Tuesday~June 30, 2009 He was so excited to go, but when it came right down to being left on that field with all the other little gloved T-ballers, he just wasn’t so sure. So he was the one, the one that battled his nerves and fought back tears. The one who didn’t follow when asked to run. The one playing in the sand to avoid the unknown. I wanted to hover, to push, to control the situation. I wanted to take his nerves and add them to mine, leaving him peaceful and confident. But I couldn’t, so I just waited, and watched from afar, hoping… He stood at the back, silent, small nervous movements, chewing nails and hiding under that visor. Kicking at the dirt and peeking out the side. So unsure. So new. So hard. They asked him to warm up with running and with stretching. He stood frozen in his fear, […]
Friday~June 26, 2009 He turns 14 4 this weekend. Although it appears that he was pulling some sort of GQ pose, the real story is that my dear Miles was in superhero mode. As you can see, an intense stare is required for that.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Really, how is it that time can move so slowly and so quickly all at once? And how is it that a mother can handle all of her opposite clashing feelings? I’m so over-joyed and thankful to have this boy in my life, and at the same time I want to weep with sadness over the passing of time. I want to hold him right now and keep him this way, but I’m also dying of anticipation, loving to watch every moment that comes next. It’s exhausting really. By the way, I want another Miles. Yes, I’ll take two any day. Or Asher, another Asher would rock. Or maybe […]
Sunday~May 17, 2009 He tried… and he tried… Then “Lil’ BooGoo” tried to help, butit’s hard to button a moving target… So BooGoo hung on the chair and waited… while “Bwuddah” tried and tried… UNTIL… He got it! (and felt the need to pose) The End. Thank you for allowing me to pop up in your inbox and for reading my words, silly or serious. I appreciate you. ~Heather
Miles went on his first solo trip this week. Well no, not ALONE. (Picture that-Miles off by himself, seeing the sights in New York City, hopping on the subway and grabbing a hot dog from a vendor.) But he did go on a little trip without Mommy and Daddy. My sister brought him home with her after she was here for Asher’s appointment on Thursday. He stayed one night at her house with his cousins and another night at Nanny and Bapa’s with cousin Max. He had a great time. When he got home yesterday, I was so excited to see him, I had to hold myself back from running to the car, snatching him out, and hugging him for the rest of the day. Oh, how I love that boy. Being away from Miles was a totally new thing for me. The whole time he was gone I kept thinking I forgot […]
You know those movies (Lifetime) or TV shows (soap operas) where someone is faking that they can’t walk? They’re pretending to be in need of others and getting lots of attention for it? Usually for money or something. And then you cut to the next scene, and they’re waiting for someone to leave the room. And after the person is gone, they slink right out of their wheelchair, over to the tray of crystal dishes and grab a quick brandy? Just as you suspected! Yes, I’ve seen enough of these shows to know when something’s fishy! Like the possibilty of this baby pretending to only be able to crawl, when he can actually WALK! Yesterday I rounded the corner to the kitchen, surprising Asher with my arrival, and lo and behold, what did I see? He was standing there holding on to… NOTHING! Uh huh. He was independent of assistance, appearing as comfortable […]
I brought the camera along when bringing Miles to his first day of preschool today. (of course!) At first I thought I would bring it just for a quick shot on the way in. Then I decided to take a few extras for a picture story – the story that makes today’s post…Miles thought it was cool that we headed off to actually go to the school we’ve visited so many times. He’s been looking forward to it for weeks. Me, on the other hand? Well, I was just a jumble of thoughts and emotions and wasn’t really expecting that. (And yes, Asher’s car seat has a leopard print cover. Don’t ask.) Miles is such a strong, resilient, happy person. He took off, saying “Mom, walk up here with me.” He got a little nervous, turning a bit uneasy when we entered the bustling building, and started chewing crazily at his nails. I […]
Do you have that piece of paper handy? The one with the long list of things that, according to the doctor, might be wrong with Asher? I mean, it’s been quite a year. There was concern that he was missing part of his digestive system (xrays at Children’s=no abnormalities). There was concern that he had the worst case of reflux ever to hit a baby (he drinks barium at 2 months, at Children’s, has another xray=we find out he indeed has reflux, but just the usual variety). And then there was the concern that there was a hole in the digestive system (more xrays). And then we saw a GI specialist, etc…. Oh! And don’t forget all that went wrong with the circumsicion and the the urology appointments. Don’t forget that, that’s fun too… Asher is strapped in to some sort of hold-the-baby-upright-device with his arms over his head for these xrays. He […]
