Sometimes my Mama Bear instincts surprise me. It happens when Miles or Asher gets hurt and that heart-wrenching cry pierces my ears and then quickly makes the leap to my heart. I fly into defensive and protective mode. Sometimes it takes a moment for me to gather my wits and deal calmly with the situation. Poor Ryan has been at the receiving end of Mama Bear’s irrational fight response a few too many times- I’ll say something like,”WHAT were you doing?!?” As if he sat idly by, indifferent to his child’s safety. My rational mind knows that he does all he can, just as I do. But Mama Bear looks to blame someone for accidental bumps and scrapes.I’ve noticed Mama Bear is also quite protective of my children’s feelings. Even though Asher doesn’t speak English (completely) yet. I still growl if someone says something unflattering. And just like when they get hurt physically, […]
Miles (after throwing a rock) – “A man has to do that stuff.” Asher is sleeping SO much these days. I won’t go into detail, but it’s funny how we wanted him to sleep so badly and now that he sleeps a whole bunch I worry he could be sick. Maybe I’m sick.Asher is also consistently trying to say ball whenever he’s holding one and uses the same “BA” for balloon. He says mama, but mostly when he’s really mad that I’m not picking him up. Which is any time that I put him down. He’s constantly getting teeth and would prefer the comfort of our arms and who can blame him. I couldn’t even handle getting my wisdom teeth two at a time. This poor boy gets four teeth at a time (twice) and now is getting more in the back. ouch. He’s also starting to move! Oh no, don’t do it. […]
Suddenly Asher is waving, saying ball and mama, and eating a lot of what we’re eating. How did that happen? With these two “new” people around me all the time, I find one of the best parts is how that makes me look at life like they do. Sometimes Miles will ask “why” about the simplest thing that I had forgotten to pay attention to and really take in, and it’s like it’s new for me too because I have to think through how I’m going to answer him in simple terms.These are the times when I think about how tiring it must be to be 2.75 years old. To be so new to everything and learning so much every day. And so much of it seems strange! Why DO people need to sleep? Why IS the stuff on trees called BARK? That’s what a dog does! I’m sure that’s why kids go […]
True confessions of a mom who doesn’t take care of herself: Usually I completely forget to “get ready” in the morning. I feed and dress the boys (which also includes fighting with Miles about what to wear and whether or not there is butter on his waffles, while constantly throwing cheerios in Asher’s direction to try to keep the beast at bay). Then as we are about to go out the door I run to the bathroom, take a peek in the mirror and gauge how much oil is gleaming from my hair. That’s it. That’s the extent of my morning beauty routine. If said hair is especially greasy I find a way to hide that. That’s one good thing about winter; hats. Let’s just say that if I brush my teeth, apply deodorant and remember to change out of my pj’s, I feel good enough about myself to show my face to […]
It has come to my attention that I have completely snowed a few people. Some friends and acquaintances that read this blog have mentioned that they feel they aren’t doing enough as mothers, or doing it “right” when they read some of my posts. I thought something along the lines of, “holy crap, have I been making stuff up?!? How will I make it clear that I’m NO Mother of the Year!?” So, first of all, here are some pictures that might help… This is my kitchen counter. It’s hard to tell because there are so many dishes and other random things covering every bit of the surfaces. My kitchen may not always look this way, but it does a lot. In the right-hand photo, if you look close enough, you will see evidence of a trip to McDonald’s! The horror! See? I’m not all organic all the time, no way! Also, please […]
Something that is pretty important to me in parenting is averting my children’s attention from media and commercialism. I recognize what an extreme effect our American culture has had on my own mind. As a parent, I have to face how even more extreme it is today. The impact of the messages that we are fed is pretty incredible, subconscious or not. I was happy to hear someone speak on this earlier today and wanted to share some things that were shared with me. First of all, the average child spends 44 hours a week in front of the TV, video games, and/or computer. The average child spends 3 hours per week in one-on-one meaningful contact with a parent. I recognize now some very negative messages I was fed my entire life that I had no idea were having an effect on me. I thought myself immune to the barrage of messages feeding […]
