Posted by Heather of the EO~ Friday, December 19, 2008 Miles is a true three-year-old. You know, cause he’s three and stuff. I LOVE the way his mind works. He’s got the best imagination and sense of humor. He’s also quickly learning how to manipulate conversations as an attempt to get his way or escape being caught doing something he shouldn’t.For example, he’s standing with the front door wide open, staring out at the snow while billows of foggy freezing air pour in the house and the warm air pours out, so his Dad asks him to close the door. He doesn’t. Daddy asks again with a more…serious tone, so he slams the door and quickly spouts out, “I was just checking the tempiture.” Daddy- “Oh really, what’s the ‘tempiture‘ then?” Miles- “Waaay TOO COLD!” (Amen.) ————— We’re driving to preschool and Miles has asked WHY over the same topic about thirty times […]
I have this problem. One where I feel I have to talk and talk and talk and talk in order to be heard. I have to explain in the greatest of detail exactly how difficult something is until the person I’m talking to appears to have fully grasped my discomfort and validated me for at least a half an hour. Gross. I’m sick of hearing myself. Yeah, yeah…life is rough, get over it. Since this season of our lives has pretty much swallowed me up, I don’t even know what I’m feeling anymore. We found out yesterday that Asher is so uncomfortable because:a) his shunt is working TOO well, draining all the extra fluid from his brain a bit too quickly, which is painful. (if it’s not better by next week, they’ll change the setting so things slow down.) b) he is also getting eye teeth and it’s been said that those are […]
Yes, a Xanax sounds good about now. I’ve heard that stuff’ll make you feel great. It’s a good thing I wrote about my faith yesterday. Now I can read that post over and over and over to remind me that we’re taken care of, and even if life is hard and scary, I know that in the end we’ll be o.k. Maybe things won’t always work out the way I think they should, but the final result is always grounded in grace, even if it looks pretty ugly to me. If I didn’t believe that all the way down to the ends of my toes, I might explode. Asher isn’t doing so hot. (he’s super fussy and needy and agitated and impossible to comfort.)I’ve been thinking that’s probably normal. After all, a neurosurgeon put a piece of plastic and a bunch of tubing in his head and belly. That can’t be fun. But […]
There is something entirely and completely broken about me trying to post a video. So, NO NOGGIN FOR YOU! (I said I would post a video of Asher post-surgery, but no, I can’t figure out what in the world is wrong with uploading it and I’m sick of trying. So, NO SOUP…er, I mean… no NOGGIN for you!) STINK. Which means I have to share some random thoughts from my head instead. Sorry… Miles just walked over here and said, “We are using this house SOOOOO much, it’s going to get old, but we’ll still live here.” Hope so. Today Ryan (husband) said that the neurosurgeon “must have found the ‘on’ switch…” That was his nice way of saying that Asher is currently OUT OF CONTROL. He’s all over the place! (He was fussy and kind of sleepy before the surgery…now he’s fussy and kind of all over the place! Oh my. We […]
It’s good to be home! We still can’t believe that after a day like yesterday (yuck) Asher was discharged today! There really is no place like home. We haven’t really been able to get that boy to get the sleep he so very badly needs while in the hospital, so I’m so happy to say he’s snug in his very own bed as we speak (type). In yesterday’s post I said I was going to report a miracle today. So here it is: The Miracle of the Cheerio. Or Cheerios. The boy needed to EAT and he was MAD. Then he had some Cheerios and they cheered him. For at least a half an hour. Which felt like a miracle at the time. No, the story is not more interesting than that. But hey, I’ll take all the small miracles I can get. I also think it’s a miracle that I was only […]
I’ve just taken a break from Asher’s hospital room and came upon a computer. I had a moment to take a look at my friend, Midnight Cafe’s post and will hopefully read through all of your lovely comments soon. Thank you! I can’t say enough how much it means to know you’re out there thinking of us. I needed a break because my boy is currently quite agitated, over-tired, and in pain. We can’t seem to get him to calm down and rest. I hope that soon he’ll hit the wall and let himself fall asleep. For now, we’re struggling along with him as he can’t stop crying and can’t find a way to be comfortable. We’re so very thankful for the fact that the surgery went well. I don’t expect that everything will be perfect or go just as smooth as I’d like it to go, but I admit I’m struggling along […]