One year ago today, Asher Michael entered the world. He came C-section, and the doctors placed bets immediately on how much he would weigh. They were all way off, with their 9lb, some oz. guesses. They aimed too low. Ryan came back from the weighing and measuring, laughing and saying, “you aren’t going to believe this.” Then he proudly announced, “10, 10!” I said, “What do you mean? Ten what?” I was convinced he was joking, or talking about some sort of other measurements I’ve never heard of. I was delirious, woozy, cold and anxious to meet Asher. He repeated the numbers, explaining that our baby weighed nearly 11 lbs. I was silenced. (That doesn’t happen much.) Then we laughed. And laughed. NO WAY! How did he fit in there? NO WONDER my back hurt so badly this pregnancy! When we were introduced, I couldn’t believe his size and couldn’t stop kissing his […]
Look! The Ash Man pulled himself upand stood!New trick! New trick! These are my kids. They are exhaustedafter much fun and play this 4th of Julyat Nanny and Bapa’s.This is what they do whenthey lose their minds… And this is what Ryan does when he loses his mind.He plays in a kiddie pool by himselfwhile his son opens birthday presents. Thank you for allowing me to pop up in your inbox and for reading my words, silly or serious. I appreciate you. ~Heather
Miles often says, “tell me about that venture,” which is a way of saying, “tell me a story about an adventure.” Lately we tell him the story of the day he was born. At his current age, (three today!) he thinks it’s a pretty boring tale. He often adds a dinosaur or a giant to mix it up a bit. I on the other hand am thrilled there were actually no dinosaurs or giants, because I was already terrified enough as it was. Scared of labor, scared of the pain, scared of the unknown, scared to bring a life into this crazy world… I can’t believe we are three years removed from that day. I made a dvd of photos from the last few years, set to music for Miles’ birthday. I could sit and watch it all night. I let it run during his party today. Every once and awhile I could […]
And here is Asher, struttin’ his stuff: I’m beginning to truly understand how hard it is for this poor boy to crawl. That head!! It is SO heavy… He crawls about five feet and then rests it on the ground. No lie. But he’s pretty proud of himself anyway. I would be too, if I had to strain my neck and back that much, just to get around! So he looks up frequently like, “I DID IT!!!” Oh, the ninety-ninth percentile. It’s a heavy load to bear. Thank you for allowing me to pop up in your inbox and for reading my words, silly or serious. I appreciate you. ~Heather
The kids and I had to get out of the house today. I made the mistake of asking Miles where he would like to go. He said the play place at the mall. I said something like, “really?” He was sure. Anyway, we ran other errands and I started to truly dread the mall, the double stroller, the chaos… We came up to a light and I couldn’t help but notice the golden arches to my right. Hmmmm. Mistake #2 of the day was asking if the play place at MickeyD’s would suffice… ugh. Miles has been to the play place one other time in his life. Luckily we were with friends that day. I was pregnant with a (very) large Asher, and Miles couldn’t find his way out of the “tunnels” in the play place. My friend climbed her way through and saved his life. That was a long time ago, so […]
Today we had tacos. Being the incredibly good mother that I am, I pulled Asher’s into bite size pieces. Then he cried and stared at me and banged his hands on his high chair while I tried to enjoy my regular-sized taco. He hates it when someone is eating something bigger than he is. Finally I handed him a full-sized taco, being the wonderful mother that I am. Just to see what would happen. And to stop the screaming. And whatayaknow, he just chomped away, taking bites while giggling and smiling. He didn’t even come close to choking. He knew what the heck he was doing. “Hmmm,” I thought. “Sometimes my boys know better than I do what they might be ready for. “ (No worries, I’m not going to hand him a whole hot dog or an apple straight off the tree, no worries…)Oh! And by the way Asher is currently beginning […]
Okay. So Asher still isn’t crawling. I would like to say I’m totally cool with this. And I am. In the sense that he doesn’t go anywhere or do anything without me knowing it. That, my friends, is totally cool with me. But I have to admit that I’m getting a bit nervous. Just a little. A smidgen. The worry monster is tap-tap-a-tappin‘ every now and again. There. I said it. He’s ten months old for goodness sake (no offense, Ash Man, I love you dearly)!!! How long do we go with the doctor’s explanation of “low muscle tone?” Isn’t a body’s ability to gain muscle tone somewhat important? It appears his tone is anti-gaining. So now I’m thinking too much about this and have to keep reminding myself that Asher is not going to be sixteen and still sitting on the floor turning circles and crying because he can’t go anywhere. I […]
