There are a lot of infomercials on in the night. Every channel it seems. I’ll be up in the night with Elsie, either pacing the floors to lull her to sleep or nursing her in a sleepy haze. And someone is always trying to sell me something if I turn the TV on.
When I was up nursing Miles I remember watching Little House on the Prairie a lot. I think there were marathons every night. With Asher I remember watching televangelists a lot. I don’t even like televangelism…at all, but there I would be, zoned out and strangely fascinated. Now, when I’m up with Elsie, I do more reading on my phone than TV-spacing. I read blog posts mostly, and a reflection of the day for we recovering alcoholics. It’s a good start to the day-night.
Sidenote: I’m going to just go ahead and point out that I tried to discreetly erase my bulging belly from the above picture. But it’s not discreet at all. It’s very obvious editing. Next time I’ll just leave my belly as it is. After all, it just had a person in it.
Second Sidenote: Yes. The boys are trying to pull down my maternity pants in the photo.
Speaking of the boys. They’re currently into drawing up maps. The maps they make are abstract and totally not planned out based on getting anywhere at all. They are marker or crayon to paper with wild twists and turns, left and then right and then back and up and down. North, South, East and West, circular and spiral. No rhyme or reason.
Then up from the table they go, to find their way, following a non-path-path of their own dreaming up. They look down at the paper and take a right into the living room, mumbling to themselves about the lines on the paper, freely storming ahead. It’s like they know that all they need is passion and some tools like hope and faith in order to get somewhere. And it’s like they know that it’s the traveling that’s the best part, even if you have no idea what you’re doing.
I wonder when it is I started to try to control my map. Or when I started to believe that if I got off the beaten path, I was doomed to “wrong.”
I’m so glad these kids of mine are teaching me to create and let go, and that it’s okay that I’ve drawn and then taken so many off-the-beaten-path-spirals that have taught me the most.
I could watch televangelists every night for the rest of my life. They could tell me, Here is your salvation…and now here is the price…and then I could ignore them in exchange for attention to the little preachers who live so fully right here in front of me, for free. They teach of God like nothing else.
{ 21 comments }
You look so good! Seriously, so good. When I had Nola (4 years ago) somebody bought me 2 months worth of Netflix. Since we didn’t (and still don’t) have cable, it was the best gift ever. I quickly got addicted to Project Runway, and “make it work” became my new mantra.
Oh, how much I love this. Your boys, drawing maps and then following them, the little preachers right in front of you. It’s a perfect image for me where I am in my life now – trying to remember how to look and hope and dream with the heart and simple faith of a child. Oof, my heart.
<3
I love this. Maps are an important trope for me, and I think they are a wonderful metaphor for life … the key (I think) is drawing our own, rather than following one we’ve been given … xox
They teach of God like nothing else.
– thanks for this
I love all this stuff about maps. It is great to see your smiling face. I miss you!
Ann recently posted..Summer Vacation Stockholm Syndrome
You look great! All 4 of you. :)
Steph @ Diapers and Divinity recently posted..Fight or Flight
Oh I love this post. I love your photoediting attempt. I am in the same boat. Last night my oldest grabbed my phone camera to take a shot and it was at the most awful angle and I just burst into the giggles when he proudly flashed what he captured into my face. But the giggle than faded into a sad little chuckle…and then the wise boy said, “Let me try again since that one didn’t turn out.” That’s a wise boy…that six year old. ha!
And I too love my iphone for occupying my late night feedings. What a gift.
Sarah-fortheloveofnaps recently posted..Love – Love
Bulging belly my butt!! You look absolutely wonderful! I was never a TV watcher while up at night with my boys, instead, I silently pleaded to the sleep Gods to grace us with their presence…and rocked, and rocked and rocked them until the sleep Gods showed up. Oh, the exhaustion, I do not miss it even a tad (I do miss holding sleeping babies though!).
Sherry recently posted..Sneak Peak of our Family Portraits
I LOVE this! Our children are the BEST teachers we could have when it comes to grace, love and second (or third or fourth) chances! So precious.
Nicole @ Rare Bird recently posted..Big news from the Ross four–yep I said four!
Ha! I love that you tried to Photoshop your belly. I am totally in the same boat. I only like photos of myself where the baby is hiding the belly.
Your baby is adorable and you look fantastic!
Alecia recently posted..A Real Social Life
Amen and Amen! I’m a new subscriber to your blog, and I adore your writing. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I LOVED this post! Have a good weekend.
Callie Feyen recently posted..Happy Hour
Pants down you look amazing!
Becky (Princess Mikkimoto) recently posted..Coming Soon To A Home Near… well, US!
Exactly about the “it just had a person it in”.
What I’m wondering is how did you edit out your sleep deprived I’m-just-trying-not-to-kill-anyone face and replace it with that happy, glowing wonderful-motherly face? That’s what I want to know.
:) You look so cute with your little preachers. Not sure how I feel about preachers who try to pull your pants down though…
LisAway recently posted..When a Home Ceases to Exist
That is such a fantastic capture of the four of you. I’m sure you will treasure it in the years to come.
Ah, yes — about the little preacher/teachers. I’m convinced my daughter was sent to me to preach and teach me about the importance of slowing down and reveling in this moment, right now, today. And my son is my mirror.
So divine.
I need to know what size Miss Elsie is. I started knitting her something and by the time I mail it it will certainly be too small so… let me know!
Steph
Adventures In Babywearing recently posted..Hello, Gorgeous
Wouldn’t have noticed the belly if you hadn’t pointed it out! You guys look so cute. Very happy.
I love that they’re drawing maps! We like to draw maps of amusement parks or dream cities and such. Very fun to see what the kids come up with!
tracey recently posted..Because I don’t want that picture up at the top anymore…
They’re making their maps, you’re making yours. And somehow you’ll all find your way together.
I wish I had mad belly-shrinking photo skillz, or maybe just the wisdom not to mind what my belly looked like in photos. Sadly, I have neither of those.
Melissa recently posted..six word fridays: dare
You look fabulous – I can’t believe you JUST had a baby! That was what I looked like several MONTHS after having my 3rd!
Jill recently posted..Got Remotes?
I was asked when I was due last week.
So…yeah.
Little kids are for serious the best teachers of God, it has to be because they are so fresh from Him.
moosh in indy. recently posted..blessed.
Oh, yes, so true! Zachary (3) said to me the other day when I was frustrated with him, ‘Mom, you need to pray and ask God to forgive you for being so angry’. OH, yes, son. I will…. :) I also think you look amazing. :) Seriously, yes, you just had a person inside of you. :) At 37 weeks preggo, I am jealous of your belly. :)
When I was nursing Zachary, I would watch marathons of Home Improvement and Fresh Prince reruns…I didn’t really watch TV while nursing Natalie, I just nursed her in bed & slept while she ate- I plan to do that again this time. :)
Carrie recently posted..Just Talking
I love this photo. It’s all wonderful, but especially, your bright, beautiful smile. :-) xoxo
Elaine recently posted..Patriotism – You Capture
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