I’m thankful that Asher is about to get some relief. More thankful than I can say. But I’m also finally allowing myself to feel, and it’s really scary. Yesterday, the nicest lady I’ve ever talked to called and gave me careful directions so we could find our way to the right part of the hospital tomorrow. She gave me a whole lot of instructions and gently prepared me for what Asher might look like after the surgery. Then she apologized for her next question, carefully choosing her words to ask if the doctors should do all they can to save Asher should something happen to go wrong. Yes. During that call, I had the sinking feeling that hits you in the gut when you finally realize something is actually going to happen, whether it’s comfortable or not, and you don’t know if you can do it. I started to allow the anxiety to […]
As I’m struggling to get Miles to put his own pants on, I give in to help him and get him OUT THE DOOR (I love him dearly, but he’s three and a half right now.) I’m sitting on the floor and he puts his arms around my neck while whining and fussing because I’m trying to wriggle his little legs into his pants. So I try to lighten the mood, “Thank you for the hug, sweetie.” To which he responds, “I’m not hugging you, I’m just holding on to you.” Nice.———-He spills milk down his leg and commands the dog to lick it off. “TIA!! RIGHT HERE! GET THIS!!!” (over and over and over.) Ryan asks him to go get a towel and clean his leg off himself. Miles says, “But Tia has better equipment.” Ryan – “What do you mean?” Miles – “Better licking equipment.”———-Me- “I love you no matter what […]
Why is it that some people seem to think they’re invisible in their cars? CARS HAVE SEE-THROUGH WINDOWS PEOPLE!!! I pulled up to a stop light yesterday and turned to see a middle-aged, nicely coiffed woman with a beautiful scarf tucked inside her fancy wool coat. She was waiting patiently at the light in her Saab, and passing the time by picking her nose, her long painted fingernail hidden in her nostril for thirty seconds at a time. Sorry. But I’m about to disgust you further… She ate it. Twice. People aren’t always as put-together as they appear, right? I almost vomited right there on my steering wheel. I have no idea why I’m telling you this. Maybe I’ll turn this into a Thanksgiving post by saying, I am SO thankful I don’t do that. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Can you believe I just made you read this? Aren’t you thankful for […]
What you learn while waiting your turn at St. Paul Children’s hospital: 1. Miss Minnesota is a very pretty volunteer. And she’s nice. I’m pretty sure you have to be nice to be Miss Minnesota. I almost snatched the tiara right off her noggin, but I restrained myself. 2.You can wait over an hour past your appointment time and still live. Even if you’re with a one-year-old during his regularly scheduled nap time. 3. Latex gloves make excellent balloons (if you carefully seal the opening around your mouth and blow REALLY hard.) These balloons can entertain your one-year-old for seconds or even minutes. Because you can blow them off your face dramatically, letting them fly across the room, smacking your husband in the groin. Fun for everyone. 4. If you want your child’s name to finally be called, just go to the bathroom and take your sweet time, washing your hands while singing […]
I’ve been spinning circles all morning, doing all I can to console a miserable little Asher, cleaning up, getting Miles off to preschool, and forgetting to let the dog out. I get all worked up, frantic that I can’t ease the pain for my boy. I’m scattered with a tizzy of thoughts ranging from how many calls I’ve forgotten to make, to worries that something has gotten worse overnight with Asher’s hydrocephalus. He’s just so uncomfortable. Then Ryan makes me laugh. He has the best sense of humor, that husband of mine. He takes Asher for me as I spew something quickly about wanting to change the crib sheets. He sits with Asher in the recliner and they read the paper together. Asher starts to calm, pulling and ripping at the pages while Daddy tries to see over the noggin. I come flying back into the room with a crib sheet thrown over […]
