Just Write {16}

I don’t very often resolve to do things for the new year. I try to find the resolve every day and fail and triumph and triumph and fail.

The time does fly but sometimes I wonder if that’s just because we forget so quickly so it just seems like it when really a lot of the time it’s kind of slow. Either way, there is the illusion of fast and so fast it is.

I was writing the numbers on the wipe off calendar in the little squares inside the bigger squares and it felt like I just did this, writing July and then October and now it’s a new year. I am writing those little numbers so often. Almost every time I have to try hard to remember how many days are in the month.

The months fly by forgotten and it still says “Get Asher left-handed kid scissors” at the top of the calendar. I keep forgetting.

A few days back I started to write dreams and goals for 2012. I always hesitate to do that because I have this tendency to get over-zealous and then I end mostly only writing small numbers in small squares. So I tried to keep it simple and almost everything I wrote had to do with my family and our home and not My Own Things. Those just weren’t coming to mind. I just want to be a mother and I’m learning exactly what that word means for me. I never thought I would say this but lately I’m content with sweeping and laundering and organizing with my “free time” and doing nothing much else at all. Is there such a thing as a frenzied peace? Because in the daily grind the frantic feeling doesn’t ever stop so we just have to figure out what to do with it.

I’m guessing I might be back to feeling more angst and frustration by the next time I wipe off the calendar but that’s okay because there is just today. One little square at the corner of a bigger square and this is how just that one little number feels right now. One little number is good and enough no matter how it feels.

Happy New Year, friends.

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This is the 16th installment of Just Write, an exercise in free writing your ordinary and extraordinary moments. {Please see the details here.}  I would love to read your freely written words so join me and link up below. You can add the url of your post at any time. Just be sure it’s a link to your Just Write post, not to your main page. There are really no rules, besides Just Write! (Then link back to this post in your post so people know where to go if they’d like to join in.) (Any links not following those two guidelines will be deleted.) 

Also. Please take a moment to visit someone else who has linked up! It’s a really good way to meet new writers and get inspired by the meaning behind their moments. Word?

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