Just Write {146}

July 29, 2014

I was folding laundry, thinking, making piles. We don’t have a TV in any kind of way at this new place. It’s been almost two months in here and no one seems to notice. The kiddos have their iPad time and they call it good. They slip-n-slide and sidewalk draw and play some sort of terribly loud game in the basement with big plastic balls bouncing off the empty walls. They play with our new guinea pig, Butterscotch. They argue and fuss and fight, too.

We had some kind of contraption hooked up to the Internet that would play us Hulu and Netflix but then it stopped working, so we stopped using it. No one seemed to notice.

There are some things that you can pay more attention to if you fold laundry with no TV on. The sounds in silence. The way your body feels too tired to pick up even one more tiny sock. And when you feel these things, along with the actual emotional feelings, your body is reminding you to go to bed.

So last night I listened and I finished the folding (barely) and I trudged bleary-eyed through the darkening house and I got into bed. I picked up my book and I felt the coolness of the sheets, and how soft they are because they’re the Best Ones. They just are, I don’t even really know why. They just feel the best. Does everyone have a Best set of sheets? The ones that come through the occasional rotation and bring a little extra Happy?

I hope so.

What you learn from not having a TV is not only that no one really misses it, other than a tiny bit at first, is that there was never really a lot of time for it anyway. What I mean is that I think I was making time for it, but mostly by moving other things out of the way that feed my soul in a different way. It’s not that I think TV watching is evil, it’s just that my brain is already on overload and sometimes it craves the silence so much more than I knew.

I haven’t been online much at all either, what with the big move and new life and now a building to grow a business with one of the smartest, most energetic women I know…well, there’s just a lot to do. It’s all good, moving toward Really Good Things…but that doesn’t mean that everything is a piece of cake. It is just a matter of

keep on going.

There is happiness in the silence with no TV and even with laundry. It is quite like the moments you can’t explain. Like how Elsie’s feet were so so very dirty last night, from mud. And she was in the shower and she couldn’t really get all the mud from between her toes and dried up high on her ankles. It was in the way I slid open the door and asked her if she needed help and then she sat down and said yes. Her water splattered face was red with the warm and she looked so tired. So I took the washcloth and I got it to go between those muddy toes and I noticed the way her toenails are still so small. And how much I love the mole between the first two toes on her right foot.

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This is the 146th installment of Just Write, an exercise in free writing your ordinary and extraordinary moments. {Please see the details here.} I would love to read your freely written words so join me and link up below. You can add the url of your post at any time. Just be sure it’s a link to your Just Write post, not to your main page. There are really no rules, besides Just Write! (Then link back to this post in your post so people know where to go if they’d like to join in.) (Any links not following those two guidelines will be deleted.)

Also. Please take a moment to visit someone else who has linked up! It’s a really good way to meet new writers and get inspired by the meaning behind their moments. Word?



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Just Write {145}

July 22, 2014

I told her there are two kinds of people. Those that stick around when your life makes them uncomfortable, and those that don’t. The ones that draw back, pull away, go quiet…they don’t intend to cause pain. Maybe they just shut down, get scared and freeze. It feels like it is you that makes them uncomfortable and maybe it is, but what can you do?

I have friends that don’t stop showing up whether they know what to say or do or not. They know my life is full of weeds right now and they keep coming along, grabbing close to the dirt and pulling with all their might until they fall backward, a big milkweed in hand, roots splaying out all over their dirty faces. Then they laugh and that makes me laugh and we point at each other. Or something like that.

The pulling at weeds/not giving up analogy is about the way they call and text and come by and nudge me on facebook. Hey, how’s it going?

I don’t always answer and they don’t take it personally. They know I’m held under right now, fighting to come up for air, one foot in front of the other, stringing moments that are lived one at a time into days somehow.

In the restaurant business a server says that they’re in the weeds when they can’t seem to catch up, all the tables filling at once, people in chairs waiting on drinks and food, looking at you like you’ve forgotten something, because you most certainly have.

I started serving again recently, for some extra cash. The other night it was just me, on my second night, and the entire place filled up. All I could do was go, go, go. I wanted to run out the back door a couple of times, but I couldn’t do that. I just did the best I could with a tricky situation.

That’s what we’re all doing.

Most of the people at the tables gave me the benefit of the doubt. They looked around at the full restaurant and sat back and waited a couple of extra minutes. I got back to them as soon as I could.

That’s how most people are. They aren’t thinking of themselves so much, and I want to be like them and I’m grateful.

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This is the 145th installment of Just Write, an exercise in free writing your ordinary and extraordinary moments. {Please see the details here.} I would love to read your freely written words so join me and link up below. You can add the url of your post at any time. Just be sure it’s a link to your Just Write post, not to your main page. There are really no rules, besides Just Write! (Then link back to this post in your post so people know where to go if they’d like to join in.) (Any links not following those two guidelines will be deleted.)

Also. Please take a moment to visit someone else who has linked up! It’s a really good way to meet new writers and get inspired by the meaning behind their moments. Word?



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Just Write {144}

July 15, 2014

I was trying to describe unconditional love with an analogy. So I compared loving a person to loving a favorite book, and it went something like this (I will paraphrase and elaborate, I’m sure.): It’s as if you’re sitting with that book you love so much, and you say, I love everything about this book. Its cover, its story, its words and lines and pages. And I flip through the book and I devour it and marvel at its colors and lines, its magic. And then I come to a page that’s torn nearly off. The paper dangles by a few fibers and I’m all, uh oh. I could say, Oh look at that, it isn’t right. Not good. Not perfect. No way. I could toss the book aside, done. That page might fall out. That page makes it hard to read. That page is ugly. Of course a book can’t tape itself [...]

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I could totally use your help. That would be so right…

July 14, 2014

Here are the options: 1. Focus on what is going wrong, staying wrong, and has been wrong in the past, and what will surely be wrong in the future. (Not forgetting that “wrong” is relative.) 2. Focus on what is going right, staying right, has been right in the past, and will surely be right in the future. (Not forgetting that “right” is relative.)   Results of choosing #1:  UGH, GRRR, Blergh, Pffft…, eff this, I suck, you suck, we all suck, the end. (In other words, stay stuck.) Results of choosing #2: I will survive, I’m like a bird, hear me roar, stayin’ alive, baby I’m a firework, I’m a survivor and I’m gonna make it… (In other words, get shit done and move forward.)   Also. Guess what? I’ll be running a collaborative workspace for creatives/artists/writers and the like…in New London, the art mecca of West Central Minnesota. It’s downtown, in a [...]

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