stay right here

November 2, 2012

Yesterday I arrived in Chicago and stood on a curb, waiting for my much appreciated ride. (I’m here to speak at BBC Chicago.) I texted my friend and let her know what vestibule I was standing by and she texted back,

stay right there.

It made me think of being in the now, you know? The way I have to say to myself, stay right here. Stay right here, over and over. Otherwise I’m always thinking ahead, what’s next, what needs to be done and how will it turn out? What can I do to control it?

Stay here now. 

After some buses moved, I could see that I was standing right in the middle of the rental car pick-up, and if I walked just about twenty steps, I’d be in the right place for a car to pick me up. I had picked the wrong place to stand and so I started to move toward the right place. Then I stopped. Oh yeah.

Stay right there. 

Sometimes even if the place we’re standing feels all wrong, we still need to just stay right there. Just let it go. Just be.

Instead of moving, I texted my friend again, I think I’m in the rental car pick up area. I might be blocked by buses. 

That’s all I could do, because if I moved from where she expected to find me, I could make things worse. Yeah, totally a metaphor and one that I have not lived out so many times before. I’m uncomfortable! I have to run! Let’s go! Move on! We can’t stay HERE! 

I get it now, even though it’s always going to be hard for a recovering controlling people pleaser perfectionist with martyr tendencies, like me…

Sometimes we have to stay in that uncomfortable place because it’s exactly where we’ll be found. 

My ride found me without any kind of problem at all and we were off, on the road again, moving on. Forward.

So often, you can’t go forward without being stuck in discomfort for a while first. So we have to stay there, just stay there, until we’re picked up.


Shannon November 2, 2012 at 11:21 am

This is brilliance! I love the metaphor. And the fact that you tool your time for your mind to recognize it? Well that’s a step in the right direction.
Shannon recently posted..Waiting

Amy Whitley November 2, 2012 at 11:43 am

I love that you find the metaphor in everything. It’s that second leap the brain makes to the meta that makes life so interesting, I think. (And so complicated, but that’s ok too).
Amy Whitley recently posted..Retro Family Movie Night: The Emperor’s New Groove

Jessica November 2, 2012 at 2:01 pm

This is so true and I’m learning to do this more and more, like it or not. I used to try to find the first escape route but that sort of skips the healing and getting stronger part of things.
Jessica recently posted..A place to land

alita November 2, 2012 at 2:52 pm

So very true.

and when I read stay right there I heard Mel’s very capable and self assured voice telling you that you must stay. It is funny how we hear voices when we read pieces. Isn’t it? I’m glad you made it to Chicago safely & say hi to my peeps for me. I’m envious even. Enjoy!

alita recently posted..What I sense…

Roshni November 2, 2012 at 4:37 pm

I like the concept but, on the other hand, I keep thinking of the boy on the burning deck!! ;P
Roshni recently posted..Digging for gold!

Tricia November 2, 2012 at 7:23 pm

So true. So tough. Our first instinct will always be to move. Forward, avoid discomfort. But sometimes that’s where the living happens.
Tricia recently posted..Weekly Gratutide #48 – one year of gratitude

Jamie@SouthMainMuse November 3, 2012 at 7:21 am

I love that thought — stay in one place to move forward.
Sometimes things have to change and travel to us, to where we are emotionally, talent wise and even physically. We have to be confident to wait. Great message. Have a awesome trip.
Jamie@SouthMainMuse recently posted..Project Runway, Madison GA. Chris Hudson Couture.

Linda @ it all started with paint November 4, 2012 at 11:51 am

Just beautiful — and so perfectly stated. Sometimes we are so quick to move without realizing or finding or reaching our potential by just staying put for a bit. After hearing you speak at BBC Chicago, I’m thinking I may need to just “stay right here” for a bit … to regroup and rethink and refocus my focus and write out not just those end goals but all those little in-between ones that I need to reach for before I can cross that finish line …

Thanks for giving me some serious food for thought.


Linda @ it all started with paint recently posted..And now a word from my sponsor … my husband mike

Amber C. November 4, 2012 at 8:15 pm

This is brilliance, indeed, packed into something so simple and mundane as waiting for a ride. I love how you manage to do this.
Amber C. recently posted..Five-Minute Friday: Roots

Galit Breen November 4, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Oh this.

Exactly this.

{Fuzzy perfection.}

Galit Breen recently posted..Let’s Talk About Chutzpah

Barb November 5, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Lovely and brilliant and so true.
Barb recently posted..Halloween on the Prairie

Marta November 5, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Yes, yes, yes. You are so wise and so right and I so uncomfortable and dying to run away. I hope that soon I will be food and that by staying here right now, I will in fact be where I should always have been.
Marta recently posted..My Family Will Vote No

Margo Hayes November 6, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Hi Heather – I popped over from Because My Life is Fascinating’s blog… Hillary is my daughter and attended the Chicago bloggers conference and heard you speak. She told me about you – she really loved your talk and I can see why. I scrolled down to this post and was struck by the wisdom you express. Thanks so much for sharing – you are a talented writer and your pictures show you have a sweet family as well.

Vikki November 7, 2012 at 2:33 pm

I am going to print this out and put it on my desk.

Stay right there.

I need to do this, need to stay steady, need to trust that this is where I am supposed to be right now.
Vikki recently posted..Election Day 2012

elaine November 28, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Thank you. That’s something I needed to hear.

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