Just Write {28}

March 26, 2012

I reached up and pulled on my ear lobe and then pulled again and again. I don’t know why, really. Just something to do, something repetitive besides answering Asher’s question, the same one, coming again from the back seat.

I don’t know, honey. I just don’t know. I don’t know what else to say about it. He asks the world’s cutest questions and so many of them don’t have answers.

It struck me that my ear lobe is the kind of soft that aging brings, like the space between my neck and chin. It’s as if the skin has been stretched by gravity for long enough to have given up.

The boys (and I’m sure very soon, their sister) tell me that I’m getting old. I laugh when they say that, but I’m sure this opinion won’t change. They can only see my outsides with fine lines and dark circles below the eyes.  It makes perfect sense to them, their mother being old in a way they will never feel when they are 36.

So this is one of my best kept mom secrets–what they can’t see, past my softening skin, is the young me that’s inside and kept there because of them, not giving up.


This is the 28th installment of Just Write, an exercise in free writing your ordinary and extraordinary moments{Please see the details here.}  I would love to read your freely written words so join me and link up below. You can add the url of your post at any time. Just be sure it’s a link to your Just Write post, not to your main pageThen please link back to this post in your post so people know where to go if they’d like to join in.) (Any links not following those two guidelines will be deleted.)

Also. Please take a moment to visit someone else who has linked up! It’s a really good way to meet new writers and get inspired by the meaning behind their moments. Word?


tara pohlkotte March 26, 2012 at 8:36 pm

oh yes… this aging. I remember with horror my parents 30th birthday. The black balloons… the over the hill everything. I was SURE I would never be that old… to know that their lives were only just beginning. Makes me smile.
tara pohlkotte recently posted..My Mother Lilacs and I

Suzanne March 26, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Oh yes. Yes. Our kids have no idea how young we all feel, even while they’re thinking everyone over the age of 15 is ANCIENT.
Suzanne recently posted..A Mess

adriana willey March 26, 2012 at 8:51 pm

comedian carol burnett pulled her earlobe twice at the end of every performance as a way of honoring her mother. yours could be something cool like that :)
adriana willey recently posted..love turned brave

Kate March 26, 2012 at 9:04 pm

I feel like I wrote about this in different words, tonight. Thanks for the perspective. :)
Kate recently posted..Three Years With My Heart Outside My Body

Shelly Miller March 26, 2012 at 9:12 pm

It is daily, the changes I see in the mirror and can do nothing about. It is hard, but you are so right, we stay young on the inside and that is what matters most. My mother-in-law is beautiful in every way and most of her closest friends are my age. I want to be just like her when I grow up!
Shelly Miller recently posted..Finding Your Voice

tracy@sellabitmum March 26, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Oh so true. My grandmother told me (she’s 88) that we will always feel about 27 inside. Just nobody can really see that anymore..unless we happen to do a cartwheel in the front yard and our panties show.
tracy@sellabitmum recently posted..A Picture Without Make-up

Jo@Mylestones March 26, 2012 at 10:01 pm

“….is the young me that’s inside and kept there because of them, not giving up.”
Love that.
Jo@Mylestones recently posted..In which I discover the magical cure for skinned knees {Just Write}

Adventures In Babywearing March 26, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Oh my, I wrote about something quite similar, too. Love your perspective. I need to look a bit more upward about it.

Adventures In Babywearing recently posted..Water Wings

Elaine March 26, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Ooooh, I was channeling the young me today. It’s getting harder. Hang on to your lobes baby!! ;-) xo
Elaine recently posted..No running for now, right? Right.

Galit Breen March 26, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Lovely. In the young-old way.

Also? I pull on my lobe, too! When I sneeze. Doesn’t everybody?! Ahem. :))
Galit Breen recently posted..About Friendships

Tracie March 26, 2012 at 11:27 pm

This aging thing really does happen.