I never really wanted to take my kids to the mall play area. But now I get it. It’s desperation that does it to a mom. When all you want is for the temps to stay above 40 so you can hang outside, and then it snows again…you go to the mall whether you like it or not. Just to get out and have your kids get good and tired so they’ll nap well. I would like to share what you always find at the play place at the mall (besides a bazillion germs). Stereotypical or not, it’s the truth…The Parents:The Hovering Over-protector – there’s always at least one. I used to be her.The Competitor – usually many more than one (“oooh, he’s been crawling for months…”)The Grumpy Grandma – today, we met a doozy. Mackenzie got in trouble for having Ellorie with her in the play area. I guess she’s too young […]
Today is one of those days that just feels good. First of all, the weather! Oh, what a relief. Monday we had a blizzard and today I watched a convertible drive by with it’s top down. Crazy Minnesotan! But I totally get it. If I had a convertible, my top would be down too!I watched “Ellen” this morning too, which is always a special treat for me. I don’t turn on regular TV with the kids around (call me crazy but I hate it when they see commercials). But anyway, Miles was at school and Asher was asleep so I got to catch some of the show. There was a guy on that recently boated across the Atlantic. Now, that’s no big deal if you’re on a ship or a boat with a motor, but we’re talkin’ ROW boat. I’m sure many people think the dude is a total nutcase. But me? I […]
I had a conversation recently about attachment disorders and how they start with a lack of love, bonding, and attachment in the first three years of life. These are the kinds of topics that raise the hair on my neck and start the spin cycle in my stomach. Then I am forced to take a deep breath and remind myself that I don’t ignore my children or intentionally withhold love in any way. Neither does Ryan so I think we’re okay. Maybe the dog hurts their feelings sometimes with her flippant snubs, but I’m hoping that’s different.After the deep breath and return to reality I’m usually okay, but sometimes the big worry monster wants to keep rearing her over-sized and sneaky head. She is usually just napping somewhere close enough nearby that if I walk by her, she snaps right up and hops on my back. Or maybe my shoulders. Then I carry […]
I was just standing in a doorway, using the angle of it to rub my aching back. The middle of it is going numb. I figure that’s not such a good thing. I’ve noticed that all the lifting, bending and carrying of these two sweet and hefty boys doesn’t bode well for my already questionable posture. I try to stand up straight and can actually hear every muscle in my back screaming, “Yeah right! We’re stuck in a hunched over curve, unable to loosen and stretch! Leave us alone to atrophy here!”I just got an email from you dear friend, Tiff. You implored, “please tell me this gets easier,” going on to say that Chloe won’t listen and Sam can’t nap because of sharing a room with this somewhat disruptive sibling. I wanted to write back and say that it does get easier. But I had a second thought because I didn’t want […]
I got LOST last night with Sabrina, Kelly and Kyle. It was fun. For those of you who don’t know, I’m a big fan of the TV show, LOST. So is Sabrina, and Kelly is a new member of the club. Even though she’s still kind of reluctant. It appears Kyle isn’t a fan, as he read a book through the whole show and made little snickers at the cheesy parts. We might still convince him… Other than that,earlier today I was standing in the kitchen and Miles walked up and said, “can you come downstairs with me Mom?” I thought, “who is this little person, calling me mom?” Sometimes it’s like that. I can’t figure out how I came to a point in my life that a whole new person (or two) would be around, calling me mom. Sometimes I’m still shocked by it, even though I’m going on three years of […]
This is Super Miles (obviously) wearing his cape (or “case,” as he likes to call it – it’s a burp cloth) and his “super sock,” tucked into his pj pants. He “flies” around the house, saying things like, “Be in trouble, mommy, I will rescue you from the giant!!!” This is Mr.Blue Eyes. Those eyes’ll get me every time. “When you reach the proper age, I will teach you to read and you can turn the pages. How to dress and tie your shoes. Your one plus ones and your two times twos. And you’ll teach me of hearts and dreams and all the most important things. And all that I have lost along the way. And I can’t wait. As you grow, I’ll show you things. How to ride your bike and kick your legs out on the swings. To fold your hands and bow your head, how to say your prayers […]