Asher had his MRI today. (Taking a closer look at his hydrocephalus.) Here’s the picture story:We arrived at Children’s and were treated with nothing but kindness.Asher thought the toys were cool. But he didn’t like the big blankets they put on his feet.(They did that to warm them and prepare for the IV.)He tried really hard to take them off. Daddy held him and tried really hard to keep them on.For the most part, Asher just let it all happen, not making a peep.Then they put the IV in and it hurt. Asher cried. So did I. When the medication was administered, he was out in about 4 seconds. That was overwhelming. Because a passed out Asher was then wheeled away on one of these:Good practice for the surgery, I suppose.He came back to us like this:(Looking exactly like his cousin Max and dreaming)When he woke up, he was the funniest drunk baby […]
beep beep beeeeeeeeep…”We interrupt this blogcation for a service announcement”: “You need to pay your fees for this program to keep running.“ Oh wait. NO, you don’t. There are no fees. This is all free. Isn’t that the best part of blogging? I mean, imagine if the price was going up like the movies, we’d all have to quit. Anyway. Poor Becky of On top of the world(or at least really far north). She is so full of wit and insight and yet her guest post refuses to post here on the EO. Or blogger refuses to post it. Error messages are not my friend. So while Becky and I work on making her post postable, I will update you on the EO family, how ’bout that? Asher has not had surgery yet. I was under the impression originally that things would move quickly, but…not so much. He has his MRI on Friday. […]
Life is so tricky. And interesting. And mysterious. And… You get the idea. We went to Asher’s appointment with the neuro-surgeon this morning regarding his hydrocephalus. We learned a lot about this condition after listening to the surgeon for over an hour. (I brought a little recorder, aren’t I a total geek? Why, you ask? Well, not only to be responsible and thorough, but also to prevent the husband/wife post-appointment argument where I say “NO, that’s NOT what he said, he SAID…” and then he says, “Heather, I KNOW he said…” See? Smart wife.) Anyway, I digress. The doctor also asked us a lot of questions about Asher’s history and observed his behavior. He believes that Asher’s hydrocephalus is congenital (rather than being caused by an injury, neonatal issue, or as a result of any other problem.) So most likely, since it’s congenital, it’s all Ryan’s fault. (Yes, of course I’m kidding! Like […]
Would you believe that Asher gave me a heart attack this morning? Of course you would. He’s been my 5am alarm clock for months, but today he slept until 7am. When I turned to look at the clock and hadn’t heard a peep from him all night, I panicked. I went to his crib and he popped right up and giggled at me. I was so relieved I nearly squeezed him to pieces. I realize it’s a bit irrational to fear he may never wake up, but I’m as hyper-alert and paranoid as the next mother. Most of the time I find myself strangely peaceful, reassured in the fact that his will be a routine surgery. But here and there I have a moment of fear. These moments sneak up on me on tip toe and trip me up. (How rude.) And now, here’s your real-life peek at Asher, one of the three […]
Would you believe that Asher gave me a heart attack this morning? Of course you would. He’s been my 5am alarm clock for months, but today he slept until 7am. When I turned to look at the clock and hadn’t heard a peep from him all night, I panicked. I went to his crib and he popped right up and giggled at me. I was so relieved I nearly squeezed him to pieces. I realize it’s a bit irrational to fear he may never wake up, but I’m as hyper-alert and paranoid as the next mother. Most of the time I find myself strangely peaceful, reassured in the fact that his will be a routine surgery. But here and there I have a moment of fear. These moments sneak up on me on tip toe and trip me up. (How rude.) And now, here’s your real-life peek at Asher, one of the three […]
Would you believe that Asher gave me a heart attack this morning? Of course you would. He’s been my 5am alarm clock for months, but today he slept until 7am. When I turned to look at the clock and hadn’t heard a peep from him all night, I panicked. I went to his crib and he popped right up and giggled at me. I was so relieved I nearly squeezed him to pieces. I realize it’s a bit irrational to fear he may never wake up, but I’m as hyper-alert and paranoid as the next mother. Most of the time I find myself strangely peaceful, reassured in the fact that his will be a routine surgery. But here and there I have a moment of fear. These moments sneak up on me on tip toe and trip me up. (How rude.) And now, here’s your real-life peek at Asher, one of the three […]
