Tuesday~ June 16, 2009
The letter ‘C’ doesn’t really work on my laptop.
Yeah. It took me a really long time to type that because I had to get that unworking letter xfxxxdxd….to work.
See? It’s not working again. Sorry…bear with me, the key has popped off the keyboard and we an’t get it back on… Ryan and I are trying to put it bak on the keyboard. It’s not working….
……
ccccc…
Oh look!
CCCC…
It’s working!
He fixed it! (My husband can do anything.) (Except fly…he can’t fly.)
The C key met it’s demise at the hands of my children. They had a whole lot of fun with the computer a couple of times when I made the mistake of leaving it unattended.
There’s also white gooey stuff on the floor in my bedroom, a strange smell floating out of Miles’ closet, and a million small dark stains on the living room floor.
Oh, and the weird kitchen sticky stuff! It’s always glued to my feet no matter how much I clean, and there are endless amounts of Cheerios in my couch cushions. (LOOK at all those C’s!!!)
I’m slowly growing accustomed to these unwelcome stuck-on visitors, but I’m probably going to go crazy over the sand.
Ugh. The sand. It’s on my feet and theirs, it’s hiding in the grout and piling up in corners. The sand.
There are all of these things, strange little annoyances I never would have guessed would try to take over my existence as a mother. They beg to swallow me up, trying my patience and doing their work to turn me ugly and full of anger.
Silly. I will not let them win.
Because I’m too busy.
Today the boys and I took a hike through the woods. I decided to take it all in, to watch them discover things I never would have noticed, and really hear their exclamations of praise, awe, and surprise.
And it was all there. It was so full. It was good.
Oh, how I wish I would have had my camera.
But how do you capture the sounds that come from a toddler as he chases ants? How do you angle the camera just right, making sure it closes in on the light that’s dusting these curious little heads?
Even with the perfect camera, the smells and sounds won’t be there.
But I was.
And I heard Miles ask about “poison noisy” at least 100 times. And I saw the fold of Asher’s legs as he knelt to smoosh an ant at least 15 times. And I heard the giggles of these two small creatures as they ran away from a moth.
I couldn’t capture it on film, but it’s here. It’s with me, always. Even if I don’t remember it one day.
So they can come home, and they can dirty up and sometimes destroy my house. They can shout loudly and frustrate much, but I’ll go on loving my job.
I’m just so crazy about these people and our life together, even when I’m sick of the sand. Being their mom is like living out the beautiful photography of my heart.
So I forgot my camera and sometimes the C key doesn’t work, but I’ve never been happier in my whole entire life.
{ 35 comments }
I had that problem a few months ago with my J. Which was unfortunate since my name starts with one of those. My smart husband was able to get it back on there too. Why do they have to make it so complicated?
Living out the beautiful photography of your heart…wow! You said it all.
I often opt to leave my camera at home for the very reasons you mentioned. I will not be fully present if I'm thinking about composition and lighting and capturing the perfect look on Anja's face. I want to SEE what she thinks of the bears at the zoo, to hear her squeals of delight at the splash park and not worry about my lens getting wet. It's SO worth it!
The "poison noisy" and the folds in Asher's legs… so great! I love those discovering years, and I miss them sometimes. Seems all my kids discover now are new computer games or ways to get their hearts broken.
Amen! Just discovered your blog and totally love it. I'm going to sound like I'm giving myself a compliment here… I'm not. I'm also not trying to insult you… but you remind me a little bit of, um, me. :)
We have a sand box. Which means I have sand in my house all the time. The best is when their pockets fill up with sand, and then they come in and sit on the coach and I can tell exactly where they sat because of the little sand deposits left behind. And don't even get me started about the sand on the floor. I can't go barefoot in my own house. But sometimes the sand on the floor is good… it sticks to the sticky spots on the kitchen floor and sort of smooths them over so I don't stick to them anymore. it's convenient, really.
Okay. I'm done.
I love this post. So sweet…
mmmm hmmm…. this doesn't have anything to do with your recent Word Twist scores does it??? Are you gonna start asking for a handicap now before each game????
C key broken . . . . . . . . riiiiiiiiiggggghhhhht.
:)~
xo, crock (That's See-Arr-Oh-See-Kay)
My favorite moments are recorded in my brain.
Cameras have their limits.
The whole right side of my key board froze up last week. Darn things! Hope your summer is off to a good start!
Oh this was lovely. I know just exactly 100% what you mean and believe it or not had these same thoughts recently when we took my 2 year old son on a hike. I also know aaaaalllll about the sticky stuff. Maybe when we are grandmas our floors will be clean and our kids will not remember the sticky stuff and will ask us how we kept the floor so clean when they were little.
