I am currently eating a bagel just as fast as I can.
Dear Digestive System,
please don’t be mad, I’m in a hurry.
Love,
Overwhelmed
I leave for Utah in just 2 days. There I will be attending the Casual Blogger Conference and also doing a little speaking. Today I am kidless and working hard at preparing for the speaking and whitening my teeth. Because, you know, people might think my teeth are yellow while I’m waxing philosophical about blogging in front of them. Or something.
I’ve printed out my itinerary and the conference agenda and tickets for this and tickets for that and apparently this is really happening.
I shall now sit back and tell myself (burp) that everything is going to be just fine.
Yesterday I went to get loads of groceries in an effort to continue my job as wife and mother while I’m away. I was starting to feel the stress of traveling and public speaking and all of that, and for a while I sat in the grocery store parking lot, staring at its liquor store. I wasn’t going to go in. I’ve made promises to myself and to my family and friends that I want to keep. But boy oh boy did I ever want white wine. Which makes no sense because I hardly ever drank white wine in my past alcoholic life. But it was so hot out and my stress level was rising and I had that dream about drinking white wine and it was so real. The dewy glass and the cold flow of bitter-sweet rushing to my veins. So real. And I wanted that dream to be real. Even though I know that if that dream were real, it would make me (and many others) very sad.
So I got out of my car and got fruit and meat and cheese instead. And while I stood in the checkout, I watched the little screen beeping through my items, adding up my purchases, and I wondered why there needed to be advertisements on the other half of the screen. This wine is on sale and that wine is on sale, and I will never taste it again.
It’s everywhere. In books I read, people meeting up for margaritas. On TV, the way the lies are told, that drinking this or that form of booze will make you happy and maybe even thin. We all know that isn’t true. I mean, I lost ten freaking pounds in a matter of days when I quit consuming an ungodly amount of wine. And my teeth are whiter now, too. For the record. Perhaps I don’t need to whiten them before the conference after all….
Anywho. Like I said, it’s everywhere, and I am everywhere, so I’m thinking I should just get used to it. Or start picketing or something. But not now, I need to go to Utah. In 2 days.
(Now is probably a good time to get prepared for my “presentations.”)
What I’ll think about while I work hard today is not wine, I will think about the lovely people I’m going to get to see and hear and laugh with. And I will know that I’m going to remember it all and be present and aware for it all, my veins filled with nothing but the blood pumping through them…and possibly, a whole lot of sugar.
Wish me well, friends! Even if you don’t, I have a feeling this is going to be good. Even if the haircut I got the other day makes my head look like a very large mushroom.
{ 36 comments }
Good luck – I bet you're going to do awesome! And really, what better place to avoid mentions of alcohol than Utah?
Megan, that is truly a very good (and hilarious) point. :)
Yes, Utah is going to be super supportive. :)
I love you, you are going to knock it out of the park at the conference. Have a great time!
Yea, what Megan said! :)
Plus we'll be having SO much fun you'll be all.. "Wine who??" Really! :)
I cant beleieve its so soon.. (p.s. I'm getting nervous too and I dont even have to fly anywhere, or leave my kids.. or speak in front of everyone. I'm just having that, "what if people dont like me" fear..)
We'll get through this!
Hope you get lots done today..
You're going to be brilliant! And I'm sure the glow of your white teeth with blind people to the mushroom hair. Good luck!
You will be fantastic! Your voice is one EVERYONE should get a chance to hear! You are an inspiration to us all!
Have a great time!
I am super excited to meet you!
You know it says something that you were willing to at least get groceries before you leave. Usually I leave this to be an activity when I'm gone, since he won't cook anything I buy anyway.
Good luck! You will be stunning and sensational.
So are we going to get a picture of the mushroom head hair cut or what? ;)
Praying for you as you travel and speak and meet wonderful friends. You will be awesome. I'm positive about it; you were such a delight in person at Cupcake. :)
Can't wait to meet you! I'm doing all of the same things today, in an effort to be prepared. And I'm making an extra note to myself to not forget my flat iron because then I will have mushroom hair as well. But hey… at least I'd be in good company!
Totally agree with Megan! ;)
Have FUN! I am sure you will be amazing, because really? How could you not be?
(*i'm in utah, too. but not going to the conference, because i can't remember exactly why right now, somehow. but there are those of us, here in the frozen mountaintops [did you hear we got record snowfall yesterday?] who are pleased you're coming, and proud of your strength, and delighted with your virtual friendship.)
you are going to be great! Good luck and congratulations on not succumbing to wine's siren song…
I'm ready to start picketing… I'm having the hardest time recently, it's just everywhere!! And I want it. I'm not going to lie. But the world is a better place with a sober me. And you :)
Have fun! Enjoy every moment of your trip. Soak it in and love on those folks in Utah like nothing else!
