one year

January 20, 2011

I’ll feel a little bump or rumble or slipping and sliding, something low on my belly and then I’ll reach there and wonder,

was that you? who are you? maybe it was the buffalo wings… but I think maybe it was you.

Before long you’ll be unmistakable. You’ll thud and thunder, roll and push. And I’ll know it’s you and I’ll start to know some things about you, just by the ways that you move in me.

:::::

I can say that about me too, one year later.
I’ll ask myself,

was that you?
who are you?

Because all these months I’ve only been just a start, just a small thud, slipping and sliding, finding my way to growing my heart and mind and discovering what they were made to know and be.
Not just being a bundle of a thousand mysterious things that are only there for the trying to be somebody else.

Before long (or maybe longer and that’s okay), I’ll be unmistakable, even to me. I will thud and thunder, roll and push, and I’ll know it’s me, and I’ll start to know more things about me, just by the ways that You move in me.

{thank you, to Ellie and Maggie}



{and thank all of you, of course. For reading and encouraging, for praying and for understanding. If you lived here, on the other side of this screen, you’d see I have so far to go. But I’m grateful, for the gifts, the many gifts of this year…and you, my friends, are one of those gifts. Thank you.}

{ 50 comments }

~j. January 20, 2011 at 8:37 am

Oh, Congratulations, Heather! One year! You are so inspiring in so many ways. Thank you for sharing yourself with us.

TKW January 20, 2011 at 9:17 am

HUGE. For you, and for those who have been comforted, inspired and amazed by you. So proud, friend.

Sabrina January 20, 2011 at 9:18 am

Congratulations on 1 year… Thank you for sharing your journey.

Corinne January 20, 2011 at 9:19 am

:)
Beautiful.
It is a beautiful day.

deb January 20, 2011 at 9:21 am

Congratulations, Heather.
Honoured to be alongside even in this cyber way.

Amber January 20, 2011 at 9:38 am

Congratulations. Thank you for sharing your beautiful words with us…one day at a time.

Brianna January 20, 2011 at 9:50 am

Congratulations, Heather!!!! What a wonderful thing God has done.

I've been a bit absent from the blog world lately, but you haven't been far from my thoughts. And SO happy to hear of your pregnancy.

Bri

Becca January 20, 2011 at 9:53 am

Happy sober-versary. Thanks for sharing your journey (on purpose) and being inspiring (on accident).

One Crafty Mother January 20, 2011 at 9:59 am

Happy Anniversary, my friend.

I will never, ever stop being grateful that our journeys collided.

Lots of love to you, today and every day.

-Ellie

Adventures In Babywearing January 20, 2011 at 10:38 am

You are right where you ought to be. Wow- what an awesome milestone. I am so proud of you. And, isn't it amazing to keep meeting ourselves as time goes on?

Steph

Lisa Page Rosenberg January 20, 2011 at 10:46 am

Today is a great day.
Congratulations!

MollyinMinn January 20, 2011 at 10:54 am

I am so impressed with you. For doing all you have done. And for knowing there is more to come.

Congratulations.

Justine January 20, 2011 at 11:25 am

Congratulations Heather! A wonderful day indeed.

Sharone January 20, 2011 at 11:50 am

Congratulations, Heather! You're an incredible woman and I'm so grateful to have you in my world. :)

Heather January 20, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Congrats on celebrating one year of your new life! I am excited to get to hug you in celebration next week!

Elaine A. January 20, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Wow Heather, a year goes by so quickly, on my end anyway… I know it's been an amazing one for you in so many ways. Congratulations on tackling this "thing". You're awesome. Love ya and can't wait to hug you and your bump soon! xoxo

Laurie January 20, 2011 at 12:11 pm

You ROCK!!! Here's to many, many more to come!

Maggie, dammit January 20, 2011 at 12:13 pm

Congratulations, womb-twin. So grateful for you. See you tomorrow.

Annette January 20, 2011 at 12:20 pm

I read this the other day and I thought of you, "See your struggles as God's canvas. On it He will paint his multicolored supremacy" (Max Lucado) Except with you it is not a canvas, it is a Blog…and instead of paint it is a word…

Thanks for sharing with me I know you are a gift crafted special… just for me…

Annette

Elizabeth @claritychaos January 20, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Congratulations, Heather.

L.T. Elliot January 20, 2011 at 1:50 pm

So very proud of you, Heather! Congratulations! So glad for the bumps, both baby and you.

Aidan Donnelley Rowley January 20, 2011 at 2:14 pm

This is major. This is gorgeous. Cheers to the thuds and the thunders. And to knowing.