Sometimes I get so caught up in the toys under my feet, and the work that has to be done, and the computer monitor that sporadically works and I forget that this is MY LIFE… then I step back and just watch these two little miracles living life and it is SO AMAZING. I love that about blogging… more than photography, more than video, it's a way to capture the emotion of the story. And you always do it so well :)
Ha ha! Love this!
I heard a mum-to-be asking a mother of three when she should decorate the nursery for the new baby? The mother of three fell about laughing for a while then replied, that she should think about decorating the house once the kids were leaving for college, before that, there's not a lot of point!
This post does make me feel better about the happy chaos we live in though!
I love the idea of beautiful photography in our heart.
It's good to leave the camera behind sometimes. I tend to get so busy taking pictures that I miss out on the actual moment as it unfolds before me.
Sounds like a fun day!!
Roban
Yeah, my page up key and Control key are wrecked thanks to Baby G and the "t" is intermittent. I think it's part of the Mommy Badge of Honor.
Reminds me of Sesame Street: This post almost brought to you without the letter C…
And this? "Even with the perfect camera, the smells and sounds won't be there. But I was." With this you captured the secret to life and motherhood in one lovely sentence.
Perfect.
Love this post. I can so relate, and it was a great reminder of the things I should let go of, and the things I should hold dear. cheers from down under.
We're debating whether to get a sandbox or not. I confess that the stories of sand piles is making me think quite hard about that!
And don't talk to me about sticky floors… I've been hoping my sticky floors will go away when I stop breastfeeding…
I love everything about this – the way you muddle through the sticky, just like I find myself doing – and the way you soak in all the amazing, spectacular little moments – I love the 'photography of your heart quote' – so perfect.
I'll take the sticky and the broken 'c's every day too!
I relate to all this too. No sand, but we do have red clay here, so it's ground into the rug. And we have dogs, so that means no stickiness or food on the floors. But we add in drifts of dog hair on the floors and under my laptop keys. (My left shift key hasn't worked since March.)
And THANKS for the shout-out. Very encouraging. ;)
There are some things… you just need to be there for :)
you totally said it. I know those toddler giggles and they are just too awesome.
Yes. I know exactly what you mean.
I am glad that the "C" is fixed!! And I know how you feel about not having the camera when there are great/funny/wonderful moments to capture. I do it ALL of the time.
The key of C is minor (HA!) as is the sand in the house, the frustrations of whining and the mess they create compared to the wonderful harmony we make as a family.
I totally get this. But I need frequent reminders. Thank you.
Oh how I've missed you, Heather. Forgive me for being away so long. I've needed to just bask in your words. You're my daily dose of goodness and appreciation. Even though you were here, you were missed so terribly.
Beautiful post. You captured many of those perfectly sweet moments with your well-crafted words–and in doing so, gave us all some inspiration to enjoy those walks in the woods (or whatever form the time with kiddos takes)! Loved it!
i've ruined many a good moments making someone stop and pose. ahh, i love how you described all of this and gently nudged my heart to be more Content with the moment!
Hear hear for happiness! And to defeating the gloomies with busy days in the woods and Loving being a mom. I'm really happy for you!
Blessings,
C~
Beautiful, Heather. I know there was a reason I need to break my blog break :-) Soon maybe. Photography of the heart, I like that a lot. But still bring your camera now and again. Someday they grow up and leave. Those pictures will jog your heart and you will remember the smells and the sounds that are no more and you will relive the joy over and over and over. Who says motherhood is thankless? I have a ton of pictures in my heart and in a shoebox to remind me that even back then I already received and enjoyed the rewards of motherhood.
I can't get over that poison noisy. Isn't it so weird that your kids just do what comes completely natural to them and you think your heart might burst because their so sweet or cute or funny? It's like a miracle every day.
Sometimes we wish we had our cameras to capture those memories…but I'm not sure we really experience them when we are snapping away with the camera. You described it beautifully! And you WILL have those memories forever. :)
When we lived near the beach, I would have to brush off my bed every night before getting in it. The sand would still be there of course. But, I just considered it a natural exfolliant and went on to bed!
This is so true – I needed this reminder tonight – it's been a 'focusing on the sand' kind of day here. *sigh*. :)
No prob. I can totally teach your husband that whole flying thing.
Oh wait.
No. I can't.
My son used to bang on my keyboard so much that letter tops used to randomly break. At one point there were 2+ letters I could barely use. Aw. The joys of kids. ;)
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