Take a rest with me mommy!Ryan brought me “you’re doing a good job”flowers: making the kkkkkhhh sound:Carrie recently posted a comment with a quote I love, “While you are trying to teach your children all about life, they teach you how to live.” Or something close to that, anyway. I love that. I guess my lessons from Miles and Asher are pretty simple these days, Rest whenever you can. If possible, with a loved one. Smile a lot and make silly faces to make people feel good. And then there’s my thoughtful husband, taking the time to make me feel appreciated with flowers, a book, and some candy. What a guy. If not for him, I’d surely be in the mommy loony bin. My boys are pretty great, if I do say so myself! Thank you for allowing me to pop up in your inbox and for reading my words, silly or serious. […]
In the last week or two, Miles has matured like he’s on some kind of steroids for the eager to age. SLOW DOWN, buddy. I can’t even believe some of the concepts he’s beginning to understand and the things he’s saying. He says them as if he’s fifteen. For instance, “NO faaiiirr, MOOOOM.” How does he understand what “no fair” means? Things like that blow my mind. Because if you know someone before they can even speak words and you hang with them daily, you get to see all these new things, and sometimes you just can’t wrap your puny mind around how much they’ve learned.It’s not so much the things he says, but how his voice has changed and how he’s become more and more full of expressive emotion. For instance, tonight I went into my room and noticed the light and ceiling fan weren’t working. Miles came in and said “let […]
Today Katie said “you better start reading those ‘strong willed child’ books now.” She is so right. Every time I hit a wall with Asher, not knowing how to get him to convert to my methods rather than his, I am reminded that I need to relax. Making jokes about it with Katie is one way I like to survive this. I’m also going to have to get over my control issues more than I thought I would have to. I know this is good for me, but my whole life if there has been a battle of the wills, I have WON!!! My parents, my sister, friends, boyfriends, teachers…you name it, I get the stubborn award. This is not a title I’m proud of. I have found many ways to rule every roost I’ve ever lived in, just ask Ryan. I’m not obviously this type of person, not even to myself, but […]
I like mornings. Not the waking up part, but the coffee and breakfast part. Ryan and I used to spend hours on the weekend mornings, reading the paper, doing the crossword, or reading a book, but always sipping coffee. Now we try to read the paper and end up reading it in parts, we never do the crossword, and only have time to read a few pages of a book at night if we’re lucky. But we still always sip coffee in the morning. It’s a good friend, that coffee. Lately we’ve gotten in the habit of putting a little whipped cream on the top as a treat. So unhealthy, but so good. Sometimes you just need a little treat.Things have really changed since the days of relaxed morning reading. I miss that a lot sometimes, even though I wouldn’t trade my current life for a million crossword mornings. Life is just far […]
I totally don’t have time to be doing this, so watch out for grammar and spelling issues! This week has been another insane single parenting week with Ryan out of town. THank the Lord God Almighty that he’s coming home tonight. Then I leave for Washington tomorrow to stay through Monday to be with Tiffany and her family as they go through this thing with Sam being in the NICU. Lana and I are going to majorly clean their house in hopes that Sam will be able to come there soon. Today I’ll take Asher to the Dr, as he’s got a high temp and is not sleeping at all in the last two days (okay, ten minutes here and there, I’ll stop exaggerating). poor little guy seems like he’s hurting. When I finally got him to sleep early this morning by propping on my chest in my bed, I breathed a very […]
On Friday morning some friends and I brought our kids to the Eagle’s Nest, which is THE BOMB of a place for little ones. There’s all kinds of climbing and sliding and running to do. In the past, Miles has stayed in the 0-3 year old side for the most part. But this time, he and favorite pal, Olivia ventured to the “big kid” side where there are those McDonald’s play land kind of pipe things to crawl through, with fire trucks and bulldozers just their size attached. Mackenzie and I were watching from below, trying desperately to see where our two little monkeys were, catching a glimpse of them here and there, and breathing little sighs of relief. They would come flying down the slide bouncing and grinning, then they’d burst off the end and continue high-speed, back to the stairs to climb up and do it again. They slowly warmed up […]