Just a visual for comparison of Asher’s size to that of a 3 yr old: Olivia Asher is saying a lot of things now. I don’t remember (sadly) when Miles started to say his first words. I just know he has quite the vocabulary at this particular point in his journey. It seems like Asher is supposed to be unable to do such “grown-up” things though. Like he’s still a newborn. Maybe cause he’s literally the baby of the family? Or maybe because the first six months of his life were a blur of crying, sleep deprivation and insanity? I’m guessing it’s that one. I can’t figure out how he learned anything amidst all the turmoil! But he sure did! He’s so alert and aware all the time, taking things in and trying to say things I’m not sure he should understand. For instance I’ve been trying to teach him sign language for […]
Miles (after throwing a rock) – “A man has to do that stuff.” Asher is sleeping SO much these days. I won’t go into detail, but it’s funny how we wanted him to sleep so badly and now that he sleeps a whole bunch I worry he could be sick. Maybe I’m sick.Asher is also consistently trying to say ball whenever he’s holding one and uses the same “BA” for balloon. He says mama, but mostly when he’s really mad that I’m not picking him up. Which is any time that I put him down. He’s constantly getting teeth and would prefer the comfort of our arms and who can blame him. I couldn’t even handle getting my wisdom teeth two at a time. This poor boy gets four teeth at a time (twice) and now is getting more in the back. ouch. He’s also starting to move! Oh no, don’t do it. […]
While I’m still working on getting things back to normal on the blog, I’m finding I too like the blue. It’s like the sky. Or how I hope the sky will be most of the time this Spring. Although rain isn’t terrible. Just ask Miles, “it goes in the dirt and makes the flowers grow.” Point taken.My mom is here for a visit and just cut Miles’ hair. He thought that was not the best idea at first, but now that it’s cut he says it’s beautiful.Asher had his nine month appointment on Thursday. He isn’t quite as hefty as we assumed, falling in the 57th percentile for weight. He was 50 something for height too, and that noggin of his fell once again in the 99th! We also discussed pooping at length. It’s so weird how normal it is to talk with such freedom about bodily waste. But hey, it’s a concern. […]
Some things to remember about 2yr. old Miles and 8mo. old Asher:Lately Miles thinks it’s really cool to say “poopy” – REALLY cool. Asher has started to talk!!! He says “ball” a lot. – his first and favorite word.Miles is totally into giants, superheros and the like and can imagine anything.We are out and about nearly every weekday morning, and home most afternoons.Both boys nap at around 12:30 or 1:00pm, leaving me a good half hour of “free time.” Miles still has the BEST sense of humor, cracking little jokes and understanding ours. Asher laughs hysterically at throwing stuff (snow off the shovel or a ball are his favs).Both boys are SUPER ticklish, all over, all the time.Miles currently LOVES to “help” do dishes. We go with it and clean the floor later.Miles is still SO into cars and tools. He helps daddy downstairs and in the garage.On Tuesdays and Thursdays when Miles […]
Miles is working on winking: He’ll get there! Asher LOVES Tia. Tia is indifferent. Thankfully, Tia is a gentle giant. Miles made up a little song when Asher was crying the other day: “Asher don’t cryyyyy, Cause I’m not bye byyyyeeeee.”Cause I don’t want to leave you here…Or heeeerrre.” I couldn’t believe that he made it rhyme. Kids really are amazing. Asher now has four teeth. He pretty much got them all at the same time (yow). He also rolls around to get where he wants to go (which is usually to try to grab things he shouldn’t have). Miles has learned how to act out the true tantrum (kicking, hitting and screaming included). I’ve heard that age three is like that no matter how you try to make it go away. We’ll get through it. I’m not sure that I’ll be sane when it’s over, but what parent is? We are trying […]
My friend Emily is an excellent photographer. She is quite the talent at this endeavor. I just wanted to mention this in case you’d like some really cool lookin‘ pics. Click on her name to see her totally awesome web-site. Now on to the BIG news of the day… ASHER HAS ENTERED THE LAND OF THE CHEWING!!!He has three teeth coming in at once. Poor guy. But gettin‘ it all done quickly, I guess. I had been feeling his gums all morning, thinking something may be happening. But I’ve been thinking that for about three months. Then Katie came over. She was with Asher when I went to pick up Miles from school. When I got back she said she could see one and a half teeth coming in. And you can feel one on the other side too. I couldn’t believe that within one morning they popped out. It’s so crazy! Babies […]
