The last time he was in the hospital, I had the chance to sit and talk with his MckMama while Stellan slept in his tiny hospital bed. (MckMama and I went to the same college, and then blog-met. In person, I instantly felt at ease and comfortable. A friendship like an old shoe.)
Then a couple of weeks ago, I got to hang out with Stellan again, at his home. This time, I held him while his MckMama threw together a snack for her kids and mine. I somehow detached his little heart monitor and sort of panicked. But she didn’t, she simply fixed it, all ease and fluid motion.
Later, she and Prince Charming (her husband) fed the MSC (Many Small Children-they have four:four years old and under-no, no twins) and gave them a bath. It was an assembly line, a flourish of surprisingly easy-going activity. Part-way through the nightly routine, Stellan was sitting on the couch, wrapped in a towel and watching me closely. Every time I turned from my job of keeping Asher on a stool, I saw that big dimpled smile, the blue eyes gleaming at me. When Asher was done eating and off the stool, I just had to go pick up that baby.
Oh Stellan, full of peace…
He has a pull. You know, the baby pull. But with him, I have to say it’s more. It’s not because he’s an internet sensation. He’s an internet sensation because he’s got that extra something, the thing I can’t quite describe. (And he’s also a sensation because his MckMama has a really great sense of humor, writing style, and a heart of gold. She shares it all on her blog, and it’s just the most endearing and uplifting place to visit.)
Anyway, after out latest visit I had to text MckMama and tell her that Stellan really is something special. I wanted to say more but I couldn’t really figure out what to say. I wish there were more words than that to describe his pull.
But who can give words to the spiritual experiences they have? The holy people they meet? The divine moments laid out in the perfect place at the perfect time?
I can’t.
All I really know right now is that I want Stellan to live. I want healing for his heart, more blue for his eyes, and more smiles for his dimples.
Because of Stellan’s pull and my lack of words about that, I can do nothing but pray, because that’s something that doesn’t require all the right words. Stellan is much like the God I can’t describe, with a love and peace so real it defies language, especially in the midst of pain and sorrow.
{ 23 comments }
Oh God, no. I hadn't read he was back in the hospital. I just caught up. God.. no! That beautiful baby I see almost everytime I look my baby dude's eyes. I was hoping he had more time before this happened again. Dammit :(
Oh no–that poor baby! I will be thinking of him and hoping he recovers quickly.
Dear friend, I am praying with you for that special soul. You are a lovely special soul also.
I am praying for that sweet little baby too! Breaks my heart.
Heather, you are so beautiful. What beautiful tenderness is all over this post. Of course, our family will be praying for Stellan. I am so glad that you had that time with him and his MckMama. God bless. We are praying.
There are some people in our lives who just touch our souls, no matter their ages. Stellan is that person for so many.
What a roller coaster that family is going through! I will be praying for them.
thank you for updating us, I had not heard. Praying for that sweet boy and his family.
I am so sad…but God hears our words or our lack of them!
I understand his magnetic pull…he has it…whatever it is!
I pray for him and his sweet parents!
Thanks for letting us know.
Oh Heather, what a gorgeous post. Extra prayers sent their way.
I loved hearing about your time with them. I hated hearing about the latest turn of events. :( Praying with you. SO touched by this post.
I'm sure that Stellan was smiling at you because he felt something similar. I hope that his family are finding a good source of peace right now and that he's staying strong. Thanks for sharing the update. Have a good Friday and weekend.
What a touching post. I have never met Stellan or MckMama, probably won't ever have the great joy. But I too feel the pull of Stellan, through MckMama's blog, her beautiful words and her total, self-less and unconditional love for her children.
You, too, are a very spiritual, special person and I am blessed to be able to pray for your family and MckMama's too.
Man, sick babies. sigh Glad you have developed a nice relationship with the mama. You are a big-hearted person. Best of luck to Stellan.
Stellann does have that pull and I have been drawn in. Your words are exactly what I have been thinking.
Heather, You may not have felt you had the words, but you certainly wrote that beautifully. I will be praying for sweet baby Stellan and his family.
there have been a handful of kids (besides my own obviously) that do that to me. but none in a situation as this little fella. thanks for the update.
I woke up at 4 in the morning and was so unsettled. And you know, I just felt the Lord say pray for Stellan. And then I prayed for others, too. I don't even know that baby but he's getting me to pray more. He has "it" and I want his heart healed. I want his Mommy to have peace and rest in her own heart. This was a really sweet post.
Steph
I'm right with you. I also prayed for Stellan when I was awake in the night (2nd trimester sore hips here). Every time I read a tweet about his struggles, it brings tears to my eyes – and it is such an amazing blessing to watch MckMama handle it all with such grace & be such a strong testimony to God's grace.
I did not know he was back in the hospital. I will pray for him and his sweet, sweet family.
Lovely. He is compelling, his story, his family, his life. Your thoughts on him are equally lovely.
This is so beautiful, and steeped with truth: "But who can give words to the spiritual experiences they have? The holy people they meet? The divine moments laid out in the perfect place at the perfect time"
I have experienced that "pull" that special babies have. What strong spirits in those tiny bodies to magnetize adultsl
He is truly the most amazing of babies. God's work in him has just begun and and I think it will revolutionize the world.
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