it’s just true.

October 7, 2010

It feels too flowery to say he’s my sunbeam.
But he just is, this boy.

He was very very sad and scared a couple of nights ago.
I took he and his brudder to the firehouse
and there were so many people
in crowds waiting to check out the engines
and lines for the bounce house,
some people sitting and some standing
and in just a flash
he was gone.

We looked up and around
and back and forth
and I felt the panic.

The longest minutes went by
where I thought the thoughts
that kill a mom’s insides
and then
there he was.
His face was crumpled
and his tears
were so big
and he thought I left him.

I ran for him
as he held a stranger’s hand
and it seemed like a really really
long time
since I’d seen him last.

And it felt too flowery too say it to him
but I said those things you say right then,
I’d never ever leave you
I love you so much
I don’t know what I’d do without you
Because it’s just true.

~~~~~

I had been really frustrated with myself for forgetting the speaking gig I’d rushed too (late) that morning. Now I was just weary and my heart hurt for my Asher who got into bed saying he was still scared. It was a long and hard day. This morning my Dad said, “Maybe that happened so you’d know the speaking thing wasn’t a big deal. Maybe it was a reminder of what really matters.”

WORD (to your Father) (Heh…get it? Instead of word to your mother I used father, since he said that stuff…) (You’re welcome.).

Today I’m taking Asher to his check-up with his neurosurgeon, Dr. P.
It’s a 2 hour drive both ways and Ryan is out of town for work and it’s totally worth it. I think we’re going to have a good time together, me and my little sunbeam.

~~~~~

This post is a part of I Should Be Folding Laundry’s You Capture. Thank you, Beth.

I wrote something about how I know everything over at Mama Manifesto today. You can check it out if you’d like.

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