Thursday~ April 9, 2009
I’ve always had a problem with time. Either it goes too fast, or it goes too slow. I’m either looking at the clock in shock that it’s “already” later in the day than it feels, or irritated that the number displayed seems frozen. In time.
And keeping time? Forget about it. In music or a daily schedule, I’m slow to learn.
Now I’m experiencing the absolute Twilight Zone of time warps…the growing up of children.
Yeah, TIME.
Miles is nearing four. He’s clear evidence to me that what I suspected is true. Time can be both slow and fast at once. He’s a boy and a baby at the same time, confusing the both of us.
The love I feel for him knows no bounds, and like every mother, I’ll always consider him my baby.
Time.
It happens so quickly, the ticking of the clock that brings about the passing years.
He runs off shouting “I can do it myself!” He doesn’t look back, he just motors. He strikes up conversations and finds the strength to make new friends. When I ask how it went he says nothing, keeping his moments and memories to himself.
It seems like time is going too fast. I want him to need me more than he does at times.
Time.
It goes so slowly, he’s just a baby in that bigger body, begging to fend off the changes. He’s fighting to keep the innocence, the dependence, the connection.
He’s mad all day at everything, every moment, especially at me. We’re both fussing and fighting, shouting and stomping over sharing and bathroom breaks, TV time and being kind.
It seems like time is going way too slow.
I finally come to the floor, look him in the big blue eyes and say “what’s wrong?” And he falls to his knees just in time to hit my lap. His forehead wrinkles and his nose crinkles and the sobs begin, “I’m just so tired,” he wails. He needs his Mom, just like from the start. So I hold him and whisper all the things he needs to hear until the crying stops and the peace comes.
And I’ve never been more certain that I have a problem with time.
I don’t want it to keep moving so fast, even when it seems like it’s going too slow.
Miles
time even changes the point of his head
For more pictures worth a thousand words, visit Jen at Cheaper Than Therapy
{ 37 comments }
I understand. You are ready for it to be over, but you never want it to be over. I can’t believe my baby is 5 years old. Where in the world did the time go? But it also felt like forever when he was crying for the first straight year of his life. I love your insight, girl.
I love this. It’s so true. And I love the points of Miles’ head. Super cute.
(and of course I mentally added the other two “slippin’s” at the end of your title here.)
Time, oh give me Time! (you may have to be an ’80’s babe to appreciate that lyric…)
But, yes, I’ve said that the fastest way to slow time is to get pregnant and then the fastest way to speed it up again is to birth…
Blessings!
He is a very handsome boy!
I know exactly what you mean .. my youngest will be four in June and I can’t believe he’s getting so big! I love your little guy’s hair do .. very cool!
Okay Miles is so super cute! Boy can I relate to the time issue…
Love the blue fauxhawk! You are a very cool mom.
He’s so smart—his brain activity is outpacing his body strength. Poor kiddio! Poor Mommio!
This made me all weepy for my little boy who grew up and is now nearly my size. :(
Oh how this is true, on all counts.
Me too! Me too! I have these two gorgeous girls walking around my house now. They can get their own snacks and one of them is wearing size 6 women’s shoes now! What?!! They have moments of independence (which I had been longing for) and then they need their mama. (Thank goodness!)
Ahhh time. I chase my kids around with a camera, still, trying to record it all. I don’t want to forget a moment!
I have been composing a post in my mind with this same title. You just said it a lot better.
It’s so true…it goes way too fast. Seth is going to be in Kindergarten this fall. He is still my baby. Amelia is almost 3!!! 3! Libby is 7 months today. It just goes too fast. But when in the thick of it, sometimes I feel like it is going too slow.
Time keeps on slippin’…so so true.
I loved that story! It is just soooo true.
Perfectly written :)
At least once a day I look at KK and can’t believe how big and grown-up she is… and then the next minute, I’m annoyed because she’s pulling baby antics again.
(Feedburner is torturing me too lately. What is with that?)
I completely agree.
you know, I have a 4 year old and I feel that same way. Thank you for writing what I have been feeling.
That is it. That is exactly, truly, it.
Oh girlfriend. You are I live parallel lives but at different points (I didn’t understand that either). Yesterday, my older two looked for jobs and called me no less than 10 times when they would take an application out to the car so I could help them fill it out. Old enough to work – not old enough to fill out the application without mom. Time. It is a conundrum.
i feel it too and i have a 19 month year old. he’s just so precocious that he doesn’t want help with anything and knows how to do it all etc etc and i just think, oooo when you were a baby baby and helpless and vulnerable and i could squish you right up… and instead now i have to let him find his own way (tho not quite a he is only 19 months old, but u get what i mean)
big sigh!
i guess if they weren’t so tiring and hard work we’d have 100s and that way we’d always have a little one
And MY MY isn’t he a stunner! Looks loads like you
Francesca
Love the hair.
Mike
http://somethingaboutparenting.typepad.com
Twitter: AboutParenting
Everything I feel about motherhood, you blog for me. I should just link to every one of your posts whenever I want to write about being a mommy.
Totally understand.
He is precious.
My baby girl will be 3 tomorrow, and I compare it to trying to hold drops in our hands. How does time go by so quickly?
Wonderful post. :) Beautiful boy.
I think it’s so sad that little ones have to grow up…even if we are wishing they would just hit the next milestone already!
I found some old photos on a memory card of Rose when she was Lily’s age the other day…the sentiments in your post accurately describe my feelings at that moment!
This kind of post gets my waterworks going. Ugh. My father-in-law counseled me to never rush time once (and to never ask my kids to stop talking… wow I have failed at that one). Good advice. Very handsome photos of Miles.
What a tear-jerker! Lovely post and I know your sweetie has a mohawk under that sweater cap!
Awwww! Such a beautiful goose-bump inducing post! Time really does fly by way too fast… LOVE those pictures – he’s such a cutie!!
Happy AWTW! :)
Beautiful photos. Adorable boy!
And I totally get what you are saying about time. I am now at the stage when I wish it slows down a bit, and wish some of it back. The consolation: great memories of great times with my kids. Maybe you can take advantage of the slow moving time phase of life by creating many memories.
Love, love love this and related to it all. Very well written and ohhhh that sweet boy of yours!!
Ah, sweet Miles. You’re teaching your mama so much, even if it’s just an accident. Life moves too fast.
Amen, sister. When I am so frustrated and I just want to scream I always think “They are going to grow up and leave you so cherish the moments you have with them now.” Even when there is pee on the floor because somebody missed, or spit out food on my couch and poopie diapers to be changed. Time… keeps marching on.
There are eight years between my two boys and I’ve never been more aware of how fast eight years can fly by. It seems my oldest was just barely to walk not so long ago and now he’s nine and independent and I miss him being little.
You better believe time goes sooooo fast. My baby is now 24 and I think —-where is my baby??
I was just telling Jess the other day, to hold on to these preschool years. When your in them, you think they will never end. Then you wake up one morning and your putting them all on the school bus. There is freedom that comes with the passing of time, but also grieving for the time passed.
I talk big, but I’m gonna be a blubbering mess when the Tongginator starts kindergarten this fall.
Those pictures are too adorable. Yes, you’ve nailed it. The passing of time…slowest of days and quickest of months, years…
Ugh, such true words Mama. What adorable shots!
I look at my 6-year-old and realize the sands of childhood are almost gone. Soon he’ll want nothing to do with me. And he’ll smell.
But for now, I say “you’re such a big boy!” and he replies, “but I’ll ALWAYS be your baby.”
Sob.
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