I read in a magazine recently that there are MILLIONS and more millions of blog sites out there. It said that most of these on-line journals are written for two people, “the blogger themselves and the blogger’s mother.” I had to laugh cause it’s pretty true. It’s not like many bloggers have hit some sort of famous author status. And if so, it may be possible it will be one of those fifteen minute types of fame. I think about that sometimes because as I’m writing I often forget my words are read by a (small) handful of people. I’m mostly doing this as a journal for my family. I would love the boys to know what they were up to and when. I would also like to be able to look back over all my feelings. I guarantee that I will hardly remember it. I have a pretty short memory for important […]
Miles’ school had their Christmas program today. It was a hoot! Miles mostly just stood there looking at all the other kids singing and doing actions. He’s a silent observer type, you know. The picture on the right is Miles’ best friend from school. He’s from Norway and his name is Johanis (YO HAHN ISS or HAHNUS, if you’re Miles). The kids danced and sang and we had cookies. What could be better during the Christmas season in Milesy’s world? He loves his friends. There were kids from many countries and they brought “gifts” to the manger scene while holding their flag. It was so touching. I love that Miles goes to a school with such a “variety” of kids. To him being different from himself isn’t even noticeable because he’s always been around such an eclectic group. He goes to school at Luther Seminary. There are a lot of kids of Seminary […]
The boys are freshly in bed and Ryan is out to a movie with his brother, Kevin. Moments like these are so weird for me. Just me. And Tia. And the computer. So I get to finish my “weekend update.” I talked about the concert yesterday. It was great. Everyone should go to a Sara Groves concert at least once. She’s so talented and tells great stories. She makes you think about things in brand new ways and is so genuine about it. She talked a lot about IJM (International Justice Mission). They were beautiful stories of lawyers and other law enforcement officials going into the darkest places in many different countries to make change. In short, they go for justice. They do a lot of work in Africa with orphaned families of the AIDS crisis. In Asia they do a lot of work to close down brothels where children are sold into […]
This sticker came on a pair of socks – “Don’t panic, I’m organic!” We thought it was funny to put it on Asher’s head. Yup, I’m one of “those” moms, I guess. I do my best to buy organic for Miles and when Asher eats more than milk, I’ll do the same for him. As I sit here, eating my Froot Loops, I’m thankful for the realization our country has had about organic foods and products. My generation grew up consuming more processed foods than ever before. Our parents had no idea how truly unhealthy this is and who could blame them? I am still addicted to many of these foods, hence the Froot Loops. It’s sad to admit I’m not as concerned about what I put into my body as I am about my boys. Maybe I’ll “get there” some day but for now I’m holding tight to some of my favorite […]
Miles thinks his “big boy bed” is actually called a good boy bed. I don’t know how that happened. I really never did tell him he’s not good until he sleeps in it. He just sometimes gets mixed up and it always makes me smile. So he’s in his “good boy” bed right now as I write this. I have a knot in my stomach. Mostly because it’s one of those undeniable not-a-baby-anymore moments. He’s a kid now. He’ll even tell you so. I can’t believe how time has gone. I realize I say that a lot but that’s because it’s so true. I remember the bassinet and then the pack and play. And then I remember how well he slept the first night in his own room in his own big crib and how I felt sad that we were “so far away” from each other. Then we needed to lower the […]
I’ll get around to making pumpkin bread, but in case I don’t, here’s the recipe – it’s SUPER good pumpkin bread. My sister made it recently and I couldn’t stop eating it. It’s a Taste of Home recipe for pumpkin bread with a cream cheese filler: 1 can pumpkin 1 cup and 2 Tbsp. sugar 1/2 cup brown sugar 4 egg whites (divided 3 and 1) 1/2 cup milk 1/4 cup canola oil 2 cups flour 2 1/2 tsp. Baking Powder 2 tsp. pumpkin pie spice 1/4 tsp. salt 1 pkg cream cheese (8 oz) Heat oven to 350. Mix pumpkin, 1 cup sugar, brown sugar, 3 egg whites, milk and oil. Add flour, baking powder, pie spice and salt. Stir just unitl moistened. Filler: Beat cream cheese, 2 Tbsp sugar, and remaining egg white until blended. Put half the pumpkin batter in loaf pan. Spoon cream cheese mixture evenly over the top […]
Good news everyone! It appears that our “little” Asher is on the road to recovery. He’s finished his twelve step “stop crying” program and has joined us in the land of the smiling. These may have been the longest three months of our lives, but isn’t it something how trials can also then feel like the best times in life. We have more character now! Or maybe just another character in our family. (: Asher is a joy to have around. Miles continues to want to eat him up with love and affection. Miles is talking up a storm. He just walked up to me and said, “mommy, I’m right here, look at my bring, I need to take a bath, hey, how do you get this thing off? My flashlight, I find this thing apart.” Um… okay honey. I don’t know which part to respond to really. Maybe you could clarify…. These […]
