. We were so happy to see each other, and I swear to you, they aged a year while I was gone. Thicker and longer and deeper and wiser. It’s insane. Later, after the boys were in bed, Ryan said, I still don’t know how you guys did that. He was referring to a story I told him the night before. I said that what we had done makes perfect sense to me–that Katherine and Ellie and I would have such a day with such an ending on our final day together in Nashville. I mean, we attended a conference with approximately 600-something other women, and as much fun as that is, it’s also exhausting. It does things to […]
Next week in Nashville, I’ll be speaking at the Blissdom ’11 Conference with friends Arianne and Cecily about writing and fighting the internal voices that try to hold us back. Taken from the Blissdom website, the description of our session~ Merciless Beauty and the Critical Beast: “Your story is bold. Your perspective is courageous and true. You sit down to write mercilessly, vulnerably, and then you hear them: an invisible army of critics in your head. Before you even hit publish, you begin to anticipate the feedback from your outspoken audience. And so you pull back and self-censor. Or do you? How much do you edit yourself before your strong voice becomes watered down by the focus-group tendencies of social media audiences? How can we confidently respect the integrity of our stories while being mindful of our readers? Learn to write with unadulterated beauty while nailing down elusive terms such as “voice” and […]
{I’m joining Steph today in recapping my words in 2010. Thank you, friend} In 2010I said, Oh friends, here’s my truthand then you were so gracious to me,all year. I told you about the want want wantand the freedom of a safe placeand ended up helping you and me bothin our understanding of addiction and its propensityto steal a person.(I want to always always remember the people in that post.) ::::: In 2010 I came away from many conferences and itmade me want to say,I am not a “big” blogger and neither are you and neither are they-we are all the same and fighting rhinos. (yes, rhinos.)(and I also called Mommybloggers the Mary Kay ladies of the Internet)(ahem) ::::: Then strangely enough I ended up on TVand then it was weird to hear my thick accentand see my frown lines up so close.But you were still so kind and supportiveand loving and I […]
I like to just say it like it is. So here’s the dealio. Word on the social media street is that the Creative Alliance event was thought to be some kind of elitist thing. There was an impression that there were secret invitations sent out and that everything about it was exclusive and somehow fancy. That’s okay. Those are the misconceptions that happen all the time with this kind of thing or that kind of thing or all things. In reality, this event was more of an experiment than anything else and therefore it was casual and profoundly simple in the best kind of organic-focus-on-what-matters kind of way. As a member of the team that was involved in making it happen (I take only a very very small bit of credit for that), I can admit that none of us really knew anything except that we trust Lee and her vision and her […]
7 days since my last post. Now that’s a record. I am far too wordy for this kind of blog break. I spent Thursday through Sunday of last week in Ojai California for the Creative Alliance event. I’m so rarely speechless, but friends, this experience has left me speechless indeed. Therefore, I’m working on a creative way to share the memories with few words. Which is to say that I’m working on a bit of a project. Which is to say I’m doing something I don’t really have time to do. Which is to say that nothing much has changed about me. Except a lot of things. Yes. Dare I say that this past weekend was life-changing? Because it wasn’t just helpful and informative about all things social media, it was inspiring and encouraging, centering and affirming. It was about personal strengths and goals and believing. It was about life and soul sister […]
You’re welcome. I’m totally not as freaking hilarious and adorable as these two toot knockers, but if you’d still like to meet me and hang out and stuff, I’m giving away a ticket to the I_Blog Conference in Iowa this November 5-7! I’ll be there, waxing philosophical on all things blogging as a speaker, and then at night I will be happily tucked in my bed at the beautiful Hotel Pattee, where the conference is being held. It’s truly an honor to be a part of this enriching and well-planned event full of great informative sessions and opportunities to get your chat on with fellow bloggers. To enter for the free conference pass: Leave a comment on this post. (If you have trouble with my comment thingy, please email me at heatheroftheeo(at)gmail(dot)com with your entries. I apologize if you have to do this, but sometimes that thingy is wonky and I just don’t […]
On this day 3 years ago, I published my first blog post. October 3, 2007. It was a simple post sharing pictures from a day at an orchard. This space had an entirely different name then, and I had very little idea what the blog world was all about. I certainly had no idea what this blogging gig would end up meaning to me. I had no idea it would be this meeting place, this connection to people I’ve come to know and love, people who have supported me with or without telling me they’re reading, through so much. Three years ago, I had no idea, about so many things. In these last few years, our family has walked through Asher’s diagnosis and surgery, moving, my addiction and decision to get sober, and all the changes that every new year brings for any family. I’ve shared so much of our journey in this […]
I had the honor of speaking at the Type-A Mom Conference in Asheville, North Carolina last weekend. I had such a great time, I really did. If you’re considering conferences in your future, this is an excellent choice, yes, even if you are SO not Type-A, like moi. The sessions were informative, enriching and inspiring, the location was beautiful and the size and flow of the conference itself were just perfect. A big thank you to Kelby for all the hard work making this gig happen. Lady, it was so good. ~~~~~I thought I’d take a moment to tell you what Type A moms are like.In an effort to keep you informed. Ahem… Type-A moms are: always connected… Arianne and creating… Allie and energetic… Danielle and fantastic… Katherine Megan Sara Sophia Ashleigh and willing to eat fancy desserts with me… maple vanilla cake at French Broad Chocolate Lounge (I ate every last bite) […]
I’m pretty sure that one of the strangest experiences a mother can have is to spend some nights in a hotel room alone. Strange and good and surreal and lonely and wonderful. That’s how it is for me anyway, especially since I’m traveling so much lately. I sat here last night in the silence, in Asheville, North Carolina and felt all of these opposite clashing emotions and of course they were, each of these feelings, tinged with a hint of guilt. Guilt is always the glitter on a mother’s art project, it seems. (Unless we work really hard at not feeling guilty, but that’s pretty difficult to do when we’re already exhausted.) (Amen?) (AMEN.) I’m convinced that one thing we mothers have got to try is living more and thinking less. Recently I heard it said that if you want to change how you think you have to live yourself there. It sounds […]