Here is magic for me: Today I went to Babies R Us and got two huge boxes of diaps, a huge tub of wipes, and bottle nipples for Asher’s ever-growing mouthy. I had coupons for 1.50 off both boxes of diaps. I had a 75cent off coupon for the wipes. THEN I had a coupon for a ten dollar gift card for buying the two boxes of diaps. AND a 15% off anything coupon that went for the bottle nipples. Sorry I keep saying nipples…. Anyway, I LOVE when I have coupons and save money on everyday things. I never knew that I would get all giddy over diaper coupons, but I do. I love impressing my husband with coupon combos. My happiness over this only proves the idea that there is joy in the small stuff.I also got a huge kick out of a new thing Miles did the other day. He […]
I love it when my calendar is full of activities. Each month, it slowly fills, week by week with things for the boys and I to do during the day. I cannot stand it when we are home, day after day without any real schedule. I guess for me, being a stay at home mom isn’t literal. Or I would be crazier than I already am! If we don’t have much to do, I find myself in my pj’s at 3pm, staring blankly at piles of dishes and laundry, unsure of what I should do with myself. If I then try to “make up” an outing, I do what I did today when I headed to the grocery store because I’m in charge of treats for tomorrow’s “Morning Blend,” a mom’s group I go to. I ended up buying heart candies (for me), a 99 cent box of gingerbread holiday cookies (for me), […]
You know those times in life when you have to smile (not all that genuinely), for what feels like forever and then your face hurts. Like family pictures. Or some work event where you have to entertain people you don’t know for hours on end and be really happy about it. Or even at a friend’s party where you’re being introduced to twenty new people. Maybe you don’t feel all that gleefully happy, but you look it! Just as a side note, I do so hate the moments where you have perma grin and you have to make really bad small talk. Not that all small talk is bad, but sometimes I’m really bad at it. Anyway, the point I am making is this: Sometimes being a stay at home mom feels like one of these events. Because you want to have your game face on, to appear as if you’re not totally […]
When Ryan and I were dating we’d make fun of our friends Cory and Twyla for going to the MOA so much. They have three lil’ ones and they’d retort, “hey, it’s fun for the kids and what the heck else are we gonna do in the winter!?!” So they got a BIG kick out of running into us at “Camp Snoopy” (I know it’s not camp snoopy anymore, but I can’t stop). We were there for my nephew’s birthday, we still don’t frequent the MOA much, but we did discover the joy in it for kids. Miles had a BLAST riding rides with his cousins. I even accompanied them on a couple. Now the fam is coming over here (my parents, my sister and husband, and their boys, Zach and Max). Ryan and I are going to escape tonight, what with all this extra help around. We have some restaraunt gift cards […]
I title this post for this short little ditty on the movie, Juno: It’s so good, go see it! It is funny and thought-provoking and heart-breaking and uplifting all at the same time. LOVE it. I got to go see it last night with Heather Spears and we both were just floored by it. It made us pretty weepy, we just couldn’t stop crying afterwards. Then we got the giggles because of all the non-stop crying. Maybe I’m making this movie sound like a downer. But it’s not, it’s just so well done. I don’t even know how to explain so I’ll stop rambling now. GO JUNO! Now onto an update on the little boys I live with. This photo is of the sticker decal thingys Miles got from Nanny and Bapa for Christmas for his walls. He also got bedding with these same vehicles on it and he loves to be in […]
“WHO needs SLEEP? NOT ME!” I am someone who believes in the power of prayer. So why don’t I pray more? I ask myself this a whole lot. I’ll be wracked with worries, overwhelmed with everyday life, consumed with anxiety about the smallest and the biggest things, and yet I will forget to pray. I understand a few reasons why I’m not all that prayerful. First of all, I never really have been. I don’t have the “practice.” Secondly, my mind wanders no matter what the heck I’m doing, so talking to Someone who doesn’t audibly respond and keep eye contact with me is quite difficult. Also, I struggle with unbelief enough to tread lightly with my requests. What I mean by that is that I see God working around me all the time, but for some reason I think His power doesn’t apply to my “stuff.” Whenever I ask Him for help, […]