I’ve got a young me on the inside, too.
Tracie recently posted..Listen To The Music

Semi Domesticated Mama March 26, 2012 at 11:44 pm

I often wonder how I got so old so quickly. Where did the young me go? Most of the time I still feel 16. Then I look in the mirror and wonder who that old chick is and where she came from. Sigh. Great post!
Semi Domesticated Mama recently posted..The Other Side of Bullying

Jamie March 27, 2012 at 6:14 am

I know that soft ear you describe. It always comforted me when I pulled on my Grandma’s. You are not old. You are just older than your children. :)
Jamie recently posted..Good Morning

Tricia March 27, 2012 at 6:30 am

Oh so very lovely. Children really do keep the young there inside of us.

molly March 27, 2012 at 7:53 am

Very rarely do I feel like I’m really in my thirties. I still feel like a teenager sometimes. Same angst. Same immaturity. But someone gave me this big house to live in and children to take care of!

Then I look in the mirror and see the sun spots and fine lines around my eyes and I realize, yep, I’m in my thirties with two children. And yes, this house is actually mine.
molly recently posted..weekend

melissa @ the pleated polka dot March 27, 2012 at 8:38 am

“the young me that’s inside and kept there because of them, not giving up.”

thankful for this. thankful that they keep me moving, laughing, dancing and sometimes crying but altogether…young.

great post heather. thank you for this space to share!

Cheairs March 27, 2012 at 8:56 am

As always….so, so, beautiful!

Heather March 27, 2012 at 9:44 am

Beautifully written. I feel the same way – how young we are!

Bridget March 27, 2012 at 10:05 am

A friend and I were talking yesterday about how children simultaneously make you feel young and old. We enjoy the carefree moments of play, but then struggle to keep up with them.
Bridget recently posted..The Magic of Words

Nancy March 27, 2012 at 11:04 am

Today was my first entryin Just Write. I hope it’s what it is supposed to be. It is what I was thinking. I’m off to read some other entries now.

Julia March 27, 2012 at 3:35 pm

This is so true. I am often torn between my own identity as a girl and a woman; a young person or an old person. And I realize that to my son, I am old, but in my mind I still can remember my days of young, and hold on to them tightly. Lovely post!
Julia recently posted..Reflection and an Anniversary

Jamie March 27, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Just to let you know it still feels that way when you turn 48. Now I have to remind myself. You have to check thinking young with how you really look. Not to let getting older change what I want to do…just what I look like doing it. No string bikinis except on faraway islands where I do not know a soul for 1000 miles (except my husband.)
Jamie recently posted..Born free. Small amphibians fight for their right to be green.

Jennifer March 27, 2012 at 8:06 pm

I love your just write series! This is my first link-up with you. I love your posts. Thank you Heather, for inspiring me to write.
Jennifer recently posted..Nap time for two

Amber March 27, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Too true. I wonder now, how young does my mom feel? I’d bet it’s a lot younger than I know.
Amber recently posted..After the Rain…

Kate March 28, 2012 at 9:52 am

As my grandma got very, very old, what stayed was her earliest memories – poems and nursery rhymes, her childhood nickname. We are, all of us, young within. It’s why the lines are shocking to ourselves, who should know our years.
Kate recently posted..Evening glories

Tiffany March 28, 2012 at 11:31 am

OH we’re so ancient at 36!!! Gotta love kids. I agree though we stay young for them…
Tiffany recently posted..Not What I Thought

The Mommy Psychologist March 29, 2012 at 1:07 am

I remember holding my mom while she cried when she turned 35. I wanted to make her feel better, but I remember thinking she really was old. In a very short time, it will be my turn to cry.
The Mommy Psychologist recently posted..I’m so Green I Eat My Own Placenta

Lydia April 3, 2012 at 8:53 am

My daughter thinks I’m old, too. It’s sure humbling! http://clutteredgenius.blogspot.com/2012/04/im-such-bad-mom.html
Lydia recently posted..I’m such a bad mom…

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