You are so brave and that courage will be catalytic in so many people's lives. What a beautiful gift you are! (PS Just cooked mushrooms last night :) )
I terrified and stressed and nervous too and I am not speaking :-)
Also, I quit smoking 5yrs ago, cold turkey. I know it's not quite the same, but five years later, heck while I am writing this I can feel what it's like in my hand, in my mouth, pumping through my veins. I still have dreams about it that are So. Real. It's get's better, they are no as frequent and far more often I smell it on someone and am turned off to it.
Day by day. Step by step.
Another vote for a photo of mushroom hair. Pretty please? :) (Said by the woman who hasn't gotten a haircut in over a year. Oh, the shame!)
Have a wonderful trip, Heather. And three cheers for those supportive Utes!
LOVE your random interjections of eating a bagel. It gives the post a more casual feeling that draws the reader in.
Recognizing the fact it is everywhere you are is just a constant reminder of how far you have come. Congratulations!
The best of skill in getting prepared for the conference. You'll be fine.
Good luck with the conference. Just remember, people are there to hear good speakers, good writing, good stories. Your writing is wonderful, your honesty absolute and so no one will be looking at your teeth, or your hair (both of which I am sure look just fine) they will simple listen.
I'm wishing you more than well. I'm praying your trip will be full of laughter and truth and freedom and joy. Have a great time, Heather! (Bonus: No humidity in Utah.)
Well, if you look like a mushroom, then I'm sure your PANACHE will ensure that the fad catches on quickly!
Good luck in Utah. Wish I was going! I love it there…every time I go to visit hubs' family, it feels like I'm home somehow…
Well, I can pretty much guarantee that there will be no margarita get togethers at CBC!
You rock. I wish I were going so I could meet you. But I'll meet you eventually. Since you are one of the few bloggers that live quasi near me. :)
You are going to have such a blast – no doubt!
Aaawwww…best of everything to you!! Have a lovely trip!!
You're gonna rock it. Wish I could hear and see you speak. Godspeed my friend.
And hugs about the stupid wine being everywhere. Same withe sugar. Stupid.
I always tell myself that it takes a few days for the haircut to "settle." Here's hoping it's more eggplant-like and less mushroom-y by the time you get to Utah. Have a wonderful wine-less, sugar-filled trip! =>
Oh, I would do anything to come hear you speak. You're going to be FABULOUS. Just by being you.
And I'm with you on those ads, signs, stores – on days, particularly bad days, it came make me insane. We have a major commuting route out of Boston that has 8 – COUNT 'EM – EIGHT – billboards with booze ads. Meant to entice the poor slobs commuting home, trapped in their cars. Makes me very glad I don't have to drive that road every day. My husband and I call it "Booze Alley".
So have fun! It will be fantastic. So will you.
-Ellie
I so wish I were going to be able to hear you speak! Really, I feel like I should know you! I know you'll be fabulous .. . best of luck and have fun!
so you? You know you'll be great, right? You HAVE to know this, as surely as you know how strong you are for not buying wine on this hot day when it would taste nice.
You're going to be great, and people will feel touched, and inspired, and comfortable with you all at once, just like they do right here. Only, you'll be able to hear them laugh right away. It'll be awesome.
You will enjoy your conference. You are a breath of fresh untainted air. Your words speak of truth.
The burp was a fun interjection by the way.
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I bet it will be an absolutley fabulous time. You will be a HIT
white teeth or not
I wish I could be there
soooooooooooooo fun
and heres a little hug for staying away from that damn liquor store.
Oh, you are in my neck of the woods!! I learned about the conference too late-completely sold out. :(
Take care. I would love to see and hear you. And oh how I would love to laugh with you.
Heather, sounds like a fabulous opportunity to shine your light. You will do well, I'm absolutely sure of it. Everything you need to share is already within you, waiting to be given air. You're the only one who can do it the way you can, the way it's meant to be heard. :)
The good news is that nobody else will be drinking either. It'll be like an AA meeting, only with more mormons. :) (Seriously, I think this conference is about 98.444% mormon.)
First, you do NOT have a mushroom head. Since I've officially seen you in person (and HUGGED you–yay!) I can say this with authority.
But you do realize that tomorrow I'll be unable to resist looking at your teeth.
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