Just Write {19}

January 23, 2012

It’s a coffee shop made from an old house with hidden nooks and rooms. It’s cold up here in the middle room. I can hear a boy and his mother in the next space. The walls are thin and I am always tuned into a child’s voice.

It’s becoming more and more obvious that they don’t just struggle here but everywhere. The mother’s voice is well-versed in soothing responses, trying to calm the boy who cannot leave the rigid confines of his concrete mind. She is kind and she sighs when he repeats over and over and over that she sucks because she won’t take him home right this second for video games. He’s loud. Louder and louder as he repeats and repeats and does not get the answer that is the only one he wants. Someone comes to close the door from another room and awkwardly explains why she’s closing the door.

It’s not just because you’re loud, we just don’t want to bother you. Her voice is all shaky with discomfort and annoyance held behind a passive-aggresive lilt.

The mother is silent to this and I hear the door close and the boy starts to say, over and over, You were loud and I am not, it’s you that’s loud, I am not being loud this is stupid stupid stupid…He pounds on the table, over and over.

I want to hug her. She has to sit there and wait it out and be quiet with no quiet, so much of the time. All I can think about are my freezing feet and her days and how she probably doesn’t even notice when her feet are cold. She is a mother of the strongest kind, because of the boy who is a gift.

{Mother Marathoners of kids with special needs–I want to hold you up.}

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This is the 18th installment of Just Write, an exercise in free writing your ordinary and extraordinary moments. {Please see the details here.}  I would love to read your freely written words so join me and link up below. You can add the url of your post at any time. Just be sure it’s a link to your Just Write post, not to your main page. There are really no rules, besides Just Write! (Then link back to this post in your post so people know where to go if they’d like to join in.) (Any links not following those two guidelines will be deleted.) 

Also. Please take a moment to visit someone else who has linked up! It’s a really good way to meet new writers and get inspired by the meaning behind their moments. Word?


 

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{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }

Adventures In Babywearing January 23, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Oh, that is so hard, and so unnoticed in the right way. I always hear the baby cry, no matter where we are, even if there are no babies.

Steph
Adventures In Babywearing recently posted..Piece of my tooth

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Jade @ Tasting Grace January 23, 2012 at 10:54 pm

How unbelievably hard. What strength that must take, every single day.
Jade @ Tasting Grace recently posted..As Spotted on the Thai Side

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Gianna January 23, 2012 at 11:20 pm

Oh, I so love this! You can hear him and her and feel her and feel him.
This is a beautiful portrayal of the grace mama has.
Gianna recently posted..The Waterslide

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debi9kids January 23, 2012 at 11:29 pm

What a perfect post of what life is like with autism. every day.
every day.

Thank you for caring enough to write this beautiful & heartfelt post.
debi9kids recently posted..23 ~ something so beautiful about a cardinal on a snowy day

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Galit Breen January 23, 2012 at 11:32 pm

Beautiful and painful all rolled into one.

{Lovely Heather, as always.}
Galit Breen recently posted..Valentine’s Day Ideas {& $100 Minted Giveaway!}

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suzannah {so much shouting, so much laughter} January 23, 2012 at 11:40 pm

my heart aches. we never know what it’s like to walk another’s path, but you shine a light of grace and compassion. thank you.
suzannah {so much shouting, so much laughter} recently posted..be Right or be Love

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Shannon January 23, 2012 at 11:47 pm

The compassion and empathy in your posts continues to amaze and inspire me.
Shannon recently posted..I Can’t Believe I Almost Forgot

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Erica @ Expatria, Baby January 24, 2012 at 12:08 am

Lovely. I’ve been thinking about this post since you mentioned it in your earlier post, Hard is Hard.
What that mother knows about hard. Let’s all lift her up.
Erica @ Expatria, Baby recently posted..I need to chop some onions.

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Sharone January 24, 2012 at 2:05 am

All of the hearts in this story are the best kind of hearts. Mama, writer. We all need so much grace, my heart is full.
Sharone recently posted..(i just write)

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dearabbyleigh January 24, 2012 at 8:17 am

i love this sitting right next to your hard is hard piece. you moms, all of you, are just pillars of strength and all amazing. i am in awe. thanks for giving us a peek.