Would you believe that Asher gave me a heart attack this morning? Of course you would. He’s been my 5am alarm clock for months, but today he slept until 7am. When I turned to look at the clock and hadn’t heard a peep from him all night, I panicked. I went to his crib and he popped right up and giggled at me. I was so relieved I nearly squeezed him to pieces. I realize it’s a bit irrational to fear he may never wake up, but I’m as hyper-alert and paranoid as the next mother. Most of the time I find myself strangely peaceful, reassured in the fact that his will be a routine surgery. But here and there I have a moment of fear. These moments sneak up on me on tip toe and trip me up. (How rude.) And now, here’s your real-life peek at Asher, one of the three […]
I’m not a fan of small talk. I’m not good at it. I can’t just keep it simple. There’s something in me that MUST give people information. And I would much rather hear what’s really going on with the person I’m talking to, rather than chatting about how many leaves are piling up on the sides of the streets. I do realize most people aren’t comfortable diving right into the deepest parts of themselves and their lives with a practical stranger, but I’m just saying, I don’t like small talk. Therefore, if I’m forced to small talk, I have a tendency to throw out any random tidbit of information floating through my brain, private or not. So when we went to the city hall on Halloween for the annual bash I was bombarded with opportunities to make a fool of myself in conversation. There were a lot of neighborhood acquaintances there. They wanted […]
Halloweeny ’08G’pa D. helped Asher carve his first pumpkin. Asher thought he should really get his hands on that thing. PRONTO. So he had the honor of holding the top. As you can see, he thought that was very VERY cool. Then he chewed on it for awhile. He was quite pleased. Then we went next door to visit The Best Neighbors in the Whole Universe. Miles and Asher got some great loot. (Asher was going to be a puppy, but I couldn’t find his costume. So we cut the legs off the fireman costume from last year. Yes, I’m currently quite disorganized, I lose costumes. But I’m no fool. A scissors is good for lots and lots of things.) (Oh! I’m sorry, I forgot to tell you. (I’m sure you can’t tell.) That’s Miles, not the actual real Spiderman.) Then we were off to city hall for the annual Halloween bash where […]
I love your sleepy, sharp blue eyes. I love the way those eyes light up when they see me. I love the place where your nearly hairless head meets the back of your neck. I love your squishy cheeks and thighs. Their softness makes me want to push my nose in them all day long.I love how you giggle like you’re giving a courtesy laugh, a short little ha…ha….ha…….ha…I love how you blew into our lives with such a force and have not calmed down since. I love the things I’m learning because of you. I have more strength because of you. I can be trusted with much more than I ever dreamed I could handle. I was strong even before you came, only I didn’t really know that. Until you showed me. This was the beginning of a deeply rooted love for you and I’m so thankful for the way we’ve bonded […]
I don’t know how to say that everything is not okay. That the catscan was for a reason. I don’t know how to say it, so bear with me as I just jump right in. Asher has a condition called hydrocephalus. The CT showed that the ventricles that bring fluid to his spinal cord from his brain are dilated. This means they’re too full, making it impossible for good flow and leaving too much fluid around his brain. I don’t even completely understand it all myself. We’ll have an appointment with the pediatric neurosurgeon to find out the details. What I know is that the surgeon will go in and put a shunt where the ventricles are, opening it up and creating better flow. You wanna know what else I know? 1. This was caught before the pressure on his brain caused damage.2. My friend Katie was with me when I got the […]
Asher has his catscan this morning. You might be saying, I thought you weren’t going to do that silly thing? Well, we weren’t. Not after the twelve month appointment. But now we are. We’re indecisive like that. I still assume there’s nothing wrong with our boy. He’s simply a genius. Hence, the large noggin. Obviously. But the noggin did take another LEAP in growth at his fifteen month appointment, so we figured it was time for complete peace of mind. Most likely we’ll just find out that his brain is SO big he’s going to change the world forever with his ingenuity, great love for peace and justice, and his mind-reading abilities. (I swear he can read my mind.) I’m taking him by myself as Ryan is out of town, so we’ll see if this leads to a blog post. Things tend to get all weird and sometimes hilarious when I’m involved. But […]