Mary Nevin January 20, 2011 at 3:11 pm

CONGRATS!!! There have been so many birthdays in the past 2 weeks and I just am so joyful and continually inspired by all of the strong women i encounter in recovery both in the rooms and in the blogosphere. Sending special thoughts of happiness your way today lady :)

Christine January 20, 2011 at 3:34 pm

Congratulations, sweet lady, for making it to this wondrous place…this place along a continuum. You are doing the hard work, the soul work, and before long you will know. Of that I am certain.

Happy one year!!

sara January 20, 2011 at 3:50 pm

woo hoo!!! I am so happy for you!

Kate Coveny Hood January 20, 2011 at 4:47 pm

I always love a good milestone… Much love to you!

From Tracie January 20, 2011 at 4:48 pm

One year. That is awesome.

Congratulations.

fritzfacts January 20, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Oh Congrats Heather!! One year…so fantastic.

Jamie January 20, 2011 at 7:49 pm

congratulations! I am so proud of you and inspired by you! I'm so thankful that you linked back to the stone b/c I wasn't a follower back then, but I read it tonight, and it was beautiful and perfect. I feel so blessed by your blog because I feel like every time I read your "deep stuff," it's like my heart nods along…I can't thank you enough for that! Your words encourage me to search harder for the my own that I sometimes convince myself don't exist to really explain what I feel and think about my walk with God and all the ways He is working in me and on me. THANK YOU. And really, Congratulations!! YOU ROCK!

suzannah {so much shouting, so much laughter} January 20, 2011 at 8:11 pm

what a difference a year makes. this is beautiful.

Alex@LateEnough January 20, 2011 at 9:10 pm

Hooray for you and God!

Ann Imig January 20, 2011 at 9:26 pm

Insufficient words for such a momentous day.

Really every day is, but this one has a name…

one year

I love you so much. Keep rollin'
xo

5thsister January 20, 2011 at 10:25 pm

congratulations on your blue chip! you are my inspiration, my encouragement, my hope…God bless you, Heather! May there be many more blue chips ahead!

Kalisa January 20, 2011 at 10:46 pm

Happy Birthday, lovely lady!!k

Kelly January 20, 2011 at 11:31 pm

What a difference a year makes. Congratulations!

Amy @ Never-True Tales January 20, 2011 at 11:44 pm

I love the poetic 'rightness' of this new life inside you…both literally and figuratively. Congrats on one year.

Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting January 21, 2011 at 11:09 am

One year!! Congratulations, sweetheart!! <3

Jenn January 21, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Beautiful! Congratulations on a year full of growing and changing and conquering!

Betty January 22, 2011 at 12:34 am

Awesome!!!!! Congratulations, you are so strong and inspiring!

Melissa January 22, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Oh I wish I had a bigger/better word than congratulations, because I feel like you can congratulate a lottery winner, and you can congratulate someone who just climbed Mt. Everest and you do NOT mean the same two things. Way to go and thank you for sharing your story here – it's amazing. You rock.

Shaina January 22, 2011 at 3:49 pm

You may have a long way to go, but you've also come so far.

Tooje January 22, 2011 at 11:39 pm

I hope that soon I stop looking at myself and asking "who are you?" with distain and dislike. I want to get back to me…to be happy with me again. Life is just getting in the way. I will watch your bump thunder grow and hope to grow with it. :)

Christa January 23, 2011 at 9:46 am

Congrats, and many good wishes for the days to come.

And yes, you will know you, and so will we, lucky as we are. Thanks for being brave and open and taking us along for the journey.

Much metta.

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub January 23, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Congratulations, Heather! So happy that you and Maggie have made it so far in just one year. :)

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub January 23, 2011 at 4:04 pm

I just realized that I haven't yet said congrats on your pregnancy yet, so…. CONGRATULATIONS!!! What wonderful news and, oh, what a challenge (and joy) for the new year!

Kimberly January 24, 2011 at 6:24 pm

There are few things sweeter than becoming who you've always had it in you to be. The hard things pave the way for that. I'm so glad that you're find the real you, thundering and rolling around inside of you.

swonderful January 25, 2011 at 10:17 pm

and what a year it has been. so full of good. ONE YEAR! congratulations!

Hope January 30, 2011 at 7:31 pm

Congrats on one year! It can only get better. That doesn't mean you won't have not so good days but in general it will get better.

hannah March 27, 2011 at 8:58 pm

congratulations! you are such a champion!! xo
i’ve been clean and sober for ten years, you can do it too-press on, friend!!
hannah recently posted..when i survey the wondrous cross

Heather March 27, 2011 at 9:18 pm

Thank you, Hannah. So nice to meet you. Congratulations on TEN YEARS, my sober sister. Peace.

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