This afternoon, Ryan stayed home with the boys and I got to go spend a very generous gift card from my parents. Oh, did I have fun! One of my favorite stores is the one I like to call, Herb’s. Or Herbergers. What a weird name? Anyway… some things I love most about that place are the deals and the coupons that are always in the paper for another 20% off. It isn’t the most high end of stores, but there are some great brands. I love “after Christmas sales,” and haven’t shopped them in a few years, so I was just taking it all in. I came home on a spending (my parent’s money) high. I rarely get new clothes, but today I was able to get a big bag of quality goods, and it was fantastic.Meanwhile, Miles was giving Ryan a run for his money. And so was Asher. So I […]
Ambitious readers. Ambitious people impress me. You know the ones. They work really hard, night and day, being productive and attaining their goals. They rarely sleep, they exercise daily, they eat right and still find time to have a successful career that took ambition to attain. I have to admit that I am not one of the ambitious ones. Never have been. I can name some things I am ambitious about though (just for fun). Food. Relaxing. Socializing. Cleaning. Sleeping. My family. My friends.As for things I have excelled at? Well, let’s see. In school I did just what I had to do to do “well.” I didn’t have a desire for college and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. When I did get “real” jobs I pretty much just coasted through the days. I did a good job, but never an over-the-top-excellent type of job.Here’s […]
I kind of enjoy being home-bound the first morning after a big snow. The end of the driveway is always way too full to drive through and it takes awhile to shovel it away. Ryan and Miles are out there working on it right now. Well, Ryan is working on it and Miles is eating snow. Don’t worry, we’ve explained to him that he should avoid yellow snow. It’s funny how things get translated in his busy little brain. Now he says “we can’t eat the yellow snow cause Tia goes pssss on it.” I don’t know how he came up with sound effects, I promise it wasn’t Ryan or I. Except maybe when he was sitting on the potty chair and I tried to help him understand what sound it might make when he actually goes potty. oops. I can just imagine what it will be like at school when he walks […]
Yup, he said it. While changing his diaper yesterday, I couldn’t believe my ears as I lifted Miles’ legs high in the air and he said “my butt is grumpy.” Well, I have to agree. It did smell grumpy. Today we went to see our dear friends Mackenzie and Olivia. Mackenzie is VERY pregnant with baby #2. Olivia is three months older than Miles and they’ve been buds their whole lives. When Miles got up from his nap I told him we were going to Olivia’s house. He said “ooooh, she’ll make me feel better.” You just never know what he might say or what he might mean by it. I love the ever-expanding vocabulary stage we’re in. Tonight when Miles was going to bed, we prayed and then talked about how God made him. He said “my fingers, my foot, my head, my tummy, my zipper.” You just can’t get any better […]
Whew, busy weekend. Good weekend. Lots to say so take a deep breath….Saturday was the Sara Groves CD release concert. Lana and I went to Don Pablo’s for dinner and had our favorite – regular magarita on the rocks, extra salt and fajitas. Then we headed to Northwestern for the concert. (I had to laugh just now at the irony of margaritas and Northwestern being in the same story).Everyone knows I’m a huge Sara fan so I could have sat there for two days listening to her sing and talk (I love when she tells stories). But I wasn’t in the best of moods. I told Lana on the way that I was in a bit of a funk and felt bad that I might ruin her night. We’d both been looking forward to this night for a very long time. In her typical understanding and easy-going Lana style, she replied, “I could […]
I told Ryan today that I can’t stand not having structure. It used to be that I had a very routine life. I got up, went to work, came home, ate dinner, went for a walk, watched some TV and went to bed. Then we got married and we did those things together. Then we had Miles and we worked hard on him having a schedule so he and we both could benefit from a routine together that left us all rested and feeling good. Then we had Asher. The end of structure. He cried and cried and we couldn’t even figure out when to eat or how to give Miles a bath. He’s not crying all the time anymore, but he still has a lot of difficulty sleeping. He catnaps throughout the day and frequently wakes up in the night. Don’t get me wrong, this boy is SO loveable, we couldn’t possibly […]