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Stephanie January 24, 2012 at 10:01 am

painful and beautiful

http://appelsauce.wordpress.com/2012/01/24/sick-days/
Stephanie recently posted..sick days

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molly January 24, 2012 at 10:12 am

I soak of these kind of interactions as well. Mostly because I wonder . . . is that me?
molly recently posted..Instead

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suzanne @ pretty swell January 24, 2012 at 11:17 am

Oh man. This is beautiful.

I could eat your writing, it’s that good.
suzanne @ pretty swell recently posted..The light

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Kate January 24, 2012 at 11:21 am

I see moments like that all the time and I feel the same way that you do. I just want to hug them, to sit with them and to understand.
Kate recently posted..call of the wild

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Joy @ Joy In This Journey January 24, 2012 at 2:22 pm

I always feel so bad that I don’t know what to say that will be encouraging. I should know — I’ve been the mother of a child with special needs. But I don’t want to come off wrong, so I try to just smile and not act annoyed.

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Amy @ A Faithful Journey January 24, 2012 at 2:34 pm

In situations like you’ve described, I find myself at a loss of not knowing what to do…if anything at all! But I am also at those times humbled that I do not know what it is like and thankful!

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Tina January 24, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Beautiful words! Beautiful.

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Kazzy January 24, 2012 at 5:42 pm

I look into those eyes of special needs moms often. Sometimes they are tired and sometimes on fire with determination.

Thanks for all you do/write.
Kazzy recently posted..my journey

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Julia January 24, 2012 at 7:51 pm

I felt like I was right there with you.
Julia recently posted..Naptime Indulgence

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Mollie January 24, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Oh, my heart aches for this woman and her boy… but you’re telling a story that needs to be told. Thanks for writing this, I really appreciate these words.. but I know there are mothers out here that more that appreciate them.

<3

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Cheairs January 24, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Heather,

I just read your post for the second time today and again I am wiping away tears. Tears because I know that mother’s pain. I know it to the core of who I am. And your words, “She is a mother of the strongest kind, because of the boy who is a gift.”

Yes, her sweet boy. My sweet boy. All of our sweet children…..gifts. Teaching us about the hard.

And with your fingers full of grace you typed away at your computer. And with every key stroke you shed light in a coffee house-in a nook-on a mom- on her son.

And with that light. You brought the gift of awareness. And when we are aware-when we can see someone elses hard. We can help make that hard a little more soft.

Rather than closing that door.We can step through it. We can sit next to that mother. We can put a hand on her shoulder. We can whisper, “How can I help?” Because you typed your beautiful words. We can help that mom-her son-we can help them know they are not alone.

I thank you….

And with your light comes awareness

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Jess January 24, 2012 at 9:56 pm

you are such a compassionate voice. We all need more of you.
Jess recently posted..what I try to do

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Tracie January 24, 2012 at 11:41 pm

“wait it out and be quiet with no quiet” <—this really hit me when reading your post. That is such a perfect way of wording it.
Tracie recently posted..Reading Between Interruptions

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Heather January 25, 2012 at 10:44 am

I just want to hug that mama and tell her I understand, and yet don’t. Having not been in her shoes, I can’t claim to know. But as a mom, we can all sympathize and comfort one another regardless of where on the spectrum our trials lay. Beautiful post.
Heather recently posted..Feelin’ Fantastic

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Melissa January 26, 2012 at 1:33 am

(Please forgive me, I seem to have added my link-up twice, and can’t see how to delete one!)

What a powerful story. I so enjoy how you told it from your own perspective — that of listening in, and empathizing with the mother. Would that we all could be so kind. The world needs more understanding — your post was refreshing and a joy to read.
Melissa recently posted..Grocery Shopping With Kids

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Susan January 27, 2012 at 1:54 am

Being a mother can be difficult yet extremely fulfilling. There are times when children’s behavior is stressful and testing. In the end mothers don’t fail to be patient, forgiving and caring.
Susan recently posted..DTS Home

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Ruth January 27, 2012 at 3:51 am

It is hard to see the mother endure and suffer because of her child. I agree as well that her strength comes from the love and appreciation of her child. Thank you for sharing, I was really touched by your post.
Ruth recently posted..how to get a girlfriend

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