Shadows

April 1, 2010

I want to remember it all.
How can we spend so many hours in a day
trying and then forget the vibrant colors,
the details and sounds and smells
and all the minutes?
I get sad over that.

I’m left with bits and pieces,
when I look back
over just one year.

There are only parts of pictures
flashing through my mind,
the whole erased with the adding
of hundreds of long days.

These days are too beautiful and messy
and hard and good
to forget, but I will.
I will only remember the
parts that were the most felt
and so I work on feeling.

And then the shadows of all these things,
dark and vibrant, light at the edges,
will make a home in my heart.
Even while the colors escape my mind.

And I will know it all
became a part of me.
Of us.

The way we spent our days
trying
together.
The long hours spent
in the hard and the good
and the beautiful and the messy.

The shadow of always belonging
tucked there in our hearts.

{ 29 comments }

togetherforgood April 1, 2010 at 8:28 am

I love this Heather. Beautifully done. :)

LisAway April 1, 2010 at 8:36 am

It's so true. I hate that we forget. We recently were watching home video of when Evie and David were small and I am blown away by how darling they were and love to see our little family interact. I need to remember to take more video because that definitely helps us remember how we came to be who we are.

5 Kids With Disabilities April 1, 2010 at 8:37 am

Love your "poem-ish" sort of thing! Fortunately, life goes on and more happy memories are made every day!

One Crafty Mother April 1, 2010 at 8:45 am

Oh my goodness, this is beautiful.

I love this:

"I will only remember the
parts that were the most felt
and so I work on feeling."

Gorgeous, Heather. Thank you.

Cassandra Frear April 1, 2010 at 8:49 am

Beautiful and poignant.

Kindred spirit? I suspect it.

Motherboard April 1, 2010 at 9:05 am

Simply Beautiful!

Kathleen April 1, 2010 at 9:06 am

Lovely poetry

Rebecca April 1, 2010 at 10:28 am

Beautiful. Feeling things so much hurts, but I can't help it. I'd rather remember than not.

Heidi Ashworth April 1, 2010 at 10:28 am

When are you going to be discovered by someone who has the power to make you famous? It's about time!

Boy Crazy April 1, 2010 at 10:38 am

Sentiment that every parent can relate to.

I reached a point where I asked myself why I wanted to remember it all so badly, and when I realized it's just because I'm so happy and full of love in these days of raising little boys, I decided it would be enough to just remember that we were happy and full of love, even if the details slip through my fingers.

Beautiful poem, Heather.

-elizabeth

Heather April 1, 2010 at 10:43 am

I think this is why I started my 365 photo project. Photos for me bring back a flood of emotions and so when I take a snippet from our life that day I can hopefully remember more.

French Skinny April 1, 2010 at 11:28 am

I LOVE this. Exactly what I feel when I look in my little guy's face and my heart hurts.
Beautiful.

amanda April 1, 2010 at 1:32 pm

is it weird that i still get kinda giddy realizing that i actually met you? your words always manage to take my breath away.

thank you friend.

Jo@Mylestones April 1, 2010 at 2:06 pm

Sigh. I can't visit here without nodding so vigorously my neck starts to hurt. Or getting teary enough to make my lunch soggy. Or both.
Love to you.

Kristen @ Motherese April 1, 2010 at 2:09 pm

Your piece really speaks to me today. My younger son turns one at the end of April. I was absolutely floored by that fact this morning when I turned the calendar to the new month and realized that a year had passed since he was born. It feels like yesterday and 100 years ago all at once.

I love what Elizabeth had to say about remembering the feeling as much as the details. Wonderful advice, methinks.

chris weigand April 1, 2010 at 2:35 pm

Beautifully written

Corinne April 1, 2010 at 2:58 pm

Beautiful.
Thanks for this today :)

Hyacynth April 1, 2010 at 5:15 pm

Perfect stated. Lovely, Heather. Just like you.

Kazzy April 1, 2010 at 7:08 pm

Such nice little snippets of life that you offer us. :)

wendy April 2, 2010 at 9:14 pm

What a lovely meaningful poem.

Rach@In His Hands April 2, 2010 at 11:31 pm

Once again, I'm hanging on every.single.word.

Those kind of shadows are worth tucking away.

Mariel April 3, 2010 at 8:36 am

what a sweet poem and pictures! thank you for sharing!!

Aidan Donnelley Rowley @ Ivy League Insecurities April 3, 2010 at 4:14 pm

Just gorgeous.

denise April 4, 2010 at 2:05 am

i read your blog much more often than i comment because, well, you usually say what i'm feeling so much better than my comments on your comments…"I will only remember the
parts that were the most felt
and so I work on feeling." for example…i so wish we were neighbors so i could come over and hang out and learn to feel with you…in reading many of your followers i think we have more kindred spirits out there than i often realize on a day to day basis…thank you for helping us connect to each other and inward to ourselves…

Angie April 4, 2010 at 3:03 am

Speechless. Crying. Thank you for sharing your gift and your beautiful heart.

Kristen@nosmallthing April 5, 2010 at 7:08 am

It's why I started blogging…the forgetting. Because now I can go back, and read, and remember, and even feel just how I felt. Even how I felt about the minutia.

This was beautifully written. Just beautiful Hoteo!

Pamela April 5, 2010 at 11:00 am

thank you for this.

debi9kids April 6, 2010 at 1:41 am

just beautiful! You so perfectly put into words what so many struggle to do. Thank you for always being willing to share your heart.

雅琳雅琳 April 7, 2010 at 4:00 am

你可以從外表的美來評論一朵花或一隻蝴蝶,但你不能這樣來評論一個人........................................

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